Community Chat

[JustJules]

On 6/12/2014 NoelSeven said: Jules, I may understand what you're saying. It's a common complaint from people with a chronic illness. There it's about people who feel terrible on the inside and resent it that others don't see their pain. Does that fit?

You've got it Noel.

[croemer]

I agree with janna here, your friend did not know they circumstances and just noticed the weight loss...I think she was just giving a compliment not knowing a sad event had happened in your life Jules.

[sidsmom]

My sports radio guys call this....."A Bear Trap Moment"....walking along unsuspecting & SNAP!...you can't get out of that crazy bear trap. She thought it was a good thing by saying 'you lost weight, you look great'....of course, your unfortunate circumstances were the bear trap. It probably was awkward for her to try & end the conversation on an up note. Yes, ironic, for sure, but I'm sure she probably didn't mean any ill-will. Girlie...you better take care of yourself, K?

[NoelSeven]

On 6/12/2014 Jules5280 said:

On 6/12/2014 VanSleepy said: She doesn't know if you are healthy or not. She noticed that you lost weight and mentioned it. You're getting upset that someone tried to compliment you.

Like my last sentence stated, it makes me wonder how others perceive us. Some think we look great on the outside while we are crumbling within...

There it is!

[Jannabelle]

On 6/12/2014 NoelSeven said: Jules, I may understand what you're saying. It's a common complaint from people with a chronic illness. There it's about people who feel terrible on the inside and resent it that others don't see their pain. Does that fit?

People can only see the outside, and sometimes if people sense that one is down, they may try to find a way to lift them up....and it may not be what that person needs to hear, but isn't it better than being told how sickly one looks?

I can understand why it would feel weird to be told you look great when you feel crummy and not attractive, I just think others see us different than what we see our selves.

[JustJules]

On 6/12/2014 sylviahomeatlast said: Jules---I was in the hospital for 4 1/2 months---6 weeks later I was back again----fast forward 2 years---I lost 60 pounds and the same remarks were said to me---I'm still very small ---I learned to say when rudely questioned: how much do you weigh? what size do you wear? and the best---are you trying to lose weight?------I say thanks for asking----I understand you---Jules. love 'ya

Thanks Sylvia.... love ya back. Keep holding down the 5280 for me, I'll make it back someday.

[croemer]

On 6/12/2014 Jules5280 said:

On 6/12/2014 NoelSeven said: Jules, I may understand what you're saying. It's a common complaint from people with a chronic illness. There it's about people who feel terrible on the inside and resent it that others don't see their pain. Does that fit?

You've got it Noel.

Well said by Noel.

[NoelSeven]

On 6/12/2014 Jules5280 said:

On 6/12/2014 NoelSeven said: Jules, I may understand what you're saying. It's a common complaint from people with a chronic illness. There it's about people who feel terrible on the inside and resent it that others don't see their pain. Does that fit?

You've got it Noel.

I want you to know I get it completely. Every little nuance

[NoelSeven]

On 6/12/2014 Jannabelle said:

On 6/12/2014 NoelSeven said: Jules, I may understand what you're saying. It's a common complaint from people with a chronic illness. There it's about people who feel terrible on the inside and resent it that others don't see their pain. Does that fit?

People can only see the outside, and sometimes if people sense that one is down, they may try to find a way to lift them up....and it may not be what that person needs to hear, but isn't it better than being told how sickly one looks?

I can understand why it would feel weird to be told you look great when you feel crummy and not attractive, I just think others see us different than what we see our selves.

It's not about any of that.

[JustJules]

On 6/12/2014 sidsmom said:

My sports radio guys call this....."A Bear Trap Moment"....walking along unsuspecting & SNAP!...you can't get out of that crazy bear trap. She thought it was a good thing by saying 'you lost weight, you look great'....of course, your unfortunate circumstances were the bear trap. It probably was awkward for her to try & end the conversation on an up note. Yes, ironic, for sure, but I'm sure she probably didn't mean any ill-will. Girlie...you better take care of yourself, K?

Of course I know she didn't mean any ill will, and it was probably awkward for her when I told her my dad had died. I mean, a compliment is a compliment... and I am flattered that she thought I looked great, even if I didn't feel it or believe it. Again, perhaps I didn't explain it well enough in my OP but I just wondered if anyone else has felt that experience of being told they look their best when they feel their worst? I mean, of course she could have totally been blowing smoke up my butt too... but if even part of it was true, it was still an improvement on how I have been feeling. And yes, I know sidsmom, I need to take care of myself because I am responsible for this adorable and crazy furbaby named Mia.