Wellness

[hckynut]

Do I think it is OK? I certainly do! I I don't drink alcohol and we've had people stay with us that do, and I have never even thought of that as being an issue.

[misschristy]

I think you are out of line to expect guests not to drink just because you don't. Two beers is not a lot. An entire bottle of wine probably is. They do say that if you must drink every day, you are an alcoholic. I agree with the other poster who said now is not the time to press him.

I'm reading more into this though. Is it that you don't want anyone to drink at all in your home just because you don't? My husband doesn't drink at all and I drink just a little socially - a few glasses of wine at a get together. I would never expect my guests not to drink, unless they were getting plastered.

[KarenQVC]

OP--I think he should go to the VA for counseling for his life adjustment issues. At the top of the list would be to get a job. They might be able to help him with that. Even if he got a low paying job, he could look for a little place in low-income subsidized housing. For many reasons, I don't think he will give up the booze yet.

[kahootz]

He is staying with YOU. You have every right to think he should honor your rules! Now, if I were a guest at someone's home I may ask if they mind if I have a glass of wine (if it was bought on my dime) - but if they say it would bother them I absolutely would NOT drink anything. You are in a tough predicament, so good luck to you.

[Crisso]

On 3/14/2015 KarenQVC said:

OP--I think he should go to the VA for counseling for his life adjustment issues. At the top of the list would be to get a job. They might be able to help him with that. Even if he got a low paying job, he could look for a little place in low-income subsidized housing. For many reasons, I don't think he will give up the booze yet.

I think it is not reasonable to think he can take on a job as a solution. You are talking about a person without the issues this man has who finds himself without resources. Given what he has gone through - and what appears he continues to struggle with, hence why he sought his sister - the last thing that he needs at this time is a job. Do you really think that a new employer will be so understanding as to help? He may end up failing at this job at this point in his life and risking a bad referral for the next - which would have him fall back even more! He needs some real support BEFORE he attempts another job. If the OP cannot be that support, I can entirely understand, but expecting him to be in a position to hold down a job (if he is really down and out and/or having alcohol problems) is unrealistic.

Note: I have found that family is not always the best place to be when one is hurting. Parents may love you unconditionally, but often siblings do not....

[chrystaltree]

You knew he was a drinker when you invited him, if you didn't want him to drink in your house, that is when you should have told him. Before thr visit. Act line an adult. It's your home, if his drinking disturbs you, tell him and request that he stop drinking in your home. If he truly is an alcoholic, he won't be able to do that. Addicts can't just stop. His only option will be to leave. You might lose a brother or perhaps he'll face his drinking problem. If he even has a drinking, people do drink. Sometimes a lot. That doesn't mean they are alcoholics or have a problem. Are you sure his drinking is what's really bothering you?

[Desertdi]

I have visited some homes that had ""No Smoking"" signs. Maybe you could post ""Alcohol Free Environment"" signs..........

[Cookie777]

On 3/14/2015 baker said:

Did you know your brother was a drinker before you offered to take him in, if you did and don't like drinking alcohol in your home that should have be discussed before he moved in. It sounds like your brother does not respect you, I would ask him to leave if he can't follow the house rules.

my brother was having health problems before he came caused by his drinking, and that is why I offered my home so he could go to the veterans hospital in LA Jolla . he had quit drinking because of it, then the Dr said he was OK, he started drinking again ! He is a sweet guy, and he wanted to help out, so I let him take over cooking dinner, he always drinks when he cooks. He loves to cook. He cooks for an army! I kept telling him he is making to much food! What finally did it was when he threw all the left over down the garbage disposal and clogged the sink! It probably sounds like no big deal but I couldn't take it anymore. I told him I didn't want him to cook anymore if he is drinking. So that is why I'm asking you all for advise. I feel bad.

[Crisso]

If I may, can I ask if there is some place else he can stay? All in all this does not sound like it is working out for either of you. This appears to be much bigger than your original post about a sibling drinking in your alcohol-free home.

[Pamula]

Nope, no way... Family should respect your home when staying with you.