Wellness

[blackhole99]

Did you know your brother was a drinker before you offered to take him in, if you did and don't like drinking alcohol in your home that should have be discussed before he moved in. It sounds like your brother does not respect you, I would ask him to leave if he can't follow the house rules.

[adelle38]

I don't see anything wrong with your brother drinking in your house. On the other hand, if his behavior is bothering you whether or not it's because of alcohol, you should ask him to leave. Have you always gotten along? I don't see how making judgment about his drinking or whether he's an alcoholic is helpful. If he's acting in a way that disrupts your life, tell him he needs to find other living arrangements.

[ritasNo1Fan]

If he is obnoxious, say "no booze". If he is OK, sure. Only your brother knows if he is alcoholic. Nagging is useless. And, remember, it does not matter how much you drink, it's what drinking does to you.

[kcladyz]

I am sorry but 2 beers a day is not a drinking problem. 2 beers is normal. Now if it was a whole 6 pack a day or more then i would think it is bad. I think you are over reacting by leaps and bounds but again it is your house so you can always ask him to go to a bar or move

[HandJive]

On 3/14/2015 Persephonel said: I don't drink, I have nothing against anyone who does, I just don't do it. My brother is staying with me for awhile to get his life in order. I'm pretty sure he is an alcoholic, because he can't seem to stop and gets upset with me because I don't like him drinking. He drinks either a bottle of wine, or two large size beers a night. He says there is nothing wrong with it and thinks It would do me good to start drinking! I think because it is my house and I don't want him to drink he should respect my feelings. Am I wrong? Do you have an opinion? TIA

It's your way or the highway...

[Moonchilde]

The OP is "pretty sure he's an alcoholic" but appears to base that on her asking him to stop drinking (?) and him probably being annoyed at that and refusing. There are people who drink in moderation (and moderation is not limited to one drink, beer, glass of wine, etc.) either every day or several times a week who do not get drunk.

I think that the families of alcoholics often see others as potential alcoholics out of fear and/or AA type indoctrination. One drink is too many for *anyone*, not just alcoholics. But that isn't true. Everyone who enjoys drinking and has more than one drink at a time isn't an alcoholic.

The OP's brother may be an alcoholic, but I don't read that from what she has said. The reasons she has stated so far do not sound like it to me.

[Cookie777]

My brother has been through a lot, his son died of leukemia several years ago , and his marriage fell apart and he just went through a divorce, he was on antidepressants and was stopped for a break light, but had been drinking , so they threw him in jail! Then he could not find anyone who would hire him because of his record ( he was a school teacher) now he is getting his real estate license . I'm thinking he does need to start seeing a therapist. Thanks everyone.

[Crisso]

If the OP or a live- in family member has had problems with drinking, then I most certainly think that her brother cannot stay, if for no other reason than respect for those who have taken him in to help him out.

[adelle38]

If he's willing to see a therapist, it would be helpful. As others have said, don't nag him about the drinking. Whether he's an alcoholic or not, nagging won't get him to stop. Meanwhile, you might try going to an Alanon meeting. It would give you some support and perhaps help you cope with the situation.

[PenneyT]

On 3/14/2015 Persephonel said: My brother has been through a lot, his son died of leukemia several years ago , and his marriage fell apart and he just went through a divorce, he was on antidepressants and was stopped for a break light, but had been drinking , so they threw him in jail! Then he could not find anyone who would hire him because of his record ( he was a school teacher) now he is getting his real estate license . I'm thinking he does need to start seeing a therapist. Thanks everyone.

I'm sorry that your brother has had such sorrow, and I'm sorry that you lost your nephew, his son. Please be careful, he's had a DUI and still is drinking, please encourage him to get help, and be sure that you are not in a position to be liable if he drinks and drives again, such as after any get-togethers, etc. Take care.