Wellness

[DJP]

If he is drinking that much he will not get his life in order. And telling you to drink should tell you that his drinking is a real problem. He should go to AA or Rehab ASAP.

[september]

How are you "pretty sure he is an alcoholic"?

Some people will put anyone who is a social drinker into this category. I know, because I have non-drinkers in my family (Mormons)

[05gage25]

If he was falling down drunk, a mean drunk, or inappropriate (especially if there are very young children around) I would have real concerns. Otherwise, I agree with yorkieonmypillow. He is your brother...he needs your support. I wish my brother was still around. He died four years ago at the age of 57. He had his share of problems, but I was always there for him. So glad I was.

[Luvtoshopathome]

On 3/14/2015 brewhaha said:

Alcohol is fine. Cigarettes are not.

Did you ever know anyone who died of ciihrosis of the liver? Alcohol in excess is not fine.

[Linds7]

On 3/14/2015 luvtoshopathome said:

On 3/14/2015 brewhaha said:

Alcohol is fine. Cigarettes are not.

Did you ever know anyone who died of ciihrosis of the liver? Alcohol in excess is not fine.

I believe brewhaha meant that alcohol is fine at her (or his) house, cigarettes are not. Same goes for me.

[Moonchilde]

Your OP is sending mixed messages. You say that you have nothing against those who drink, though you do not. You do not say that you have told your brother you do not want him to drink in your home. If you have not told him this, I can see why he would be annoyed when he does drink, and you make comments about how much he's drinking.

If you think he's an alcoholic based on him drinking 2 beers a night or up to a bottle of wine over several hours, you're most likely wrong. When people don't drink, they often assume any alcohol more than one small serving is "too much" or enough to make someone "drunk", with drunk being anything other than stone cold sober. If he's not driving anywhere after drinking and he's not passing out drunk or abusing you, he's just a normal person who enjoys their alcohol.

I have found over the years that most often, those who say they "don't mind", actually do mind, and are passing judgment even if they aren't conscious of it.

[Luvtoshopathome]

On 3/14/2015 MsTrixi said:

On 3/14/2015 luvtoshopathome said:

On 3/14/2015 brewhaha said:

Alcohol is fine. Cigarettes are not.

Did you ever know anyone who died of ciihrosis of the liver? Alcohol in excess is not fine.

I believe brewhaha meant that alcohol is fine at her (or his) house, cigarettes are not. Same goes for me.

In that case I agree, as long as it's not excessive that they can't drive home but definitely no cigarettes in my house either. My friends or family who smoke go outside to smoke.

[DJP]

On 3/14/2015 05gage25 said:

If he was falling down drunk, a mean drunk, or inappropriate (especially if there are very young children around) I would have real concerns. Otherwise, I agree with yorkieonmypillow. He is your brother...he needs your support. I wish my brother was still around. He died four years ago at the age of 57. He had his share of problems, but I was always there for him. So glad I was.

No one has to be falling down drunk to be an alcoholic. I speak from experience. Most of my family members are or were alcoholics. Most were functional. Alcoholism is progressive. That is why I hope he gets help now before it gets worse. My prayers are with the OP and her brother.

[Carmie]

On 3/14/2015 05gage25 said:

If he was falling down drunk, a mean drunk, or inappropriate (especially if there are very young children around) I would have real concerns. Otherwise, I agree with yorkieonmypillow. He is your brother...he needs your support. I wish my brother was still around. He died four years ago at the age of 57. He had his share of problems, but I was always there for him. So glad I was.

If you ever lived with or were close with an alcoholic you would know that many of them never get mean, never appear to be drunk or fall down or act inappropriately.

They need alcohol daily to appear and be normal. If they don't have the alcohol, they will experience DT's and alcohol withdrawal.

It is a disease, but can be overcome, only if someone wants to overcome it. If they have no means of supporting themselves due to job loss,or they spend all of their money on drinks, they can cause you many problems. They need money to support their habit. No different than a heroin addict. I wouldn't want either in my home unless they were open to getting help.

[Cookie06]

I always try to make anyone that comes to my home or is staying with me feel as comfortable as possible. That being said, if it bothers you so much that your brother drinks, you knew he drank when you let him come to stay, as you said you think he might be an alcoholic, then why let him stay? I wouldn't consider someone who drinks a bottle of wine or two beers a night an alcoholic. If he is under alot of stress, it won't help if you are complaining to him about having a drink or two. All of that being said, it is your house, and if it is that important to you for someone not to drink, then maybe he should go stay elsewhere?