Wellness

[hckynut]

@White Picket Fence

I just replied to the thread you started about your genetics. Said pretty much the same there as i would to this post, but will add a lot more here. There are several types of "aging", only 1 of which is chronological. I worked with men that at age 40 they acted like they were 80.

I ran my Adult Hockey League for 52 years, and in contrast, to my co-workers, many players were in their late 60's, 1 of which played into his 80's, and quit only because he moved out of state. All these elder men skated and played like they did in their 40's.

How and why did they and were they able to continue this highly physical and mental game? First because tjey loved the game, that love kept them very physically and mentally active, and that is the more important age. That age is called "Physiological Age". 

Way too many people think of age only in birthday numbers. None of these men, nor myself ever thought of that age. What they used as a gauge had nothing to do with the number of birthdays that had come and gone, just what they could still do, and at a very high level.

hckynut(john)

[chrystaltree]

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@Tinkrbl44 wrote:

This is not directed at anyone who has posted a comment here, but is being asked based on some of the comments made ......    

Doesn't anyone PLAN their retirements?    I see a lot of focus on tv commercials about saving money ... but what about what you'll fill your time with when you no longer work?    

Or is it the "norm" to just stop working ...  and do nothing?

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      I'm fortunate to be in position in which I can plan for my retirement.  Not everyone can, you know.  Don't get me wrong, retirement is not a goal for me and most certainly is not something I look foward to.  I'm 56 and I'm healthy and active and I absolutely love my career and I'm very good at what I do.  I know that someday I will retire but I think I am one of those people who will work until I'm 70, maybe 72.   Hubby and I are both make good salaries, we have no mortgage, we have excellent retirement plans through our employers and we have our own individual retirement plans.  As I said, we are fortunate.  Our plan is that when we do retire,  we will be able to live the same lifestyle we live now.  Which is another reason why will work until 70.  I don't ever want to be in a position in which I have think about money or have to cut back or deny myself the things that I want.  So, yes.  I have a retirement plan.

[Starpolisher]

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@hckynut wrote:

@Starpolisher

You and "Born 1956" just might make your thoughts a reality. I personally have never had any close/long term associations with overly Pessimistic individuals. My belief has been, and always will be, to view every stage of my life, the easy and the difficult, as an optimist.

Physically or Mentally unhealthy, I never took a pessimistic outlook at my life or "what might not be's". I preferred and prefer to look at what " I believe it will be", and move on from there. 

You 2 can make the rest of your lives what you want it to be, the choices are up to you.

hckynut(john)

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@hckynut 

Good for you! However, since you have not walked in my shoes you can not even begin to judge me. I am not a pessimistic person. I just don't happen to view my retirement the same way that you do. What I bring to the table is in part the sum of my life experiences. I come to these forums to be enlightened not judged or belittled. These forums are mostly self reflective which makes it easier to bear ones insecurities. No one that knows me personally would call me a pessimist. However, my view of the world can not be seen through your eyes. In your post #44 you say, "life without goals would be an empty life". Well, that's exactly what I'm saying. Not about age or money. I have no problem with either of those. What I no longer have is a MEANINGFUL goal or dream to strive for. Just because someone tells you how or what to do or feel doesn't make it MEANINGFUL unless it comes from within!

 In my post #25, I explain how my mom has been retired for years and how very active she is. I certainly have an excellent role model when it comes to retirement. However, she is not me, I am not her. What brings meaning to her life does not bring meaning to mine. Happiness must come from within one's self!

[Sooner]

Some of us have had to be "adults" all of our lives, and do things for others, make decisions for others, and give over a lot of our life to others whose demands came first. 

I think sometimes l have low expectations.  We have traveled a lot, and aren't "bucket list" people, so I guess our expectations of retirement were not what some would call "planning" for it.  We did plan well financially, but beyond that, not so much.  Because we still have people whose needs come before ours.  I often think it won't ever be "our time,"  and I expect many of you are in the same boat.

So to hear people go on and on about retirement and "are you going to travel?" and "are you going to move" (would love to but can't because of obligations) really gets pretty old sometimes. Retirement has come to symbolize some grand "do what you want" thing of expectations and fantasy that just isn't possible for some of us.  It's just the way it is. . . Our life hasn't changed all that much, but we don't go to work every day.

So quit putting so many expectations on all retirees.  It is daunting sometimes for those whose lives don't fall into that fantasy world. For some, life gets more difficult after they retire--often through no fault of their own or anyone else's--just life.

