Community Chat

[NoelSeven]

I think it's something you have to live to understand. You can try to explain, but probably no one will get it if they haven't lived it. It almost has nothing to do with the other person, at least not directly.

[JustJules]

On 6/12/2014 NoelSeven said: I think it's something you have to live to understand. You can try to explain, but probably no one will get it if they haven't lived it. It almost has nothing to do with the other person, at least not directly.

I think you are right Noel. I know I have some stuff going on that I should have addressed sooner, but my dad was my priority. It is strange when you know you are not well, but people on the outside think you look great. All you can do is say thank you, and carry on.

[NoelSeven]

On 6/12/2014 Jules5280 said:

On 6/12/2014 NoelSeven said: I think it's something you have to live to understand. You can try to explain, but probably no one will get it if they haven't lived it. It almost has nothing to do with the other person, at least not directly.

I think you are right Noel. I know I have some stuff going on that I should have addressed sooner, but my dad was my priority. It is strange when you know you are not well, but people on the outside think you look great. All you can do is say thank you, and carry on.

Jules, I don't think it's something you have to worry about. It's not an uncommon reaction. Just do what you can to take good care of yourself

[hckynut]

On 6/12/2014 Jules5280 said:

First of all, let me say this is not a pity party post, but I just got home from doing some shopping and had a strange occurrence and wondered if anyone else has experienced something similar. For those that know me, they are aware that my dad died in April and I was his care provider before he got sick, and I didn't have much time to make myself a priority. The past few months have taken a toll on me physically and mentally. So anyway... I was doing some shopping and encountered someone I had not seen for a couple months... and she says to me "you've lost weight, you look great".....and I am wearing sweat pants and a ball cap and hardly any makeup, and I feel exhausted and the last thing I feel is great, but I say "thanks, I guess I have, it's the stress diet." I was not heavy to begin with, but admittedly my clothes are starting to fall off me, and not for good reason. I informed her about my dad, she had not heard, we exchanged some more pleasantries and as I was walking away she yelled out to me, "You look really great!" Gotta love having everyone in hearing range turn and look at me, and most probably thought, if that is great WTHeck did she look like before? LOL It has been difficult for me to eat or sleep, my body is not healthy by any means, yet this woman is telling me I look great?????? I just found the whole thing ironic. If she only knew the pain and suffering I have been experiencing while trying to maintain some sort of health. To be applauded for being unhealthy seems bizarre to me, because when I look in the mirror, I know what I look like healthy. It just made me wonder how others perceive us from the outside.

Hi Jules,

Interesting for sure this experience. Isn't it strange what some people say at times? sounds like this person thought she was paying you a compliment and it wasn't the best of things to say. I'd be surprised if her intentions were not good,as were the ones with me I will mention below.

For me it was just the opposite. I regularly gained and lost weigh depending on if it was hockey season or running season. For hockey I weighed maybe 15lb more than for running. When I decided to start running and training for the 5K races I decided to get very light weight to help with my speed over that distance. Now I was not only very healthy but in top physical conditioning. So what did I hear from some that saw me that hadn't seen me in awhile? "Hey, you been sick, you look so skinny".

Just wanted to share this story with you. I have tons of them about my weight any time you want to read/listen to some of them. For me once I got rid of the "young fat kid" I have been able to weigh what I think is appropriate for my sporting activities and competitions. Is it easy? Of course not but when I compete in something I want to do everything I can to be able to do my absolute best.

You gotta take care of yourself now. Whatever you are doing with a food program make sure you are getting the right fuels to help your body and mind work at its best. Stress like you've been through for so long takes its toll and in circumstances such as you have been through and are still going through are among, if not the worst, for almost anyone.

Sending you the best from Cindy/our 11 felines and myself,

[Shorty2U]

On 6/12/2014 Jules5280 said:

On 6/12/2014 NoelSeven said: Jules, I may understand what you're saying. It's a common complaint from people with a chronic illness. There it's about people who feel terrible on the inside and resent it that others don't see their pain. Does that fit?

You've got it Noel.

I get it too. And Im sorry about your dad Jules. And when my dad died my whole world changed and I couldn't sleep but a few hours a night for 2 years and had to go to counseling. So I agree with hckynut, and I know its hard when you dont feel yourself, but please take care of yourself so you don't get sick.

[JustJules]

Hi John,

Thanks so much for your response, nice to see you around, and saying hello to me. I completely understand the weight gain/loss thing for sports training, had a boyfriend that dropped weight to cycle over the summer, then bulk up again. It's all great if you do it in a healthy way... not eating or sleeping is not the healthy way. There are days I have to force myself to eat, and it might be some yogurt or a piece of fruit, or some nuts.... lets just say I am not getting a full balanced diet right now... but I am trying to work on it.

I have much respect for you, and all you have been through. You have lots of knowledge to share, but most of all, you are a kind and generous and loving person, and your compassion has no boundaries. I admire you and your lovely wife Cindy for all you do for our fuzzy friends. I hope Cindy is doing well, I keep you both in my prayers. Always good to hear from you. Happy Father's Day because you have been a father to soooooo many fur babies!

Much love to you and Cindy and your feline crew.... from me and Mia (I took some pics of her when we went to the park today, I just need to post them)

Always our best... J

[JustJules]

Thank you Shorty

[Lindsays Grandma]

I am sorry for your loss. I have no doubt the compliment was meant sincerely since the person was not aware of your father's passing. Take the compliment in good faith and don't question it.

[spud188]

How about when we are feeling and looking pretty we think and someone says 'oh my are you ok? you look so tired and worn out' geez I hate when that happens.

[dmod nj]

Jules,