Re: Losing/ gaining weight

culebra · ‎03-11-2010

My son got married this past August. It took 11 months, but I lost 32 pounds. No one has even mentioned it to me.

SeaMaiden · ‎03-10-2010

It is a touchy subject weight gain.... no one feels good when they gain weight and just having it pointed out is just more bad feelings on top of already feeling bad....

Our society frown so much on being overweight that it is just not something someone needs pointed out.

Alison Wonderland · ‎02-05-2018

@OKPrincess wrote:
A while back, one of my friends was diagnosed with leukemia and the medicine she was put on caused her to gain weight.

I hadn’t seen her in a couple of years and was surprised when I ran into her a few months ago at Sam’s.

You never really know why weight gain or loss.

I blame my weight gain on retirement and depression because of a loved one.

It's true. I have a friend with a terrible disease. She's often in pain and some days cannot remember words or how to do things like brush her teeth. She's 36.

She goes through periods where she loses weight because she's too sick to eat and whenever that happens, without fail, people tell her how great and healthy she looks.

On another web forum, I recently saw a woman say she had unexplainable weight loss of 10 pounds in a month. She said she hadn't changed her eating habits, wasn't feeling depressed or unwell, and had no major life or schedule changes, but had no idea what could be causing it. Most people congratulated her, a few people told her to get a health screening as a precaution, and one woman said she would never question a weight loss because it was always welcome.

Our society equates weight-loss with health, full stop.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@Ibby114 wrote:
@Shanus wrote:
If someone I know has lost weight, I feel comfortable complimenting them. They deserve to be noticed after that tough work. On the other hand, I’d say nothing to someone who looked heavier. Why would you intentially hurt them?
@Shanus however there are many times someone has lost weight due to illness &/or the related treatments. Commenting on weight specifically (rather than just saying 'you look great!') can have repercussions either way.

@Ibby114 True. It’s a cwap shoot. If they’re fine, they’re happy you noticed. If they’ve been ill, they get my “so sorry to hear that” & a big hug. Win/win.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@culebra wrote:
My son got married this past August. It took 11 months, but I lost 32 pounds. No one has even mentioned it to me.

@culebraWould you have liked for them to notice & compliment you or glad they just kept quiet?

San Antonio Gal · ‎05-18-2017

@suzyQ3 wrote:
The husband of a friend mine was very overweight. He finally decided to lose pounds, and he did. His wife told me that he was frustrated and hurt that no one noticed. So there's that, too.

I'm surprised that anyone doesn't know that it's a compliment to recognize purposeful weight loss and an insult to mention weight gain. Really?

OTOH, I think any mention of weight can be tricky. I recall two "friends" of mine making fun of me for being so thin. And when I say "making fun of," I mean rude insults. One of them had to relay to me how her husband hates when a women's thighs don't meet, while looking at me in jeans. They both mocked me for my thinness in other ways as well.

That's so mean of these so called friends to say that to you!

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@suzyQ3 wrote:
The husband of a friend mine was very overweight. He finally decided to lose pounds, and he did. His wife told me that he was frustrated and hurt that no one noticed. So there's that, too.

I'm surprised that anyone doesn't know that it's a compliment to recognize purposeful weight loss and an insult to mention weight gain. Really?

OTOH, I think any mention of weight can be tricky. I recall two "friends" of mine making fun of me for being so thin. And when I say "making fun of," I mean rude insults. One of them had to relay to me how her husband hates when a women's thighs don't meet, while looking at me in jeans. They both mocked me for my thinness in other ways as well.

@suzyQ3 Hi. Are they still “friends”? I’d show them the door.

mom2four0418 · ‎04-23-2010

@Shanus however there are many times someone has lost weight due to illness &/or the related treatments. Commenting on weight specifically (rather than just saying 'you look great!') can have repercussions either way.

ITA Eating disorders affect all ages, sizes & ethnic groups. Why not just compliment someone on how great they are rather than how they look?

“The soul is healed by being with children.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

@mom2four0418 wrote:

@Shanus however there are many times someone has lost weight due to illness &/or the related treatments. Commenting on weight specifically (rather than just saying 'you look great!') can have repercussions either way.
ITA Eating disorders affect all ages, sizes & ethic groups. Why not just compliment someone on how great they are rather than how they look?

@mom2four0418 Sometimes it’s more appropriate to just say, “Hi, so happy to see you” & other times, I may have another greeting. Nothing’s set in stone. I always try to be tactful and not intentionally hurt someone’s feelings.

mom2four0418 · ‎04-23-2010

@Shanus wrote:
@mom2four0418 wrote:

@Shanus however there are many times someone has lost weight due to illness &/or the related treatments. Commenting on weight specifically (rather than just saying 'you look great!') can have repercussions either way.
ITA Eating disorders affect all ages, sizes & ethic groups. Why not just compliment someone on how great they are rather than how they look?

@mom2four0418 Sometimes it’s more appropriate to just say, “Hi, so happy to see you” & other times, I may have another greeting. Nothing’s set in stone. I always try to be tactful and not intentionally hurt someone’s feelings.