Re: Need advice on dealing with a bad patient/fami... - Page 9

YorkieonmyPillow · ‎01-13-2013

@Laura14 How are you going to decide where to move? Are you going to visit each area under consideration?

And once you decide, are you going to try to secure employment before the move?

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@YorkieonmyPillowwrote:
@Laura14 How are you going to decide where to move? Are you going to visit each area under consideration?

And once you decide, are you going to try to secure employment before the move?

@YorkieonmyPillow Definitely can try and secure employment before I go. While at my internship at Walgreens, the pharmacist said to just apply on line and then they look and see where they have an opening for you. Right now, Walgreens is showing multiple openings for the small town I want to move to plus competitors advertise frequently for the same type of position so I don't think I'd have much trouble there. They also have an employment firm right there in case I need to fall back on old skills but I'm not too worried about that. I think I could get something fairly quickly and I have a very healthy savings account.

I have been to this small town several times and know it inside and out. I follow it on social media so I am up on news and the crime they have here and there and how the neighborhoods are holding up. I would be well prepared if I went that way. I'd almost be comfortable buying my first home.

But since I literally can go anywhere, I am also very drawn to a city where I can just ditch the car and walk everywhere especially in the winter time when weather is bad. It would take a big expense off of me even though the car is paid for so it's really just insurance and maintenance. But this is a low paying job that I will be starting in so I have my limits. I'd love to go back home near NYC but it's just super expensive and probably not a great move.

I wouldn't mind finding NYC on the cheap if that exists. But like you said, I think it would be helpful if I at least visited what's under consideration and that's not cheap either. Too many choices right now! It's overwhelming a little bit or a lot.

LTT1 · ‎03-09-2010

@Laura14

I am so sorry this is going on in your house and on your watch.

Have not read the other posts...but want to say you have my positive thoughts coming your way.

Maybe a couple of things I could offer, if you aren’t sick to death yet of everybody’s opinions. I’d be tearing my hair out in your situation —over the atmosphere in your place. My relationship w/my mom was always this way too.

Do not try to second guess... ASK and be direct, even if others are not.

Remove yourself from interpersonal strife and keep telling yourself that it is ok to remove yourself.

Take a break...go away even if it is out to dinner by yourself.

Your mom may be starting into mild dementia...so she may not be the person you are used to.❤️ (hugs)❤️

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@LTT1 Thank you!!

LTT1 · ‎03-09-2010

@NycVixen
AMEN to what you wrote!
Me too. Narcissistic mother

~Have a Kind Heart, Fierce Mind, Brave Spirit~

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

@Laura14wrote:
@GCR18wrote:
I'll give you my two cents. 😀 When you take mom to the Dr on Tuesday, go with her into the room. I would repeat everything she said is ailing her and see what the Dr says. I don't think there's anything ailing her from the surgery. I had robotic surgery and was up and about the day after. I had to remind myself I had to take it easy. Granted everyone is different, but what you've shared doesn't sound like her issues are physical.

I would also cut back on the calls with the sisters until mom leaves. I'd take the high road and do whatever mom needs done. I'd treat her how I would want to be treated. I also would make this her last stay at my house. Next time she brings up the topic, tell her sorry the hotel isn't open. People can't take advantage of you if you don't let them.
@GCR18 I agree with you. I think this is an emotional shedding by everyone who has been scared to death for the better part of a month or so over the first major illness we've experienced with a parent and, of course on my mother's end, her first real encounter with her mortality.

As I told my sister, if she chooses to sit and feel sorry for herself, that's a choice and I'm not servicing that. You get through it and move on. Cry it out but don't wallow in drama. Had to do it myself just last summer with being frustrated with a broken arm and had a real health scare a year before that, twice.

And I would love to shut the door on all of this and have tried for the past two years in earnest. It's just not going to happen. She and others just show up and come on in. I am moving. I just need to figure out where.

I totally get what you're saying. I have my own mother and sister problems. 😀 The difference is your mother has a husband and two other daughters that can help. Not saying they want to, but they can. Your mother may have to have her future surgeries in Florida. Good luck.

maestra · ‎03-09-2010

@Laura14wrote:
@maestra I'm considering moving to the Midwest which is further than that. Definite plane trip!

Consider Chicago! I lived there for many years.

The weather is terrible-like the Gobi Desert, but lots and lots to do-museums, adler Planetarium, Lake Michigan, and most of the people are very nice and polite.

Best of luck!

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@maestrawrote:
@Laura14wrote:
@maestra I'm considering moving to the Midwest which is further than that. Definite plane trip!
Consider Chicago! I lived there for many years.

The weather is terrible-like the Gobi Desert, but lots and lots to do-museums, adler Planetarium, Lake Michigan, and most of the people are very nice and polite.

Best of luck!

That's actually on the list! I've only been once. Nice to hear it's a good place to be. I've been a little skittish about it with the bad publicity lately but I have a few acquaintances who live there and like it.