Community Chat

[AuberriJean]

I can't imagine feeling good about yourself if you use other people like boardgame pieces, pawns in a game so to speak  and manipulating them. But then anybody who creates these fictions has some kind of problems to start with.

[handygal2]

I've always suspected that some of the posters/lurkers here are men posing as women, just for the heck of it. Now, more than ever, l believe that's true...

[Moonchilde]

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@chickenbutt wrote:

It IS an interesting subject!

I am not a very (times a million) trusting person.  Then, when I started playing online I learned VERY quickly that there is a lot of underhanded stuff going on, even in a place as benign as a board like this.

I've heard the sob-stories by people trying to gain something from it and it turns out it was all fake and just somebody wanting to rip off others.

Anyway, I guess the moral of the story is still - Ya just can't trust humans!

Now, before some thin-skinned person decides I'm talking about them - I'm NOT.  There are humans that I do trust.   I'm just not very impressed, over all, as a species.    There are more reasons that most people may ever understand for this, so no need to judge me.    

I wasn't born untrusting.  In fact, I once asked my father 'was I a bad kid?'.  He told me (and I knew he would be honest because I asked him to honestly tell me what kind of little kid I was) that I was very sweet, kind, OPEN (that didn't last long), caring, and always wanted to help everybody.

Many years of horror changed all that and so I say, as an over-all and without consideration for those whose trust is actually earned, you just have to be careful out there in human-land - online, or off.  

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Perfectly stated. I have never felt there was a badge of honor for being gullible and believing everyone and everything, online or off. If someone says it, it MUST be completely true - even if you only "know" them online. Um...no.

[Moonchilde]

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@Elvita wrote:

I think people who have little or no control over their real life are the ones likely to do it. It is an issue of control.

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ITA.

[Moonchilde]

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@AuberriJean wrote:

I can't imagine feeling good about yourself if you use other people like boardgame pieces, pawns in a game so to speak  and manipulating them. But then anybody who creates these fictions has some kind of problems to start with.

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The creepy part (it's not sad, it's creepy) is, they clearly feel FABULOUS when they're getting away with it and when they're on a roll. They can't stay away, and the story will continue fast & furious. The more successful ones, however, have learned to bide their time so as not to appear too eager.

[chickenbutt]

Agree with Moonchilde.   The ones I've seen over the years start the 'grooming' very calmly and quietly.  They participate regularly but don't spectacalize themselves at all.  They always appear very caring and converse with others more and more.  Then, after they've 'made friends' and gained a good amount of trust as a community member, the sad stories start.  

Suddenly there is this terribly hardship - anyway, it goes on and on until some kind person starts a fund (back then it was on Paypal or something) and people feel good about themselves by 'helping'.

The thing is that it always ends up coming to the surface - sometimes before people are victimized and sometimes after - but if you pay attention and try to not let emotions be the forefront in your thoughts and decision-making you'll see the flaws in the plan.

I've only been online since 1999 (first thing I had was WebTV) but I've seen it probably a good dozen times.   Being not very trusting, though, I start seeing things that don't add up pretty quickly.   Somebody like my husband, however, is so trusting that they don't see any of it for what it is.

But it's pretty much always the same - the grooming, gaining trust in the community, then the sad story.

[kdgn]

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@nun ya wrote:

My aunt just got a long love letter and was swooning. It was a form letter from some male scammer site. I'm not sure of what info she gave him but her bank account was drained 2 weeks later.

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If you are local to your aunt, I strongly advise that you contact the local police department. Theft and fraud. They may not be able to get her money back but they may be able to prevent others from losing theirs. Since it took place over the internet, other agencies may also get involved. 

Law enforcement is in tune and will do their best to investigate. If the scammers used fraudulent means to gain her information-you get the idea.

[Noel7]

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@handygal2 wrote:

I've always suspected that some of the posters/lurkers here are men posing as women, just for the heck of it. Now, more than ever, l believe that's true...

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So do I, especially if a poster continually shows disdain for women and doesn't understand the feelings of women who have been violated.

[AuberriJean]

@chickenbutt @Moonchilde

If those people put the same time and creativity and craftiness into earning money or getting attention in a valid honest way they could be great successes legitimately. 

[chickenbutt]

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Noel7 wrote:

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handygal wrote:

I've always suspected that some of the posters/lurkers here are men posing as women, just for the heck of it. Now, more than ever, l believe that's true...

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So do I, especially if a poster continually shows disdain for women and doesn't understand the feelings of women who have been violated.

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Good point, Handy and Noel!   That would explain a lot in some cases.