Re: After surgery needs/advice please

Mominohio · ‎08-08-2010

She is your mom, so you should know the basics. What foods they like or can have (will she have any restrictions after surgery?), and have those on hand.

Can you give them an area to themselves? The master suite with their own bathroom for example. And in that area have anything she will need to be comfortable (or him if he has health mobility issues) like a recliner for relaxing, their own TV etc.

Can her husband go with someone like your husband or other men to some functions that will keep him occupied for a few hours at a time. Golfing, fishing, men's groups, church groups etc.? Have someone take him to a show or a symphony or anything else like that he would enjoy?Getting him out and doing might keep them both from going stir crazy.

What do they do? Do they have favorite TV shows that they don't want to miss? Do they have a strict schedule (my grandparents got really locked into a strict schedule and didn't handle it well when it was changed) that you can be sure to accommodate?

It sounds like a long time maybe to keep them occupied but it will go fast!

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

Thank you so much all!

My mom is having a hysterectomy (robot so small abdominal incisions not the major cut). I love the shower bench idea and the puzzles. I think both of them love crosswords so I will grab a bunch from the store.

I think they both read on their tablets so they should be good there with whatever they download. My sister lives down the street and I'm sure her husband will be out and about with her husband and his friends from time to time but that is a good idea to ask her to see if he is available.

I can't tell you how much I appreciate the suggestions.

Mj12 · ‎03-09-2010

There are some great suggestions here, I would just be repeating. Just want to wish your Mom a very successful surgery and recuperation. You’re a great daughter, @Laura14!

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@Mominohiowrote:
She is your mom, so you should know the basics. What foods they like or can have (will she have any restrictions after surgery?), and have those on hand.

Can you give them an area to themselves? The master suite with their own bathroom for example. And in that area have anything she will need to be comfortable (or him if he has health mobility issues) like a recliner for relaxing, their own TV etc.

Can her husband go with someone like your husband or other men to some functions that will keep him occupied for a few hours at a time. Golfing, fishing, men's groups, church groups etc.? Have someone take him to a show or a symphony or anything else like that he would enjoy?Getting him out and doing might keep them both from going stir crazy.

What do they do? Do they have favorite TV shows that they don't want to miss? Do they have a strict schedule (my grandparents got really locked into a strict schedule and didn't handle it well when it was changed) that you can be sure to accommodate?

It sounds like a long time maybe to keep them occupied but it will go fast!

@Mominohio Thanks! I actually have him set up to use the golf course around the corner if he wants. That was a fantastic idea.

And she is staying in a master suite. I live in her old house and I never moved into her old room so it's all there waiting for her just like when she visits.

I knew you guys would know so much better than I about what to have on hand. Thank you! Thank you!

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

First - her NEEDS will be told to you at the hospital before she is discharged. Other than that most answers would depend on what surgery she is having.

judy0330 · ‎01-03-2011

@JeanLouiseFinch hit the nail on the head! This is something that is very difficult to plan in advance. I had surgery on 2/5. I had a list a mile long of everything I was going to get done while I recovered. What did I do? Nothing. I was on round the clock pain meds for the first 3 days --- which I try to avoid at all costs -- but there was no choice. I basically slept for the first week. After that I pretty much read or watched tv. Exactly the opposite of what I had planned. As far as food -- I ate whatever I wanted to whenever I wanted to. If the surgery is a difficult one -- real structure afterwards is next to impossible. After the first week I couldn't sleep which made the days very long. I feel like I have finally emerged on the other side. If your mom is having a difficult time -- please keep telling her that this too shall pass and it will get better. I wish both of you well.

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@151949wrote:
First - her NEEDS will be told to you at the hospital before she is discharged. Other than that most answers would depend on what surgery she is having.

@151949 I was going more for wants and as much as I would love to be at the hospital upon discharge, I am the lone working person in my immediate family so others will be there for that. Can't do it all!

But if it makes you feel better, I did go over her prescription orders with her and warned about some questions the pharmacy may have for the doctor and exactly what she has been prescribed and how it should be taken.

There is a lot more to what is going on with her than I choose to reveal right now so I am asking that you just not participate with this post if you can't be polite because I have enough unpleasantness around me now as anyone would infer from the topic of this thread.

151949 · ‎03-09-2010

@Laura14 So you can't say to her "Mom, what were your discharge instructions? Let's see if there is anything I need to do or get for you."

Laura14 · ‎06-09-2014

@judy0330wrote:
@JeanLouiseFinch hit the nail on the head! This is something that is very difficult to plan in advance. I had surgery on 2/5. I had a list a mile long of everything I was going to get done while I recovered. What did I do? Nothing. I was on round the clock pain meds for the first 3 days --- which I try to avoid at all costs -- but there was no choice. I basically slept for the first week. After that I pretty much read or watched tv. Exactly the opposite of what I had planned. As far as food -- I ate whatever I wanted to whenever I wanted to. If the surgery is a difficult one -- real structure afterwards is next to impossible. After the first week I couldn't sleep which made the days very long. I feel like I have finally emerged on the other side. If your mom is having a difficult time -- please keep telling her that this too shall pass and it will get better. I wish both of you well.

@judy0330 and @JeanLouiseFinch Thank you both very much.

That's the problem is she doesn't know what to expect or how she'll feel and who would until you go through it? I was hoping there would be some universal things to have on hand but you just don't know until it actually gets here do you?

I appreciate everyone so much!

Hoovermom · ‎03-19-2010

@Laura14: You are being a great support to your mom by anticipating what her needs may be. I am sure some of the things we often worry about don't come to fruition (thank goodness). I know that there are couriers that delivery just about anything to your home if an emergeny arises or you just need a little help. Best wishes for healing for her, your dad and everyone ( including you) involved in this journey.

P.S. I just saw your response to the last poster. I had a hysterectomy a few years. My sister reminded me the other day about climbing the stairs to my bedroom when I came home from the hospital. I think all of our strengths/will is different and we all respond differently. I didn't want to be sick, so I did follow the doctor's instructions.