A wedding question - Page 2

moto · ‎03-09-2010

How old is your son? It may be due to conversations with his fiancée that these names ended up on the list.

I agree, if the list is still being edited, ask him why. If it is a done deal, say nothing, let it go.

I had a similar experience where my son added the parents of some of his groomsmen to the his guest list. I did ask him why, and let him know this one couple was someone I would never have included.

He said he thought he was obligated to add them.
I let him know there was no such obligation.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

Tell him you would rather he NOT invite these people and why. I'd guess he and the bride or her family were setting down making lists and he just started adding people he could think of.

No, he shouldn't invite people who make you uncomfortable unless there is a VERY good reason. Talk to him about it.

aggravated · ‎03-12-2010

You don't want him to invite his friends? Isn't that supposed to be part of his wedding?

Sorry, I see now that these are YOUR friends you had no intention of inviting - not his. Apologies.

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

@aggravated wrote:
You don't want him to invite his friends? Isn't that supposed to be part of his wedding?

I know, right?

I mean, it's the SON'S wedding, and NOT the o/p's. Sorry, but the parents DON'T get to dictate what or who is in the wedding. ALL decisions should be made by the couple getting married, and NOBODY else.

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
@aggravated wrote:
You don't want him to invite his friends? Isn't that supposed to be part of his wedding?

I know, right?

I mean, it's the SON'S wedding, and NOT the o/p's. Sorry, but the parents DON'T get to dictate what or who is in the wedding. ALL decisions should be made by the couple getting married, and NOBODY else.

I'd think it would be nice of the couple to check with their immediate family about the list. I mean after all if they can't discuss this in a polite way respective of everyone's feelings how will they handle future gatherings and holidays? To me, it seems the perfect way to get used to working these issues out in a peaceful way. No harm. Maybe there are people their family would RATHER be invited than some already on the list, and maybe there are people who were forgotten and SHOULD be on the list.

ChynnaBlue · ‎05-22-2012

@MsLomo wrote:
Interesting question. My reaction is that it's your call regarding whether your friends should be invited (unless he developed his own friendships with them, in which case it's up to him), and it's his call regarding inviting his aunts.

His wedding, his and his bride's call on every person on the list.

But I would ask him why he's inviting them. He might be inviting them for you or because he feels obligated, in which case you can tell him that he doesn't need to invite them for you and then see what he does.

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Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

@Plaid Pants2 wrote:
@aggravated wrote:
You don't want him to invite his friends? Isn't that supposed to be part of his wedding?

I know, right?

I mean, it's the SON'S wedding, and NOT the o/p's. Sorry, but the parents DON'T get to dictate what or who is in the wedding. ALL decisions should be made by the couple getting married, and NOBODY else.

Key word = his friends.

These are the poster's friends, not the son's friends.

She's not dictating to him to not invite his own friends.

chrystaltree · ‎05-10-2010

Do you know your son well...? Do you ever talk to each other? If you can answer yes to either question. You convey this information to him. "I see that Susie and Mimsey are on the guest list, I am not close to either of them now, so there is no reason to invite them to your wedding". As for family members, it's his wedding and they are his relatives too, if he wants to invite them, why would you object??? Why do you feel awkward?

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

@chrystaltree wrote:
Do you know your son well...? Do you ever talk to each other? If you can answer yes to either question. You convey this information to him. "I see that Susie and Mimsey are on the guest list, I am not close to either of them now, so there is no reason to invite them to your wedding". As for family members, it's his wedding and they are his relatives too, if he wants to invite them, why would you object??? Why do you feel awkward?

Judging from the above red-highlighted text, you do not "enjoy" the same type of family some people have. . . . Otherwise that would not be a question for you. . . LOL!

Plaid Pants2 · ‎03-14-2015

@chrystaltree wrote:
Do you know your son well...? Do you ever talk to each other? If you can answer yes to either question. You convey this information to him. "I see that Susie and Mimsey are on the guest list, I am not close to either of them now, so there is no reason to invite them to your wedding". As for family members, it's his wedding and they are his relatives too, if he wants to invite them, why would you object??? Why do you feel awkward?

Agreed. Maybe he has a closer relationship with them than Mom does.