Community Chat

[Catfancy]

I was adopted when I was three and don't remember anything before that. I was always introduced as the adopted daughter and I never felt like I really belonged anywhere. I would rather not have known!

[Surfnturf]

Why did your parents make that distinction? I don't understand.

[Surfnturf]

But to answer your question, a child should know as soon as he/she can assimilate the information. We used a story book to help us. And the fact our son is adopted is merely a technicality to us. He's our son. Period.

[NoelSeven]

Your parents were very insensitive if that was their standard way of introducing you.

But, absolutely I would want to know. I'd like to find out who my bio parents were, if only for genetic counseling.

[brii]

We have friends who adopted and they refer to them as their children. No distinction. They told their children they were adopted.

I would want to know.

[rhinovodka]

yes, I would have wanted to know. Not sure why your parents would point that out continuously. Maybe it was their weird way of letting people know "we know our child doesn't look like us" (not excusing them). I have always been of the way, you make your own family and that does not necessarily include blood relations. I am so sorry you went through that, no child should ever feel like he/she does not belong.

[sidsmom]

Being adopted is looking at life half-empty or half-full. Half-full would be....my parents CHOSE me...they wanted me so much, they went to allllll this trouble of adoption just to pick me. I don't understand all the "woe is me".

[Preds]

When some very dear friends of ours adopted their daughter many years ago we gave them a gift.

"Not flesh of my flesh,
Nor bone of my bone,
But nevertheless still my own.
Never forget for a single minute
You weren't born under my heart
But in it."

Her daughter was told (when she was old enough) that she was adopted, but was never referred to as such. She was their precious child and still is. I'm sad that your parents chose to refer to you in the way they did. Maybe they wanted you to know it somehow and didn't know an "easier" way for you to find out. I hope they gave you a wonderful, loving home and if you want to know "the rest of the story", I hope they help you and respect your decision.

[Surfnturf]

On 6/4/2014 sidsmom said:

Being adopted is looking at life half-empty or half-full. Half-full would be....my parents CHOSE me...they wanted me so much, they went to allllll this trouble of adoption just to pick me. I don't understand all the "woe is me".

Aha. You just reminded me of the title of the storybook we used. It was called, "the Chosen Baby."

[straykatz]

For genetic reasons I would want to know.