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Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,354
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: How to get DH to get his hearing checked?


@SeaMaiden wrote:

I certainly would not want someone telling 

me what to do.  It is his hearing, his business. Sure, mention it once....but if he is fine with his hearing, then do not nag at him. 


please read previous post about brain function.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,170
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

Re: How to get DH to get his hearing checked?


@violann wrote:

If you love someone dearly and have decades of history, the idea 💡 of divorcing them because they can't hear you may seem a little farther than you'd want to go.


Unfortunately, that does not apply in my case.  Wish it did, I would find a way to cope!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,913
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: How to get DH to get his hearing checked?


@depglass wrote:

He spent his life working outside with heavy equipment.  They supposedly always wore ear plugs.  Now he can't even hear the seat belt buzzer, and the TV has to be jarringly loud.  Missed words?  Its almost comical except that I am running out of patience.  I know he lost his hearing working to support me, so I don't push this.  Any suggestions?


 

 

 

@depglass

 

I worked over 30+ years in a factory and the jobs I had all had high noise decibel level. The 1 particular job I worked for over 25+ of those years had decibel levels, in parts of this very long machine, that exceeded the level of jet engines at full power during takeoff.

 

Every job in that plant was very loud, some much higher than others. Also to help vent the plant of the "known cancer causing agent fumes", they had exhaust fans, in the ceiling, powered by airplane motors.

 

We were required to wear ear and safety glass eye protection on every single job in that plant. Also were required to take a hearing test(in the plants medical office) every year, every 6 months for those they found problematic.

 

There are certain octave levels that are hard to hear for me. They are mostly in the very high pitched octave levels. Many of my co-workers did not wear any type of ear protectors, and I knew a few of them that, even while I was still working, had trouble hearing.

 

I consider myself fortunate to not get some type of cancer working those many years with polyethylene products that said on the boxes and bags(back in the late 1950's, "possible cancer causing agent), and have been cancer free.

 

As for hearing? I think mine is fine, but my wife? Very few people do I have to ask "say what now". My suggestion for DH, he also worked to take care of himself, no? Do a turnaround on him and have him repeat everything he says to you, and not just for a day, but a long period of time. See how he likes it.

 

Many wives and SO say their husband/partner, have "selective hearing". I believe that and also it works in both directions. Hope your DH does not drive on public roads as I see my hearing as being a big asset in my defensive driving. Sound many times while driving may supercede ones vision.

 

Some woman are way too easy on their men. Just because they worked, while many of the ladies worked harder raising their children, doesn't make their men a saint. I am and always have been a "speak up and say it" person.

 

You asked, I replied.

 

 

 

hckynut(john)

hckynut(john)
Valued Contributor
Posts: 572
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: How to get DH to get his hearing checked?

I have the same problem with my husband.  He retired 11 years ago and had his hearing checked at work before he left.  He told me then that he had some hearing loss in each ear.  I let it go and said nothing.  Now 11 years later it's hard to talk to him and communicate with him.  I'm a talker and I have stopped talking like I use to to him.  Now I will think of saying something and I stop myself cause it's just too hard to have to explain things.  I use to say forget it and now I just don't say much. 

 

He can go and get tested and can either go to the VA or go to a doctor and we can pay for hearing aids.  He won't even go for a test.  I also had to go in his papers to get something he wanted and it was there I saw the results of his hearing test.  Loss of half hearing in each ear and that was 11 years ago.  It affects everything and everyone in the house.  One thing I noticed a lot is if I'm in the kitchen and the news is on and I am half listening to it and then ask something he says he doesn't know.  I get this all the time.  Now I don't ask, if I want to know I'll just go back on the DVR 

 

This is a man that stopped his cholesterol medication and refuses to go to the doctor. I take care of me and it's his choice to do nothing.  I've just given up on the medical problems.  It does affect his memory too.  I can see he gets frustrated too when he doesn't understand something. 

 

Thank God for pets.

 

 

 

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,170
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

Re: How to get DH to get his hearing checked?

[ Edited ]

@kismet  Are you my Sister Wife?

 

 It seems you are married to my husband!

Valued Contributor
Posts: 572
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: How to get DH to get his hearing checked?

