A Flight Attendant's Guide to Complaining Effectively

World Traveler · ‎02-02-2015

Jet lag, flight delays, crammed airplane seats….getting from point A to point B doesn’t always bring out the best in us. But to make it through some of travel’s most stressful scenarios, you have to stay calm and choose your words wisely.

Last year, I saw this article by Cassie Shortsleeve, written for the Conde Nast Traveler magazine. Maybe it will be helpful to you.

Speak like this for smooth sailing through any want-to-pull-your-hair-out-and-scream situation.

You need the flight attendant – SAY: “My name,” suggests Joe Thomas, a flight attendant for nine years for a major airline. “Hi, Joe. Can you help me with this person I’m sitting next to?” comes across a whole lot different than, “I need you to fix this,” he tells Conde Nast Traveler. “It makes me feel like you took the time to remember my name and to speak to me like I’m not your servant, but that we’re there on the plane together.” Asking for help can switch on a compassionate side in someone else. If they empathize with you, they’ll be more likely to assist, says Andrew Newberg, M.D., co-author of Words Can Change Your Brain.

You have a complaint – SAY: “I know this isn’t your fault, but I have a complaint. Whom can I direct it to?” “Ticket agents, gate agents, and flight attendants take ****** from people all day who think they have been wronged,” says Julie Hickman, a corporate flight attendant. But chances are, the person you’re about to vent to isn’t the person who caused your problem (or can fix it, for that matter). Filing a complaint online or in a post-flight survey are both good bets, says Thomas. Want an in-person conversation? Try a gate agent and ask for a supervisor, he says. Be brief, too. “Research shows that a person’s brain can only hold onto about 30 seconds worth of data,” says Newberg. Explain the situation and suggest the resolution you’re looking for, he suggests.

Your Bag is Lost – SAY: “I know you are doing your best, but it’s important I get my luggage by XYZ time. Can you help me?” Take a few deep breaths or a nice deep yawn to relax yourself before you speak, says Newberg. Force a smile too. The brain has mirror neurons that mimic internally what a person sees in another, he says. “If you begin the encounter with a smile, it will make the person trying to help you smile inside and produce a more positive emotional stance.”

You Want a Better Experience – SAY: “I know how hard you guys work.” There might not be words to score a free first-class upgrade, but Thomas says compassionate travelers usually benefit. So do gift-bearers. “Chocolate makes everything better,” he says. “If a flight attendant knows you brought something, they’ll likely come up and say thanks; that can lead to free drinks, free movies, and if there were seats available, that would be your chance.”

Group 5 minus 1 · ‎03-11-2010

Puleease!!

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

Am I understanding this correctly? The flight attendants now want you to bring them chocolates? Wow...just when you think you've heard everything!

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli

Alter Ego · ‎03-12-2010

I've seen the chocolate thing a few times, and agree that it's eye roll worthy. I suppose if you travel very often such that you see people regularly, you will presumably built up a relationship so gifts aren't strange. But, I can't imagine myself just giving something to a flight attendant I just met (and frankly have little demands of.). A smile and sincere thank you should suffice.

Irish1210 · ‎06-30-2014

I think most of these tips are generic and would be helpful when dealing with anyone out in the world. Being polite and using good manners rather than sounding bossy and pushy has always been more the successful route when dealing with others : )

However, the chocolates......................that's over the top silly!

Mz iMac · ‎07-26-2014

"Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."

Yardlie · ‎03-10-2010

@Irish1210 wrote:
I think most of these tips are generic and would be helpful when dealing with anyone out in the world. Being polite and using good manners rather than sounding bossy and pushy has always been more the successful route when dealing with others : )

However, the chocolates......................that's over the top silly!

I agree...courtesy is always en vogue. But...the chocolate makes me wonder what the pilot expects to receive so that you arrive at your destination on time and alive.

A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal. ~~ Steve Maraboli

Mz iMac · ‎07-26-2014

@Yardlie wrote:
@Irish1210 wrote:
I think most of these tips are generic and would be helpful when dealing with anyone out in the world. Being polite and using good manners rather than sounding bossy and pushy has always been more the successful route when dealing with others : )

However, the chocolates......................that's over the top silly!
I agree...courtesy is always en vogue. But...the chocolate makes me wonder what the pilot expects to receive so that you arrive at your destination on time and alive.

An open invitation to the MHC? <--look it up.

"Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference."

AKgirl2 · ‎05-24-2016

@Mz iMac wrote:
@Yardlie wrote:
@Irish1210 wrote:
I think most of these tips are generic and would be helpful when dealing with anyone out in the world. Being polite and using good manners rather than sounding bossy and pushy has always been more the successful route when dealing with others : )

However, the chocolates......................that's over the top silly!
I agree...courtesy is always en vogue. But...the chocolate makes me wonder what the pilot expects to receive so that you arrive at your destination on time and alive.
An open invitation to the MHC? <--look it up.