Thank you all for your care, concern and suggestions. My clinic is closed now, but I will call first thing in the morning. I'm sure they will let me see a Nurse Practioner if my doctor isn't available. I also left a msg. for my psychologist to call me.
I'm going to make my list of my symptoms and how I'm feeling as was suggested. And will check out the link on depression. I'm grateful it was mentioned not to experiment with otc products. Your right.
This Christmas should really be one of the least stressful as far a preparing for. Just our daughter, son-in-law and two grandchildren ages 12 & 15 are coming to stay. They are all always so helpful and respectful. A 100% Blessing. Never any problems with them at all. When we are with them it's about the only time I can relate to the feeling of Joy. They just love on us and we them. We're all keeping it simple with getting gifts for the kids only, and they aren't asking for much of anything. Our grandchildren have already called and asked if they could stay longer after Christmas and then we'd drive them 1/2 way back. So just having them still want to stay and be with us is another blessing. So again, I know it's me. I think I've finally gotten to the point to where I'm getting out of my denial and realizing that I can't do it alone in fighting this battle. I think it's always a little harder during Christmas because my past in childhood was totally the opposite and it probably brings back very uncomfortable memories w/out my even realizing it. For those of you who came from a parental alcoholic/abusive background to where horror was more familiar than love, you know what I mean.
"Survivor" thank you for that reminder. I just happened to peak at the posts and see where #8 wrote that. I've been told that's what I am by my psychologist. It was hard for me to relate to it that way. But I think I'm beginning to see what she meant.
My husband is supportive and is also a survivor of abuse. The one thing he has that I do not is resilience. How he goes on and overcomes amazes me. It sometimes drive me up a wall and even makes me envious, but I have to remember I'm not him. He just has been blessed w/the gift of looking at things in a totally different perspective. He said he's never been depressed, yet is a understanding and compassionate person.
I just realized I started rabbit tracking. Sorry.
Again, thank you all so much. I'll check back on the board tomorrow and let you know how things are going. You have all been so kind.
MidnightShadow
Faith sees the invisible, believes the incredible and receives the impossible
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