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Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,495
Registered: ‎05-03-2014

Re: 82 yr old mother and dementia/very violent...

Tahoe65, my dear, I'm very sorry that you're going through such hardships. I'm very sorry that I don't have any advice for you, but I sincerely hope that things get better for you. I just want to say that none of this is your fault and you don't deserve any of that bad treatment. And I'm very sorry that you lost your dog as well.

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Occasional Contributor
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Registered: ‎12-13-2011

Re: 82 yr old mother and dementia/very violent...

Phone calls in the morning, will keep you updated..

Thank you to everyone for the informative and very useful information you provided..

She was not physically violent today, but very verbally abusive. It is so emotionally draining...

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,752
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: 82 yr old mother and dementia/very violent...

On 12/22/2014 Tahoe65 said:

Phone calls in the morning, will keep you updated..

Thank you to everyone for the informative and very useful information you provided..

She was not physically violent today, but very verbally abusive. It is so emotionally draining...

Hang in there Tahoe and yes please post back. I will pray for you.

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Super Contributor
Posts: 473
Registered: ‎04-24-2012

Re: 82 yr old mother and dementia/very violent...

Does she have a doctor at all? Why is she making all the rules there? I agree with calling 911 next time there's even a hint of violence. Have her taken to the hospital then the State will get involved. Her (or a) doctor can have her placed somewhere and you won't have to bring her back home. I know of a situation like this, the doctor had the woman placed in a nursing home and wouldn't let her be released because even her family couldn't take care of her, she was so out of control. I wish you luck and be careful, she doesn't realize what she's doing.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,672
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: 82 yr old mother and dementia/very violent...

I am so sorry you are going through this. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and hopefully you will get the help you need.

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Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,628
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: 82 yr old mother and dementia/very violent...

On 12/21/2014 LoriMI said:

See an Attorney to petition the court for guardianship. You can have the state be the guardian. The court appointed guardian can legally place the person in a facility to benefit her needs. If she leaves, the police can legally take her back to the facility.

You have to be safe yourself.

I agree with this & also POA. There has to be some help somewhere. Please stay safe & keep us posted on what happens. My mom also has Dementia, but not to this degree. I have heard it can turn into violence.

Honored Contributor
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Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: 82 yr old mother and dementia/very violent...

Clearly this woman needs to be placed in a hospital where she can be properly medicated to prevent her injuring herself or someone else -- then depending upon how she is after the medications are given would define where she could go long term. As for the OP saying the hospital would not keep her because she was violent - I find that pretty hard to believe because nurses and doctors have to deal with this sort of thing every day - the patient would need to be restrained until she was sedated then sedation and antipsycotic drugs would be used. It is also very clear that she can't be cared for at home.

Just call 911 and tell them she is violent and needs to be hospitalized.

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Re: 82 yr old mother and dementia/very violent...

On 12/22/2014 happy housewife said:

Clearly this woman needs to be placed in a hospital where she can be properly medicated to prevent her injuring herself or someone else -- then depending upon how she is after the medications are given would define where she could go long term. As for the OP saying the hospital would not keep her because she was violent - I find that pretty hard to believe because nurses and doctors have to deal with this sort of thing every day - the patient would need to be restrained until she was sedated then sedation and antipsycotic drugs would be used. It is also very clear that she can't be cared for at home.

Just call 911 and tell them she is violent and needs to be hospitalized.

Not all hospitals are equipped to handle violent patients. Very few nursing assistance facilities will accept a violent patient as they are not equipped to. You cannot have a violent person come into a hospital full of physically ill people attacking them and tearing up things. The danger to the patients is tenfold when you have a violent person tearing out tubes, catheters, breaking medicines, etc.

There is help for the OP, through a judge who she can petition to hear her case and have her mother involuntarily committed and evaluated. The police should have already apprised her of this if they found the mother to be violent to such degree she is a harm to herself and others.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: 82 yr old mother and dementia/very violent...

On 12/22/2014 namealreadytaken said:
On 12/22/2014 happy housewife said:

Clearly this woman needs to be placed in a hospital where she can be properly medicated to prevent her injuring herself or someone else -- then depending upon how she is after the medications are given would define where she could go long term. As for the OP saying the hospital would not keep her because she was violent - I find that pretty hard to believe because nurses and doctors have to deal with this sort of thing every day - the patient would need to be restrained until she was sedated then sedation and antipsycotic drugs would be used. It is also very clear that she can't be cared for at home.

Just call 911 and tell them she is violent and needs to be hospitalized.

Not all hospitals are equipped to handle violent patients. Very few nursing assistance facilities will accept a violent patient as they are not equipped to. You cannot have a violent person come into a hospital full of physically ill people attacking them and tearing up things. The danger to the patients is tenfold when you have a violent person tearing out tubes, catheters, breaking medicines, etc.

There is help for the OP, through a judge who she can petition to hear her case and have her mother involuntarily committed and evaluated. The police should have already apprised her of this if they found the mother to be violent to such degree she is a harm to herself and others.

Violent patients are brought to emergency rooms all the time. I worked there - i know! They are sedated and restrained asap. Certainly no patient is allowed to affect any other patient's care - non violent or violent - I don't know where you got that idea that you certainly are not aware of how things are done!I have seen patients do everything from trying to kidnap nurses to trying to rape nurses to beating, kicking , screaming , biting , throwing things at nurses. It all gets dealt with - patients get restrained and sedated - happens all the time.

Contributor
Posts: 37
Registered: ‎09-22-2010

Re: 82 yr old mother and dementia/very violent...

Hello

My mother who will be 92 in January 2015 has dementia. She was a little violent but never out of control to the extent you are talking about. She only knows my brother who is her caregiver, and I and my daughter sit with her on Monday nights. We take turns while my brother attends his meetings. My family wanted to put her in a nursing home but I refused that idea, however, I think maybe you should consider having her housed in a nursing home. They can sedate her which would help with the violent outbreaks. My mother seems to never sleep and would get out of the house but now there is a deadbolt lock so she can't open the open because it requires a key, therefore she is never left alone to eliminate the need to get out of the house, someone is always with her. I am sorry that you are experiencing this but I truly understand and its heartbreaking to know that your mother doesn't know you, my mother don't know who I am. So I think it might be time for you to look into how to have her put in a nursing home so she can be cared for, assisting living might not be the best way for her being care for. I wish you much success and all of my heartfelt wishes go with you. I know what you are experiencing first hand. God bless you!!!