Community Chat

[misspammie]

SilverLining, what a great info response and I thank you so very much. You know your stuff!!! I know with the overseas adoption in the Ukraine,,,yoi, it's such a 'business' nothing else said. again I thank you so much for all your wonderful information. Really thank you.

[Silver Lining]

On 6/7/2014 misspammie said:

SilverLining, what a great info response and I thank you so very much. You know your stuff!!! I know with the overseas adoption in the Ukraine,,,yoi, it's such a 'business' nothing else said. again I thank you so much for all your wonderful information. Really thank you.

You are so very welcome. Glad to be able to shed some light on a confusing process. You are a very gracious lady!

[Sabatini2]

On 6/7/2014 msmeerkat said:

There seems to be so little, if any, support for women who give up their children for adoption. And often they get a bad rap. I am sure it was a difficult decision emotionally, not to mention having to overcome the natural, hormonal instincts.

We are so adamant about a woman's right to choose...and we all now what that means...one thing. The alternative, most likely made for personal moral reasons, is at best ignored, at worst condemned. Why doesn't a woman's right to choose extend to relinquishing a child, along with her right to privacy if she chooses. As one person here stated, birth parents are just DNA material.... talk about cruel!!! Many times it was a sacrifice for the birth mother and the desire that her child has the best chance in life, one she could not give. Terminating a pregnancy seems to be acceptable...but putting your body through a pregnancy and then severing all ties with the child I'm sure is painful on levels we cannot even imagine. I'm sure it's a natural curiosity to find your natural parents... maybe the adoptee wants to know why, maybe they expect remnants of a paternal connection...and maybe without any thought of the emotional ramifications to the birth parents. Unfulfilled expectations can wreak havoc.

As far as medical history as a vital factor..I cannot help but think of the late Christopher Hitchens. He died of the same cancer his father did. That knowledge did not change his life, did not give him a way to avoid it. Often knowledge is NOT power, it's just knowledge.

Natural parents, adoptive parents...we should be grateful either way...we have life, period. Having natural parents is not a guarantee you will have the best support system., etc. Perhaps we get the parents we are suppose to have, good or bad, natural or not. the goal of life is to be the best person we can be..and every pitfall serves as a springboard to being better, kinder and wiser.

msmeerkat, thank you for your thoughtful post expressing a view not often heard.

[Love my grandkids]

I went to grade school and high school with 2 girls who were adopted (not in the same family) and both were told at a young age. They had no problem with it (I'm 66).

I have always admired women who have the courage and the guts to give up a child, for WHATEVER reason, for adoption, and hopefully give that child a life that the mom or the mom and dad could not provide, or in some cases, just did not wish to provide.

I think it's both and act of love and courage to do this.