Re: Living next door to an abusive neighbor

helping1 · ‎07-18-2010

@ScrapHappy I was just going to post a similar message about "if you see something, say something" (to the authorities), but you used a phrase just like that with "if you hear something, say something."

Unfortunately, too many people live by the term "NIMBY" ("not in my back yard") and don't always get involved when necessary.

If there is yelling in the home (especially with children present and/or children living in the residence), then calling the local police department seems like a good and prudent next step. No one really knows if the yelling or shouting may escalate to a physical altercation and/or the emotional damage from that. I agree with others to call CPS, too, if minor children (under 18) may be in the home.

The Childhelp site has a toll-free 24/7 helpline for those who suspect child/teen abuse or neglect.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline site has a toll-free 24/7 helpline and related resources, especially for those in an abusive situation with an intimate partner.

Lipstickdiva · ‎03-10-2010

@Helen Bach wrote:
Things did escalate, and she kicked him out. He got arrested for trying to strangle the wife. He posted bail and came back with a gun and threatened to kill the whole family. What he did was shot his 3 year old in the head.
He was arrested again, this time hopefully for a long time, and the 3 year old is in ICU. The other boy is 6 years old, witnessed the whole thing and apparently had to beg for his own life. It is a tragic tale of domestic violence, poverty and ignorance and probably some mental issues. I feel terrible for that family but I hope they move someplace safe

@Helen Bach , I'm very confused. This escalation/altercation/shooting happened a couple of weeks ago. Those were your neighbors you started this thread about this past Saturday?

Why would you be asking what you should do if this happened?

Clearly I'm missing something.

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@helping1 wrote:
@ScrapHappy I was just going to post a similar message about "if you see something, say something" (to the authorities), but you used a phrase just like that with "if you hear something, say something."

Unfortunately, too many people live by the term "NIMBY" ("not in my back yard") and don't always get involved when necessary.

If there is yelling in the home (especially with children present and/or children living in the residence), then calling the local police department seems like a good and prudent next step. No one really knows if the yelling or shouting may escalate to a physical altercation and/or the emotional damage from that. I agree with others to call CPS, too, if minor children (under 18) may be in the home.

The Childhelp site has a toll-free 24/7 helpline for those who suspect child/teen abuse or neglect.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline site has a toll-free 24/7 helpline and related resources, especially for those in an abusive situation with an intimate partner.

@helping1, I'm afraid that if this were the yardstick for calling the police, they would be swamped.

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Helen Bach · ‎03-12-2010

The 3 year old has gotten out of ICU thankfully, but is still healing at the hospital. I was asking because I felt confused about how much to get involved, who to call and what would you friends do if it was your neighbors?

Many of you have been victims of domestic violence and have some answers as to where to turn for help. I hope that family gets the help it so needs

shoesnbags · ‎03-10-2010

@Helen Bach wrote:
The 3 year old has gotten out of ICU thankfully, but is still healing at the hospital. I was asking because I felt confused about how much to get involved, who to call and what would you friends do if it was your neighbors?

Many of you have been victims of domestic violence and have some answers as to where to turn for help. I hope that family gets the help it so needs

@Helen Bach

I'm a little confused, too. So your neighbor who you asked about 4 days ago has since shot his 3 year old?

"Breathe in, breathe out, move on." Jimmy Buffett

Lucky Charm · ‎03-09-2010

@Helen Bach wrote:
The 3 year old has gotten out of ICU thankfully, but is still healing at the hospital. I was asking because I felt confused about how much to get involved, who to call and what would you friends do if it was your neighbors?

Many of you have been victims of domestic violence and have some answers as to where to turn for help. I hope that family gets the help it so needs

I hope you now understand the need to step up for the sake of especially children.

I remember contacting the police when a small child had bruises all over his body. He said he was pushed into a dresser. It was pretty bad. I'd never laid eyes on him before as I was visiting someone in their apartment.

Out of caution, I reported it. I have no regrets. If I was wrong and there was no abuse, then everything would've checked out. But if there was, well, I just couldn't bear to take that chance.

I was 18 years old.

hyacinth003 · ‎03-12-2010

As a general rule, most towns have noise ordinances. So someone could start with a complaint about that violation. They can be before 7am and after 11pm a lot.

I called the police once when construction started before 5am behind my house. It was waking me up, and worse, my child! The workers got started at daybreak. I also had an issue with the garbage company doing the same thing. It was very noisy and waking up my child. BOTH of those issues were resolved with the complaint.

I lost a very aggravating issue. My house was about a driveway between our nearest neighbor. My neighbor married a jerk (in my never humble opinion) and we went from having a friendly relationship to pure contempt! He had modified his motorcycle to where it sounded like you were next to a jet runway. He would rev it up very early in the morning. Same guy got into a tree trimming business. He had a big truck with a chipper/shredder attatched to the back end. It literally took up our whole front property where he liked to park it. He didn't park it in front of their house. When we went to sell our house (which all this was part of), he wouldn't move it even when we asked and told him why. The town said it was legal. Motorcycle was against noise rules, but truck was A-OK.

Amazing how inconsiderate some people can be. But if people are screaming at certain hours, you can start with a noise complaint. Then the police can get eyes on the people.

Hyacinth

songbird · ‎03-21-2010

Only nasty neighbors were the ones that finally moved. The guy divorced his wife. He drove a truck and on the side, drug dealing. Lines of people going to his house. That was the time my brother (who happened to be at my house) found a rolled up $100 dollar bill in the front gutter. He thought it was a dollar bill & stuck it in his pocket and forgot about it. Till he was undressing for bed.