[Starpolisher]

Amen! ...and some of us have no desire to travel or go into debt with another mortgage after we've spent 30+ years of our lives paying off the first one. As a matter of fact, some of us enjoy our own company and don't really need to go or do anything. For me it's why I feel the way I do. I've done all the big things in life that I'm ever going to do! 

[Moonchilde]

Some people are extroverted, high-energy, high drive-to-succeed achievers all their lives. They may work 12 hr days and then go to the gym, and hate having to veg in front of the TV when sick. They may always be very unhappy when not constantly "doing something" or being socially active in groups. They hate "doing nothing."

Some people are introverted, their pleasure and fulfillment centered internally in reading, viewing, conversing, hobbies and work that is done solo. They re-charge *away* from others, not with them. Work (as in job) tires them both emotionally and physically, as do schedules, timetables and the demands of others. The last thing they want is to feel "busy" all the time; it does not fulfill them.

Whichever one you may be, there is *nothing wrong* with, or lacking in, your opposite. It's different personalities, not flaws that must be addressed and dealt with. It's not that one has it "right" and everyone would be okay if all were just like them.

*Respect* the differences. Introverts usually do, extroverts often do not.

[blackhole99]

I'm 65 and was recently diagnosed with a fairly serious disease, some days I'm a little depressed, but we all are going to die of something. I feel pretty good most days, but I can only imagine what I'm going to face in the future. For someone who likes to control everything, not knowing what may come next is not a good feeling. I try not to dwell on it and look forward to enjoying my family and our lifestyle just like I did a few short months ago before I was diagnosed. For sure I don't let things bother me as much and I'm thankful I know the Lord .

[hckynut]

@Starpolisher wrote:

What a coincidence! I was just coming here to post something similar only mine is more on a negative note. I'm 62 and only have a good  20 to 25 years left, if I'm lucky. I've also been thinking about how I spend my days. I retired last June and since then, I'm having a hard time staying motivated to do ANYTHING. I spend too many days doing absolutely nothing productive and telling myself I'll do it tomorrow. I just can't seem to get into a routine and stick to it. I do babysit for my granddaughter twice a week and love it!  It's the only time I feel motivated to do anything. I keep thinking about how when my ds's were home I got so much done and felt so much more fulfilled. Now I just feel sort of aimless, cleaning and cooking but with no real goals left to pursue. How do others who have retired and are in your 60's handle this? What inspires you? What goals or future dreams keep you motivated and looking ahead? I need some focus.

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@Starpolisher

In your last paragraph you ask 3 questions. I explained how i have handled it.  What inspires me was also a question, which i attempted to answer, and that was my view. 

You asked about goals that motivated, and still motivate and has kept and still keep me looking ahead. I answered that question, also from my views and experiences.

I in no way made any pretense of "walking in your shoes", nor the shoes of anyone on this forum. You asked some questions, so i decided to answer them, and from the views of my shoes. I will leave it at that.

hckynut(john)

[mysterylady]

Well put and very accurrate. Me and my three children are all home-bodies (likely seen as introverts). We like our own company and like being at home doing home tasks. Two of them are married to extroverts that just can't be idol. They seem to have worked it out. 

I agree with everything you said with the exception of extroverts respect the difference - some just view us as "weird."

I've been retired for 13 years. I am happy if I get one thing a day that I want to get done and I do it. I've waited all my adult life to be able to have time to accomplish things around the house at my leisure. Several years ago, I volunteered as a receptionist in a medical office for an occupational therapist. It was very much unlike any job I had ever done. (I was an administrator) Did it for 3 years but when I was done, I was done. I now have some serious health problems too deal with and I work awhile, sit awhile. I'm content - except for the health part. That's as much as I want from the rest of my life and if God has a plan for more, I'm up for that. Give me the direction. I'm 75.

[chihuahuamom]

Enjoy and treasure each day. My DH was diagnosed with Alzheimers at 62, something that we NEVER dreamed would happen. He is in a facility now, and I visit him twice a day.  I am 65 and in good health, and have been teaching piano for 30 years so I can continue to do that for as long as I like  (and I do love it) and am a church musician (which I also love). So I do have focus and independence with my jobs. It is sad though knowing that my years ahead will be without my DH. I just hope I will be a blessing to others as I age. Maybe my life experiences can be a benefit to others.