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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,202
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

With the high temperatures i have had the ac on. I can't take the noise especially  the motor which seems to be on even when the ac isn'r blowing, I never was like this  Are pills the only answer, I just had cataract surgery so please excuse error. i I am not sleeping much or eartng, no relatives but a son and he is resnting all this but helps aome and I am resenting him  for not doing more. I will be 80 and a widwo for a short time. No other family or friends  I am going craz y with this--anybody feel this way  not necessay with ac just th e feeling.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,779
Registered: ‎06-19-2010

Re: Anxiety issues /anyone

[ Edited ]

@halfpint1, although I'm not in your shoes, I can understand your anxiety.  There's still two of us but my kids all live far away and the 'what if' pops into my mind from time to time.  The best thing that I can say is take things one day at a time.  No point in resenting your son.  He is what he is.  Hope you feel better.

"The quieter you become, the more you can hear". (By Ram Dass, an American Spiritual Teacher) \em>
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,242
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

I grew up in a family where emotional problems were never discussed. However, my husband is in the early stages of dementia, both my daughters have been diagnosed with the same auto-immune disease, my 95 year old mother has suffered several mini-strokes, and I am in need of knee replacement surgery. The stress was becoming intolerable. I agreed to the lowest dose of Zoloft. I'm glad I took my doctor's advice. The medication has taken the edge off the anxiety. I cannot change the stressors in my life but I can try to mitigate the effects.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,291
Registered: ‎06-15-2014

So sorry you are struggling. Anxiety is very common. 

You don't have to just suffer with it. See your GP, be honest with him/her, go from there. 

There is so much that can be done to help you feel better.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 9,350
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

halfpint1--I am very sorry you are having such a difficult time lately. Your plate is very full--and it  sounds, with just having surgery, you are going thru what alot of people go thru--trying to deal with healing and the stress that it causes. I understand those things feel overwhelming; been thru the wringer myself with a few health issues and only me to figure it out. No, pills aren't the answer altho maybe you should be talking to your dr about all this. There are meds that can help--I take ativan--it helps with anxiety, helps me to sleep. Wondering if you have any church connections; that may help. But you NEED to eat and drink to heal up from your surgery--- And no idea about the AC noise---I have fans blowing everywhere myself. I think every little thing is just ganging up on you right now. Can't advise you about the son either---my fam isn't much help really, so I have done most on my own. But nothing will get better if YOU don't take the first step. And my condolences on your loss!

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,833
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Anxiety issues /anyone

[ Edited ]

I guess I am in your shoes.  I just turned 83. I've been widowed twice now, the last being August, 2016.  I have children who live nearby and the youngest daughter and her DH are here several times each week to help me with anything I need. But most of the time I am alone.  Also my pup just crossed the rainbow bridge, so no more companionship there. I am looking for another dog, but so far can't find what I am looking for.  Do you have a pet? There are so many needy animals - a cat is an easy pet to have.

 

When DH was desperately ill and I was his main source of support, my doctor prescribed some anti-anxiety meds, which I have to say helped tremendously. They are a generic for Xanax. I rarely take them now, but for a while they were life savers. Doctor still renews the script in case I feel the need for them.  So far, I don't. Why not explain how you feel to your General Practitioner and ask him for help?  Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of.

 

As for your son, some children are more understanding than others. Don't resent or blame him because he clearly doesn't understand your situation.  He's younger and hasn't walked in your shoes yet.  He really isn't ready to understand at this point in his life.  Just love him for what he does and you take care of yourself as I am sure you can.  And find something outside of your home to involve yourself in. Church, visiting in a nursing home. being a volunteer at a local hospital. keep writing to the good people here on this Board.   Caring for and thinking of others will help to take your mind off of yourself. It a good thing..

Honored Contributor
Posts: 16,582
Registered: ‎06-27-2010

Re: Anxiety issues /anyone

[ Edited ]

 

              @halfpint1,    I have chronic pain (physical), depression, and anxiety, so I think I can understand your distress.    You might want to start by making sure, with your primary care physician, that there isn't a physiological medical cause for this sudden onset of anxiety and sensitivity.     Recent surgery, and everything associated with surgery, might have triggered this.

 

            Also, it's important to find and work with a qualified mental health professional who can teach specific techniques like mindfulness, deep breathing (also, "square breathing" etc.), meditation, self-hypnosis, bio-feedback, guided imagery, and even "timed journaling" or "journal therapy" (which is not the same as just making daily journal entries).   (about journal therapy:  https: // www. goodtherapy. org /learn-about-therapy/types/journal-therapy -- remove the spaces to use the link)

 

            Don't be afraid to use prescribed medications if recommended, and give them time to help.   Sometimes we need them, and there's absolutely no shame in that.    

 

            Activity and exercise can be beneficial.    Also, as discussed in several other threads (one currently active in Among Friends), mindfully and purposefully practicing gratitude has an actual, measurable effect on the brain and can lift our spirits in a real and sustained way.

 

            It's important to communicate with others about your concerns, questions, etc., and you're doing that right now.   Please be aware that you are not alone.   Many, many others experience this and understand.    You can find a way to make things better -- remember, you are worth it.  

 

         It's not necessarily easy, but there are ways to work with anxiety and to change our experiences.    I'm so sorry for your loss.   I wish for you the very best.   My heart goes out to you.Heart

 

⭐️Few things reveal your intellect & your generosity of spirit, the parallel powers of your heart & mind, better than how you give feedback. MPopova⭐️
Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,504
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

@halfpint1 wrote:

With the high temperatures i have had the ac on. I can't take the noise especially  the motor which seems to be on even when the ac isn'r blowing, I never was like this  Are pills the only answer, I just had cataract surgery so please excuse error. i I am not sleeping much or eartng, no relatives but a son and he is resnting all this but helps aome and I am resenting him  for not doing more. I will be 80 and a widwo for a short time. No other family or friends  I am going craz y with this--anybody feel this way  not necessay with ac just th e feeling.


 

 

This reads to me as if the heat is making you anxious and cranky - and I'm right there with you ;-) The sustained effect of high temperatures has always had that effect on me. Nothing is right for me when I'm hot 👺

 

I have no a/c; I'd welcome its noise. I know that window units can be noisy - but AFAIC, better noisy than roasting. Take a cool shower and have cool drinks. Go to an air-conditioned movie if you're able.

 

I would discuss anti-anxiety medications with your doctor. These days, they tend to toss anti-depressants to older people like candy because that makes the govt happier, forget the patient. I prefer short-acting anxiolytics (anti-anxiety meds) and refuse to take anti-depressants. I'm not depressed, I'm anxious.  And for me there's a difference.

Life without Mexican food is no life at all
Frequent Contributor
Posts: 79
Registered: ‎04-14-2012

I  have severe anxiety.  I absolutely hate it!  I am taking medication, but it doesn't help that much.  The Dr. gave me Buspar to try, but it has been sitting in my medicine cabinet for 7 months.  I am afraid it will make me worse.  It is really helpful to hear about other experiences, it makes me feel that I am not alone.  I struggle every single day.

Frequent Contributor
Posts: 108
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Well ladies, add me to the list.  I have always been anxious even as a child (my mom died shortly after I turned 11), and I am getting worse by the day.

 

I now have an empty nest since all my children are adults, and I just cannot handle it.  My husband travels frequently, and we have ZERO family within 500 miles.  I am an only child, so no one understands what I have been through.

 

I just don't know what to do at this point.  Very overwhelmed.  

 

My thoughts are with all of you who suffer as I do.