Wellness

[Sooner]

No, a lot of people do not "plan" their retirement.  Things happen:  companies fold, relocations, illness, new bosses, job reassignments, pension buy outs, etc. etc.

Not everyone has a family.  Not everyone has hobbies they enjoy.  A lot of people have worked so much and had to scramble to live that they did not make friends outside of work.  

Some people feel very lost, lonely and out of place when they retire, through no fault of their own.  Some have harder times socializing than others--through no fault of their own.  Some people simply aren't wanted in a lot of "doer" groups--they don't fit in.  Some people can't stand other people.  Whatever.

That all being said, I don't think it is fair to look down or scold people who are not thrilled with being retired.  Some like the security and the motivation and challenge of work.  Some can't wait to have nothing to do, some it doesn't sit well with.  

We are all different.

[Moonchilde]

---

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

This is not directed at anyone who has posted a comment here, but is being asked based on some of the comments made ......    

Doesn't anyone PLAN their retirements?    I see a lot of focus on tv commercials about saving money ... but what about what you'll fill your time with when you no longer work?    

Or is it the "norm" to just stop working ...  and do nothing?

---

I think it would depend on:

- Single or married

- One retired or both

- What your personality is

- What your activity level is before you retire

- What you enjoy doing now

- Whether or not you want to learn/do new things

- How much disposable income for recreation your retirement income allows

Everyone is different. Some people would very much feel the need to fill their days with "something to do"; others, no. I pass no judgment either way. Whatever people do, they've earned the right to do what they choose, even if they choose 'not much.'

[AKgirl2]

---

@LilacTree wrote:

I'm 78 and not in good health, actually only a year and a half from 80.  I could die tomorrow and still consider that I was lucky to have lived that long.  Our family is not long lived. 

I think about dying practically every day now.  I figure it could be any day, or five years from now.  At any rate it goes very fast and even five years will fly by.

60 sounds like a baby to me.  I was still working (until 66) and feeling young and healthy (and looking forward to SS).  The last 12 years has passed like lightning.  If you have your health, you have everything.  You can still do almost anything.

---

without your health, you really don't have anything...I heard my parents say that all the time, and now I'm saying it.  

[AKgirl2]

---

@hckynut wrote:

---

@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

This is not directed at anyone who has posted a comment here, but is being asked based on some of the comments made ......    

Doesn't anyone PLAN their retirements?    I see a lot of focus on tv commercials about saving money ... but what about what you'll fill your time with when you no longer work?    

Or is it the "norm" to just stop working ...  and do nothing?

Hi @Tinkrbl44,

I did not plan on retiring when i did. My employer AT&T had a buyout, and after 33 yrars, I had enough of factory work. I did some math and if i kept working as opposed to retiring at that time, for 10 years I would be making less than $3 per hour. Could find many jobs i liked where i could make way more than that amount.

I have not worked for anyone but myself since I retired. Since I had started my Adult Hockey League in 1963 as my hobby, in 1991, I decided to turn it into my retirement supplementation. Instead of doing it at my costs, I set my price to play comparable to other hockey leagues in my city.

Then I decided to receive my SS at 62, which again with simple math, I figured by waiting to 65, the difference in $$ would take 12 years. Thus I was 74 years old before that expired. Who knows at 62 if they will live to 65 ? All my health issues started before I turned 63, many which kill thousands every single day.

I fortunately cashed in all my AT&T stock, later which became Lucent, and that stock had the bottom fall out. Some of my co-workers lost 6 figures when that happened, and many never recovered. I had the stock that was earned over the years given to me by my employer. I am one that has always believed that "1 bird in my hand is worth more any number in the busch".

I did not really plan, but took advantage of circumstances that I had earned and all worked out for me by me doing some simple math, and dumping my stock and not waiting hoping to make more.

hckynut(john)

---

there is a sufficiency in the world for man's need but not for man's

greed ~ Mahatma Ghandi

[qualitygal]

Not counting any health changes we have no control over, the rest of it, we can choose. We can choose to eat better, have activity, and be kinder to those around us. We can choose!

