Any Hair Colorists on the Forum? I Need Help!

Quinny · ‎03-09-2010

I am 58 years old and my stylist says my hair is probably 75% gray. It is very stubborn gray hair, my stylist had to try 4 different formulas to find one that would cover my gray. The color she has used for the past few years is a dark mocha.

As I am maturing, my skintone is getting more pale than it once was. My close friends, my Mother, my sisters and my husband tell me my hair looks too dark, I feel like it is too dark.

My hair stylist has been doing my hair for almost 27 years! I love her and I am constantly stopped by women asking me who cuts my hair. Yes, she is that good.

I talked to her about my hair color and she tells me we cannot lighten it. I wear my hair in a pixie cut, it is very dry and coarse. She said in order to make my hair lighter, we would have to lift the current color from my hair (bleach it, I guess?) and then put a lighter color on. She says as dry and coarse as my hair is, if we went through that process, my hair would be a MESS in so far as the condition of it is concerned.

Have any of you ever experienced this problem? Are there any hair colorists out there who can tell me if that is the ONLY way to get my hair lighter?

I'm desperate, do any of you, "my best beauty consultants" have any suggestions at all?

I cannot go on with this DARK hair. It is such a contrast to my light to medium skintone and blue eyes, I am now having trouble finding makeup shades that will try to balance the high contrast and having NO LUCK with it at all.

PLEASE! Anything you can tell me, I would be most grateful for. Thank you very much!

Azcowgirl · ‎04-10-2012

Would you consider some soft highlights ? That might be just enough to work perfectly with your skin tone depending on if you wanted to go cooler or warmer ?

good luck, I know what you mean though, I finally got to that point too, and I went for a big change and went blonde!

Nataliesgramma · ‎03-28-2015

I would go the highlight route....My hairdresser uses 3 different shades in my hair.....

ID2 · ‎06-25-2012

I'm like you OP. I've been through several colors this past year and have recently settled on black. Yes black. I love my dark hair against my skin. You sound lovely with your pale skin and blue eyes with dark hair! I love that look. I wear my hair in a pixie also but spikey on top. If you really don't like your dark color I would wait a while before going in to get it colored again, let the existing color kind-of wash out (when it settles in after coming home from getting it colored). And then go for a lighter color. My stylist has done many colors on my hair without issues. Good luck.

"Pure Michigan"

Boehm Collector · ‎03-09-2010

@ID2 wrote:
I'm like you OP. I've been through several colors this past year and have recently settled on black. Yes black. I love my dark hair against my skin. You sound lovely with your pale skin and blue eyes with dark hair! I love that look. I wear my hair in a pixie also but spikey on top. If you really don't like your dark color I would wait a while before going in to get it colored again, let the existing color kind-of wash out (when it settles in after coming home from getting it colored). And then go for a lighter color. My stylist has done many colors on my hair without issues. Good luck.

I agree with you @ID2. I was able to go from a medium brown to a light brown.

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

@Quinny wrote:
I am 58 years old and my stylist says my hair is probably 75% gray. It is very stubborn gray hair, my stylist had to try 4 different formulas to find one that would cover my gray. The color she has used for the past few years is a dark mocha.
As I am maturing, my skintone is getting more pale than it once was. My close friends, my Mother, my sisters and my husband tell me my hair looks too dark, I feel like it is too dark.
My hair stylist has been doing my hair for almost 27 years! I love her and I am constantly stopped by women asking me who cuts my hair. Yes, she is that good.
I talked to her about my hair color and she tells me we cannot lighten it. I wear my hair in a pixie cut, it is very dry and coarse. She said in order to make my hair lighter, we would have to lift the current color from my hair (bleach it, I guess?) and then put a lighter color on. She says as dry and coarse as my hair is, if we went through that process, my hair would be a MESS in so far as the condition of it is concerned.

Have any of you ever experienced this problem? Are there any hair colorists out there who can tell me if that is the ONLY way to get my hair lighter?
I'm desperate, do any of you, "my best beauty consultants" have any suggestions at all?
I cannot go on with this DARK hair. It is such a contrast to my light to medium skintone and blue eyes, I am now having trouble finding makeup shades that will try to balance the high contrast and having NO LUCK with it at all.
PLEASE! Anything you can tell me, I would be most grateful for. Thank you very much!

