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Valued Contributor
Posts: 626
Registered: ‎03-17-2010

Re: WhWhat it's like to live with someone with early stages of dementia

I am so sorry to hear this, 151949. I have a family member who is very dear to me who has dementia. You have my deepest sympathy, it is not an easy road.  The nursing home is our last stop, this is after over a decade of home care and a year in an assisted living place just for dementia. It's just dreadful. My best advice is to take very good care of yourself and don't feel guilty about it. God bless you, I will keep you and your DH in my prayers.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,559
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: WhWhat it's like to live with someone with early stages of dementia


@goldensrbest wrote:

Do you know for sure he has dementia?


Can't find an answer to this, in the seven or s ages of responses.

 

WAS DH diagnosed as having dementia by a geriatric medical specialist??

 

The word dementia can be applied very casually by both loved ones and very good doctors who are not fully trained in diagnosis and reasons for this symptom.

 

We lost a very dear relative who had Normal Pressure Hydrocephalous.

 

If diagnosed and treated, this condition can be managed, sometimes delayi g the progression of symptoms. In her case, our relative had been poked and prodded so much before the CORRECT diagnosis that she refused treatment (in her case, a shunt) .

 

A good diagnosis is critical to finding what if anything can be done to help.

QVC Customer Care
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Registered: ‎06-14-2015

Re: WhWhat it's like to live with someone with early stages of dementia

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,746
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: WhWhat it's like to live with someone with early stages of dementia


@63Chev63 wrote:

I have worked with the disabled for many years.  The mind is a wonder and this person is locked in it one day this small issue will bring tears to your heart.  The illness is a sad one, laugh and cry life is short and the tooth brush is shorter.

I have been taken care of an abused woman for a month. Someone took a baseball bat to her mouth that is right.. no teeth, selfesteem.  We will take your small problem. My new friend is now eating it is liquid/ground food and Ensure.  I have not had a family member step forward! What has the world come to?  This forum helped me and I want to thank everyone.  I was able to get her on disability and so much more.  

It began with a help recipe question.


God bless you, you are a true hero.......her hero.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,746
Registered: ‎04-27-2015

Re: WhWhat it's like to live with someone with early stages of dementia


@MomCat wrote:

@151949 wrote:

@millieshops Boy you hit the nail on the head. I was so tired  and depressed after the toothbrush incident I just cried.


Yes, and you will have many moments of wanting to cry, but please do yourself a huge favor and learn to chose your battles.  His request for that toothbrush was a very simple thing, but meant so much to him.  He can no longer function in your world, so you must function in his world so you both can enjoy your time with each other.  Good luck! 


Well said.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,870
Registered: ‎11-16-2014

Re: WhWhat it's like to live with someone with early stages of dementia

Sorry to read. Has he been diagnosed by a neurologist? I ask that because you said in another thread he "dropped me off at the mall." He still drives with dementia?

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Super Contributor
Posts: 378
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: WhWhat it's like to live with someone with early stages of dementia


@151949 wrote:

Yes, sometimes he does juist make me laugh - often times I will just say - REALLY ? - and he will look sheepish and smile at me, and we'll both laugh. Other times he is just beyond stubborn and unreasonable, like yesterday. 

To his credit he did apologize to me this morning for making me go 25 miles to the dentist office yesterday and disturbing them too.He is embarrassed. 

My DH does not have altzheimers - he has dementia caused by having small strokes and the neuro doctor is working on trying to prevent him having any more. He is under the care of a very competent doctor. Not all dementia is caused by Altzheimers disease.


@151949 I suspect this is what has happened to my older sister. She refuses to see a dr. I do not live near her, but we do talk on the phone from time to time. I did see her recently at our brother's surprise 70th birthday party. She kept repeating herself and was very talkative which is not normal for her. Her husband has his own health problems, but I understand from other family members that live closer to them, that he will not let her go anywhere by herself. Sad, but what do you do when they are unwilling to accept what is happening to them😢

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,886
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: WhWhat it's like to live with someone with early stages of dementia


@Trinity11 wrote:

Sorry to read. Has he been diagnosed by a neurologist? I ask that because you said in another thread he "dropped me off at the mall." He still drives with dementia?


 

I'm concerned  about this, too.  In the end, it doesn't matter if the dementia is due to Alzheimers Disease or something else.  A person with any type of dementia should be evaluated by a neurologist who should determine if that person can still safely drive. 

 

I'd worry about this more than what color toothbrush the person prefers. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,752
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: WhWhat it's like to live with someone with early stages of dementia


@151949 wrote:

@millieshops Boy you hit the nail on the head. I was so tired  and depressed after the toothbrush incident I just cried.


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You handled it well.  Great idea to put yours away in a different place.

 

If I were you, I'd also put a small dot of nail polish on mine, just in case he got them mixed up again.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,752
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: WhWhat it's like to live with someone with early stages of dementia


@1jenniferjuniper wrote:

@151949 wrote:

I go into the bathroom to clean and find both toothbrushes are exactly the same and both are green. I ask DH how we come to both have the exact same toothbrush and he said he got them from the dentist yesterday. I sigh. I throw them both in the trash and go to the drugstore and buy 2 identical toothbrushes only one is pink and one is blue. When i come home I explain to him that his new toothbrush is blue and he should always use the BLUE toothbrush. He wants the green one from the dentist. I explain that I could not tell them apart so I had to throw them away and buy the new ones, and his is blue.He says he wants the same exact one as me - I show him that they are exactly the same except the color so we can tell which one is which. He is still not satisfied. We had to drive all the way to the dentist ofice to get new ones from there - his is green and mine is pink , but I decided to be safe I put mine in a case and in a drawer instead of the holder in the BR. When he is having good days - most of the time - no problems at all but when he isn't - oh my - it is really a challenge.


As a retired nurse, I am surprised that this was such a big deal for you. Let him have his toothbrush and put yours somewhere else. In the Grand scheme of things this is a very small issue as far a dementia goes.


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Of course it's a big deal for her.  She has feelings, this is personal, it's someone she loves.

 

The problem would be if she responded like an atomaton without feelings.