Re: A wedding question

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@MsLomo wrote:
Interesting question. My reaction is that it's your call regarding whether your friends should be invited (unless he developed his own friendships with them, in which case it's up to him), and it's his call regarding inviting his aunts.

Thanks, I agree with you.

qualitygal · ‎10-04-2010

You could let him know he doesn't need to invite them on your behalf, but being his wedding, it's his choice. JMHO

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
@chrystaltree wrote:
Do you know your son well...? Do you ever talk to each other? If you can answer yes to either question. You convey this information to him. "I see that Susie and Mimsey are on the guest list, I am not close to either of them now, so there is no reason to invite them to your wedding". As for family members, it's his wedding and they are his relatives too, if he wants to invite them, why would you object??? Why do you feel awkward?

Agreed. Maybe he has a closer relationship with them than Mom does.

He put them on the list because he thought I would want them to be invited. As for the relatives, it is awkward because they will see it as looking for a gift. None of us has a relationship with them,and have not for years.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@qualitygal wrote:
You could let him know he doesn't need to invite them on your behalf, but being his wedding, it's his choice. JMHO

That is how I feel.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@ChynnaBlue wrote:
@MsLomo wrote:
Interesting question. My reaction is that it's your call regarding whether your friends should be invited (unless he developed his own friendships with them, in which case it's up to him), and it's his call regarding inviting his aunts.

His wedding, his and his bride's call on every person on the list.

But I would ask him why he's inviting them. He might be inviting them for you or because he feels obligated, in which case you can tell him that he doesn't need to invite them for you and then see what he does.

Good advice, thanks.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@Sooner wrote:
@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
@aggravated wrote:
You don't want him to invite his friends? Isn't that supposed to be part of his wedding?

I know, right?

I mean, it's the SON'S wedding, and NOT the o/p's. Sorry, but the parents DON'T get to dictate what or who is in the wedding. ALL decisions should be made by the couple getting married, and NOBODY else.

I'd think it would be nice of the couple to check with their immediate family about the list. I mean after all if they can't discuss this in a polite way respective of everyone's feelings how will they handle future gatherings and holidays? To me, it seems the perfect way to get used to working these issues out in a peaceful way. No harm. Maybe there are people their family would RATHER be invited than some already on the list, and maybe there are people who were forgotten and SHOULD be on the list.

Yes, we do appreciate that they went over the list before the invitations were sent out. We would never make an issue of this and add to the stress of a wedding.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@aggravated wrote:
You don't want him to invite his friends? Isn't that supposed to be part of his wedding?

Sorry, I see now that these are YOUR friends you had no intention of inviting - not his. Apologies.

That's ok.

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@moto wrote:
How old is your son? It may be due to conversations with his fiancée that these names ended up on the list.

I agree, if the list is still being edited, ask him why. If it is a done deal, say nothing, let it go.

I had a similar experience where my son added the parents of some of his groomsmen to the his guest list. I did ask him why, and let him know this one couple was someone I would never have included.

He said he thought he was obligated to add them.
I let him know there was no such obligation.

I agree with you. I think he thinks it is an obligation issue. Thanks

panda1234 · ‎04-27-2015

@2blonde wrote:
OP, please don't get offended by this, but do you think that maybe the potential for gifting has anything to do with the long list? Just a thought.

Not with these two. But, I can see the people getting the invitations thinking that.