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Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,168
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: Any thoughts???

[ Edited ]

Credt cards make it far too easy to shop online...one click and the whole world can be on your porch in just a few days..even sooner if you get expedited shipping. You can also just limit yourself to one purchase per week....other things you are tempted to buy...take that money and put in your savings account or even just a jar....a therapist might be a good idea, but if you aren’t comfortable with that just yet, I think since you have already acknowledged you are overshopping, you know there is an issue....figuring out why would be easier with a professional. Getting rid of your credit card would be a good idea....or sending back stuff within the thirty day return period. You will get tired of doing that and that might help curb your buying more.

Regular Contributor
Posts: 236
Registered: ‎10-30-2013

@Trinity11 wrote:

Some tips that definitely work...

 

1. Turn off the television when it comes to shopping channels. Go cold turkey. Think of it as not wanting to be persuaded to buy anything that you didn't need before watching someone hawking their wares.

2. Find new activities to keep you busy. Get rid of the clutter in your home and gain a new respect for your money and where it goes.

3. Open up a savings account and start stashing all the money you used to spend on needless purchases into an interest bearing account. It will grow a lot quicker than you think and there is nothing quite like being in control of your money.

4. Don't read a lot of fashion magazines. They will only make you think you need something "to measure up" that you really do not need.

5. Make a plan regarding your wardrobe. I love the 10 item wardrobe approach to purchasing clothing. Everything works with everything in your wardrobe. No one needs 10 t shirts.

6. Be careful reading some of the Fashion forum posts. People share that they are buying new clothing there all the time and it is tempting to do the same. Remember that you have a "vision" for the next year of your life and you don't want to be bogged down paying credit card bills for stuff that will be probably outdated or worn out the next year.

7. I applied all of this to my own life and I saved enough money over the past two years that I never even though would be possible. I still can splurge once in awhile but my goal was accomplished and it feels a whole lot better than a packed jewelry box or 40 pairs of Manolo's.

8. Good luck and keep us posted how you are doing....


 

 

@Trinity11 

 

 

This is GREAT advice! Thanks for taking time to post it! Smiley Happy

 

 

Regular Contributor
Posts: 236
Registered: ‎10-30-2013

@SuperShopper wrote:

This is a problem that soooooo many of us have.  The sad thing is that if it continues unchecked, it can drive you into poverty as you get older.  

 

Admitting that there is a problem is the first step.  Then remembering that you have a problem is important also as you move forward.  

 

In my humble opinion, you don't need a therapist, you need something like Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University.  A therapist will cost you wads of money and may take months to address your issues.  You can get stuck in the paralysis of analysis trying to figure out WHY, which may drive you to making a purchase to make yourself feel better.

 

My suggestion is for you to cancel your online shopping accounts.  Or at least delete the payment options to make it harder to make new purchases.  

 

As another person suggested, return everything you can.  Go through your closets and cupboards and sell everything that is unneeded.  Pay off any outstanding easy pays if you can that might keep you from closing your accounts.  

 

Go through your online shopping bills and figure out how much you are spending on clothes, shoes, or whatever it is that tempts you.  You may be shocked into realizing just how much money you have wasted.  Shipping charges & return charges add up very fast.  

 

Stop watching.  Stop checking the website.  

 

These merchants make it so easy & it becomes a form of addiction.  "You want it, you need it, you deserve it ...."  

"Feel free to get as many as you want."  "It's selling out, it won't be reordered ....."

 

If you like having the TV on for company, noise, etc, find another type of programming ..... home decor, travel, cooking ....  I have started watching golf.  The courses are in beautiful locations, often by the ocean, with beautiful plants or dramatic scenery.  

 

Watch the hoarder shows on TV and see how many of them have mountains of unopened boxes from online merchants.  

It can be a form of aversion therapy for you to see how others have ruined their lives with stuff.  

 

I know a woman who has hoarding tendencies that is now in horrible health and has no money left to live on.  Over the last several years, she has spent many thousands of dollars buying stuff she does not need from shopping channels and online merchants.  It is pitiful.

 

My mother who is 92 and is experiencing cognitive dysfunction (probably dementia) won't quit buying stuff.  Thankfully she has not run out of money yet, but she can't/won't give it up, despite the best efforts of her family caregivers.  

 

I am preaching to myself.  Your question has given me the incentive to change my evil ways too LOL!!!

 

Remember that song Fifty Ways to Leave Your Lover?

 

"Just slip out the back, Jack, make a new plan, Stan,
Don't need to be coy, Roy, just listen to me,
Hop on the bus, Gus, don't need to discuss much,
Just drop off the key, Lee, and get yourself free."