I bet a lot of us could be sister wives.  I think sometimes you just have to say I'm done and leave them do what they want.  I knew there had to be more women dealing with things like this. 

 

My eye doctor for many years retired and sold his practice.  I made an appointment with the doctor that took over and saw my other doctor there seeing people.  I thought strange.  My husband saw him and he said his wife told him to go back to work, guess retirement was too hard for her. 

 

Will be married 50 years this year.  Have run the house by myself for years and things ran fine.  Husband retires and tells me my kitchen isn't organized right.  He starts moving things around.  I told him he may be retired but I'm the Queen of my domaine and don't mess with me.  He still moves things and I just move them back and say nothing.  Life goes on.

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,258
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: How to get DH to get his hearing checked?


@2blonde wrote:

@Zhills  Please see my previous post right above yours.......he needs to understand how this may affect him!


@2blonde@Zhills

 

With all due respect for the opinions of all here, I will always disagree when it comes to mentioning dementia or any like disease/disorder, when folded in with a first time serious talk about hearing loss.  You simply cannot do that to a man's ego!

 

The husband of the O/P incurred hearing loss due to immense decibel levels at work over a protracted period of time on the job. 

 

While working with Naval ENT researchers, I came to learn that a great deal of money is spent every year on all of our "sailors" who incurred hearing loss working in very, very loud environments.  A good example are the flagmen on the deck of an air craft carrier.  Though they use earplugs and headphones, they now know that even coupling those two "preventives" is not nearly enough to prevent the loss of the teeny hairs in the inner ear, which are actually nerve endings.  Once these hairs or nerve endings are damaged/gone, they do not grown back, as they are part of the central nervous system.

 

Back to the O/P's question:  I don't know.  I have the same problem with my husband.  The hearing in his right ear is so bad it's ridiculous!  We had an argument in the car last evening about this very thing.  For the thousandths time, he repeated directions I had given to our 3-1/2 year old granddaught, so "I made the mistake of tell him I had already told her."  Boy, did I get an ear full!!!  Get it:  I got the earful, because HE didn't hear me giving directions.  Darned if you do, darned if you don't.

 

And the number of times per day I have to repeat myself is driving me up the wall.  I decided last night that some day very soon, I'm going to stop repeating myself.  I'm just really tired of this.  If he wants to hear me, he can do something about it.  That's just about where I am.

 

Good luck, O/P

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,170
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

Re: How to get DH to get his hearing checked?

[ Edited ]

@kismet 

 

I respectfully disagree (not looking for a fight just expressing my opion while respecting your).  I do respect yours!

 

He doesn't WANT to understand anything!  That is our biggest problem.  HE KNOWS!  He has hearing aides and refuses to wear them.  I call it obstinance!  Pure obstinance!  He wears glasses and hasn't been back to the eye doc for 8 years.  He won't take his medicine correctly or follow the Doctor's orders because HE KNOWS more than they do.  

 

He will mess up royally (hearing) and just makes a joke out of it or lies about it and just pretends he intended it to be that way.

 

I am not dealing with a man who spent his life doing for me and I am thankful.  We have been married 7 years and he has reverted to an obstinant 9 year old that is too big to spank.  We have no life.  We eat and sleep (in different rooms) and can't carry on a conversation.  He seems that as long as he is sitting here looking at me we live in paradise!  

 

Can you imagine living in a hole with a curmudgeon!   

 

I know the hearing thing must be difficult when you have spent a life with, and love someone.  I'm just in a cage!

 

 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,369
Registered: ‎08-20-2012

Re: How to get DH to get his hearing checked?

Just keep saying What? Don't talk loud for him. Tell him it bothers your throat to talk loud. If nothing seems to be working take a walk or a ride. DH wears hearing aids. When the battery goes we do not talk because he cannot hear me. Hope things get better for you.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,170
Registered: ‎11-15-2011

Re: How to get DH to get his hearing checked?

I don't need to talk louder.  If he hears any word, he will decide for himself what you really said and answer you accordingly.  99% of the time, he is wrong and you get an answer or comment that does not relate to what you said at all but again, he tries to make it right because that's what HE heard!

 

Anymore, I just say, "Well that's NOT what I said."  He will try to convince me that it is.  It's obstinance, he did not "not hear you correctly" in his mind!!!