[qualitygal]

---

@Sooner wrote:

---

@ALRATIBA wrote:

My doctor tells me I'm healthy and "young for my age."   I just turned 74.  My family tends to live long lives ... most into their 90s.  

Even so ... my motto is "live each day as though it were your last."    I don't want to spend my time worrying/thinking about trivial things.  Just yesterday, I read these lines from Thomas Merton:

"...to turn aside from controversy and put away heavy loads of judgment and censorship and criticism and the whole burden of opinions that I have no obligation to carry."

I have several projects and interests that I've been working on for years ... and will continue to do so.

---

I don't watch every new scast now and avoid the politics above all.  I have been there, done that, and refuse to be upset all day about things I can't change. It is other people's time now.  I still have opinions, strong ones, and will vote, but I will NOT engage in this nonsense every day.

---

@Sooner,

Your heart for the day is me saying, Hear, hear!!! So right you are.

[White Picket Fence]

I am thinking the worst a lot lately. Since turning fifty nine I often think about how I have wasted so many years not being able to do what I want. Now that I'm this age, the aches and pains leave me not feeling like doing all that much. In my head I'm so young, but not body wise. The fact that Alzheimers is in my family and has taken four people makes me worry that I to will also wind up with this. I can't help it. I have a brother that was only sixty nine when he got it. Now he is in a place because his wife did everything she could at home with him but he started falling a lot and all kinds of things were happening to him. She had to let him go. He is now seventy four. That's young. He is a young looking man and very smart. He acted young and now he has lost his memory and became  basically a child and old person in one. It's so sad. My wonderful loving father died of this in 2006 and my Uncle (his brother) just passed from it in May. I get so depressed at times thinking I will get this and who knows when. I know many will say you can't keep thinking about it and you may not get it. I don't constantly think about it, but let's face it, I can get this disease. I can't help but wonder. So I try to not think about life being over even if I don't get that disease. Sixty scares me because I have more years behind me than ahead of me. None of us knows when the end will come. But you don't think about this when your twenty or even forty, at least I didn't. Birthdays never bothered me and either did age. I looked young. But now I think about aging and just hate it because I'm so young at heart. Anyone else  fear  ageing or Alzheimers? Thanks

[phoenixbrd]

I live everyday in the present...no, I do not think about aging or the challenges of growing old - those have existed since I came into this world.  I choose to be grateful for every moment.  Meditation, choosing a healthy lifestyle, helps free me from living in the past or the future.  My core belief is to live in compassion and kindness and this encourages me to not dwell on myself.  Of course, we all have challenges in life.  I think it is our core beliefs that determine how we meet those challenges.  I do know of the pain and suffering in the world, I choose to breathe it in and breathe out love and compassion.  

[Snoopp]

@White Picket Fence  I think it  can be very distressing to see illness hit someone in your family, especially when you are watching the physical effects on them.  I don't think you can avoid this distress but I try to focus on one day at a time.   Maybe anti anxiety drugs might help.  Somehow we have to put those worries aside the best we can.

[Moonchilde]

---

@ALRATIBA wrote:

My doctor tells me I'm healthy and "young for my age."   I just turned 74.  My family tends to live long lives ... most into their 90s.  

Even so ... my motto is "live each day as though it were your last."    I don't want to spend my time worrying/thinking about trivial things.  Just yesterday, I read these lines from Thomas Merton:

"...to turn aside from controversy and put away heavy loads of judgment and censorship and criticism and the whole burden of opinions that I have no obligation to carry."

I have several projects and interests that I've been working on for years ... and will continue to do so.

---

I didn't see this post until just now, when a later poster quoted it.

The Thomas Merton quote resonates with me. For various reasons, I did not grow up active in political discourse or discussing hot topic issues of the day; neither was I a "healthy debate"-er. While I definitely have opinions, I've never felt the need to push them on people, or turn or convert people to my way of thinking.

Much of any criticism about such issues that I might feel is internal, not verbally expressed, because I know it's JMO.

The most I might do is put my opinion out there and discuss *as long as it remains a DISCUSSION* and not a shouting match, debate or pithing match. But, I have no OBLIGATION (for all the reasons usually given) to enter into this arena. What I choose to take on to worry about or critique is my CHOICE, not someone else's for me.