 

Many of us need to "make a new plan, Stan" & get ourselves free.  

 

I am not a Marie Kondo devotee, but her method may be helpful:

 

There are six basic rules to get started:
  1. Commit yourself to tidying up.
  2. Imagine your ideal lifestyle.
  3. Finish discarding first. Before getting rid of items, sincerely thank each item for serving its purpose.
  4. Tidy by category, not location.
  5. Follow the right order.
  6. Ask yourself it it sparks joy.

 

Unnecessary shopping clearly does not spark joy.  

 

Find ways to reward yourself for making progress that don't involve more shopping/spending, eating or alcohol LOL!!!

 

Keep a journal or document your progress in a way that is meaningful to you.

 

Set concrete financial goals and make it a project to meet them.

 

Acknowledge that you can spend a dollar only once.

Identify other things that are priorities for your money, like saving for a car or other big ticket item, putting away money for retirement or health care, furniture, travel, etc.  

 

Set a rule for yourself that for every item that comes in, another item must go out.   

 

Blessings to you!  Keep us posted on your progress.  

 

I hope others post additional suggestions or encouragement on how to shake the shopping habit.  

 


 

 

@SuperShopper 

 

Another WONDERFUL post! Thanks for taking time to share it. Smiley Happy

 

 

Contributor
Posts: 56
Registered: ‎07-02-2015

I can relate and have read every page so far. I have always loved shopping and buying online has replaced 80% of my going out to stores to buy for myself. Many of the tips shared here are excellent, I have started to make small changes myself but old habits are hard to break, baby steps are still steps! 

 

We do not carry credit card debt but I have WAY more than I need and we need to save more for the future and for retirement.

 

The Lunchtime and Primetime Specials are very tempting for bargain hunters like me (curse you QVC!). I like to watch certain shows and certain hosts for fashion and beauty advice, but have become more discerning. I read customer reviews and look to see if I can find it elsewhere for less, I have developed rules for myself when seeing things I like (jewelry and clothing). I also keep a wishlist and wait for prices to drop.

 

Thanks to all who have shared positive messages and tips!

Contributor
Posts: 53
Registered: ‎06-19-2014

There is so much good advice here.  I don't know if I am an addict but I definitely would call myself a compulsive shopper.  What I do is utilize the wish list on everything I want to buy.  I add the item to the wish list and wait and go back to it a couple of days later.  Often the desire of the item will be gone.  I actually ask myself why do I want the item and how will I use it.  After going through this exercise  and still see that I need it I will go ahead and buy it.  Now that QVC keeps items at the TSV price for several days, this helps me if I decide to go ahead and purchase the item.  

 

I admit that I like watching QVC especially with my favorite hosts.  I look at it as a guilty pleaure to escape from the world but it is a double edge sword that I constantly remind myself of.  I allow myself to look at the item, pick the color and imagine how I would look in it.  I allow myself to feel all of those feelings and then let it go and move on. 

 

When the pressure to buy something is strong, I tell myself that the item will be there next week and next month.  I also tell myself this when I am in stores as well.  This usually defuse the desire to get it now.  

 

I also tend to overshop for food items.  My trigger stores are Costco and Wegman's.  I only allow myself to go into those stores every few months.  

 

I notice that when I have the urge to shop there is something else going on in my life.  I try to get to the bottom of what is bothering me.  It is not easy to face the fact that I am lonely, bored or depressed.  

 

Another problem I have is shopping while on vacation.  What I do about this is to budget a shopping fund for me to use to pick up things while we are traveling.  This seems to help.

 

Having said all of this there are times that I have completely gone off track and given in to my worst compulsions.  I then just pick myself up face the damage and try to learn from it and move on.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,238
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

I tease about 'over-shopping' and I actually do it sometimes.  (Last week).  

 

But I can stop it when I want to. I did just recently.  I enjoy shopping (on QVC, mostly).  It's fun for me and it doesn't pose a problem financially. 

 

I do (now) send back items I don't want or don't fit.  It gets to be a pain in the neck but I've decided it's stupid to keep things I have no use for.  I give enormous amounts of things (everything, except clothes and shoes, (no fat friends) away, to friends and charity.  If they don't want or need it, they give it to people they know.  So it all gets used.

 

I could travel anywhere I want.  I could do a lot of things.  But I'd rather not.  I've traveled a lot.  I've done a lot of things.  So, my girls don't tease me anymore about shopping.  They know I enjoy it.

 

I don't apologize for buying stuff.  I tease about it, but, honestly, I don't feel the least bit guilty.