Community Chat

[JustJules]

First of all, let me say this is not a pity party post, but I just got home from doing some shopping and had a strange occurrence and wondered if anyone else has experienced something similar. For those that know me, they are aware that my dad died in April and I was his care provider before he got sick, and I didn't have much time to make myself a priority. The past few months have taken a toll on me physically and mentally. So anyway... I was doing some shopping and encountered someone I had not seen for a couple months... and she says to me "you've lost weight, you look great".....and I am wearing sweat pants and a ball cap and hardly any makeup, and I feel exhausted and the last thing I feel is great, but I say "thanks, I guess I have, it's the stress diet." I was not heavy to begin with, but admittedly my clothes are starting to fall off me, and not for good reason. I informed her about my dad, she had not heard, we exchanged some more pleasantries and as I was walking away she yelled out to me, "You look really great!" Gotta love having everyone in hearing range turn and look at me, and most probably thought, if that is great WTHeck did she look like before? LOL It has been difficult for me to eat or sleep, my body is not healthy by any means, yet this woman is telling me I look great?????? I just found the whole thing ironic. If she only knew the pain and suffering I have been experiencing while trying to maintain some sort of health. To be applauded for being unhealthy seems bizarre to me, because when I look in the mirror, I know what I look like healthy. It just made me wonder how others perceive us from the outside.

[Jannabelle]

Sounds like she was being kind and wanted to encourage you, I don't think she thought the way you did........,,,most women want to hear that they look good...sometimes people have good intentions.

[tansy]

My take is the same as Jannabelle's. It may have come awkward but was well intentioned.

[Cakers1]

nm

[september]

I'm sorry for all you've been through, but maybe you look better than you think you do. To this acquaintance, you might have looked slim, casual, maybe you even looked like you just came from a workout at the gym, based on how you were dressed.

I'd take it as a compliment.

[Lila Belle]

I agree with Jannabelle and tansy.

[VanSleepy]

She doesn't know if you are healthy or not. She noticed that you lost weight and mentioned it. You're getting upset that someone tried to compliment you.

[sylviahomeatlast]

Jules---I was in the hospital for 4 1/2 months---6 weeks later I was back again----fast forward 2 years---I lost 60 pounds and the same remarks were said to me---I'm still very small ---I learned to say when rudely questioned: how much do you weigh? what size do you wear? and the best---are you trying to lose weight?------I say thanks for asking----I understand you---Jules. love 'ya

[JustJules]

On 6/12/2014 VanSleepy said: She doesn't know if you are healthy or not. She noticed that you lost weight and mentioned it. You're getting upset that someone tried to compliment you.

No VanSleepy, I am not getting upset that someone complimented me, that was not my point at all. Like my last sentence stated, it makes me wonder how others perceive us. Some think we look great on the outside while we are crumbling within, and on the other end of the spectrum some are given no credit when they are the strongest. I'm sorry you missed my point. I did appreciate her compliment for sure, it made my day.

[NoelSeven]

Jules, I may understand what you're saying. It's a common complaint from people with a chronic illness. There it's about people who feel terrible on the inside and resent it that others don't see their pain. Does that fit?