I think you should go and get a consultation with someone who specializes in color. sounds as though your stylist is not really up to date even though she is great at cutting.

Just try stopping in at different hair places and asking

violann · ‎03-10-2010

As often as you read a different set of "rules" (WHOSE rules, by the way?), you'll find exceptions.

If you have access to a wig store, it really MAY be helpful to try some on in various colors.

AND, you may be more comfortable with a specific color by wearing your hair in a different style.

AND, you may find that YOU are so happy with a certain look that YOU decide to wear your hair the way YOU like it and not worry about what ANYONE ELSE says or thinks.

AND, if you do highlights or low lights, you may find that there's freedom in not having to be redone as often as when you're using a more monochromatic look.

A pixie cut is very forgiving for a number of reasons, and if you think about it, gives you much more opportunity to experiment a little than if you were wearing your hair even a little longer.

I would definitely be VERY reluctant to bleach "problem" hair too.

I'm not in either camp on this question, but have you considered growing out the gray? You COULD have exquisitely silver or steel or white gold under your years of dye.

OR, like me, you could have hair the color of old newspaper soaked with puppy p**. Not a look I'd recommend!

jackthebear · ‎03-11-2010

@Quinny wrote:
I am 58 years old and my stylist says my hair is probably 75% gray. It is very stubborn gray hair, my stylist had to try 4 different formulas to find one that would cover my gray. The color she has used for the past few years is a dark mocha.
As I am maturing, my skintone is getting more pale than it once was. My close friends, my Mother, my sisters and my husband tell me my hair looks too dark, I feel like it is too dark.
My hair stylist has been doing my hair for almost 27 years! I love her and I am constantly stopped by women asking me who cuts my hair. Yes, she is that good.
I talked to her about my hair color and she tells me we cannot lighten it. I wear my hair in a pixie cut, it is very dry and coarse. She said in order to make my hair lighter, we would have to lift the current color from my hair (bleach it, I guess?) and then put a lighter color on. She says as dry and coarse as my hair is, if we went through that process, my hair would be a MESS in so far as the condition of it is concerned.

Have any of you ever experienced this problem? Are there any hair colorists out there who can tell me if that is the ONLY way to get my hair lighter?
I'm desperate, do any of you, "my best beauty consultants" have any suggestions at all?
I cannot go on with this DARK hair. It is such a contrast to my light to medium skintone and blue eyes, I am now having trouble finding makeup shades that will try to balance the high contrast and having NO LUCK with it at all.
PLEASE! Anything you can tell me, I would be most grateful for. Thank you very much!

does she know how TO do highlights?

Tigriss · ‎03-12-2010

1. You seriously need to find a better shampoo and conditioner and do a weekly deep moisture treatment. Try Shea Moisture at Target, WalGreens, CVS, Walmart. It is usually in the ethnic hair section, but it is excellent for all hair types. I have super fine, super thick hair and use their thickening shampoo to give my hair all day volume. Their products are free of all those nasty things and often are on BOGO 50% at Walgreens, so you can get 2 for around $15. They also smell devine! I use their soaps, lotions, and body wash/bubble bath.

2. Highlights are the way for you to lighten your hair, so that it grows out enough to start a shade lighter at the root/fill in, then blend with highlights. BUT remember, you stylist knows your hair. You can go somewhere else, and they will do what you want, but you will also suffer from it.

Ms X · ‎09-13-2012

I'm not a hairdresser, but why can't she lighten your hair one shade each time she colors it and get you to a different color within a year or less? Is it that problematic to get your hair just a bit lighter? I'd think it would require less harmful lifting chemicals than a more drastic color change. Doesn't hair color fade within a few months? Therefore, if she's currently using, say, 3N, couldn't she put 4N in your hair once or twice so that you'd end up with 4N? Then she could do that again to bring you lighter. I don't know if this is possible, but it seems like it should work.

Alternatively, could she use a semi-permanent on the ends after just applying a permanent color to your roots? This way, the darker color on the ends could be even more easily lifted over time. Redken Shades EQ is a great semi-permanent color that my hairdresser uses in her salon. You can also get it on Amazon.