Frequent Contributor
Posts: 91
Registered: ‎03-18-2010

Why does letting them go have to be so hard??

On Friday I had to let my sweet grandma kitty (Betty) go. We adopted her just over 5 years ago. At that time she was 13-14 years old. She had a few medical issues, but we took care of them right away. She stayed in her safe room for months and then started to venture out slowly. It was a joy to watch her come out of her shell. We have 6 other cats, but everyone adjusted fine and pretty much left her alone. She loved attention and would want to sit on my lap all the time, but she never layed down, so one day I took her front legs and stretched her out on my lap, since that moment she became a true lap kitty, completely laying down. Then as time went on she stopped eating and lost weight, took her to the vet and she was in the beginning stages of renal failure. She stayed, got her strength back, put her on special food and she did quite well. She had ups and downs, but this year her back legs were bothering her, she had trouble getting up, walking, the vet said she had severe arthritis, we were given liquid pain meds for her and got very low litter boxes. I stay at home, so I always kept a close eye on her. The past couple weeks her eating become much less, she had lost weight and her ability to walk was bad. With renal failure she had to use the litter box often and to watch have to walk there many times a day killed me. Last week it became very clear it was time, so on Friday me and my husband both went to the vet to let her go. It was my first outing since the virus. I have heart issues, so my husband does the errands. Out vet is so sweet and gently and he let me know it was the right thing to do. It was hard, but I handled it ok. The weekend was not too bad, but today it totally sucks. My husband is working and normally she is always near me. I spent so much time watchiing her, giving her meds, and always offering her soft food throughout the day. Even with six other cats, my house is completely empty without her. I hate this. This has been a horrible day and I can't stop crying. I know it will get better and I have been through this many times, but as I get older it seems harder. I also feel somewhat guilty and wonder if we waited too long. I truly hope not. In time I hope to possibly adopt another senior or special needs cat. But right now it just sucks. Sorry for the long post.


This is Betty:

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Honored Contributor
Posts: 18,559
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: Why does letting them go have to be so hard??




If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.

You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.

We've had so many happy years.
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
The time has come -- please let me go.

Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me till the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.

I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.

Please do not grieve -- it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years;
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.

--- Anonymous ---

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,114
Registered: ‎08-21-2014

Re: Why does letting them go have to be so hard??

Beautiful kitty. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,426
Registered: ‎09-22-2017

Re: Why does letting them go have to be so hard??



I am so sorry. Betty was so beautiful.Heart



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Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,186
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: Why does letting them go have to be so hard??

We're their MOMMY and CARETAKER --- that's why it's so painful when they're sick!!!!!

Super Contributor
Posts: 327
Registered: ‎07-13-2013

Re: Why does letting them go have to be so hard??

[ Edited ]

So sorry for your loss Betty  Elvislover, I know and understand your grief I lost my baby girl about 2 years ago,  she was 14.5 yr .old cat had her since 7 weeks old,some days are easy some not.I will say a Prayer for her and think of her this eve. we have a chat and Candle service every Monday eve. 10 p.m please join us it  is a nice grpoup of other pet lovers  lost pets,it is canlde lighting, poems and  lighting f the candles it last about less  than .30 minutes and some stay on longer to chat that is up to the membe, there is a one time a month chat candle service on Sunday, 2nd Sunday of the month.

Please join us if you feel up to it tonight or any Monday eve., I will be there under my baby girl's name Sierra.take care Bless you, your  husband & Betty.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,833
Registered: ‎03-15-2010

Re: Why does letting them go have to be so hard??



Sadly, we all know how you are feeling.


The loss of my beloved kitties through the years has left me physically ill many times.  All were strays.


I wish I had some magic words to ease the pain, but I have not found them.


I've one senior cat left and, when he departs, there will be no more.  I ease my pain somewhat, by helping rescues with food and supplies.


Betty was beautiful and you are lucky to have found each other.



Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,195
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: Why does letting them go have to be so hard??

So very sorry for your loss.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 53,446
Registered: ‎03-10-2010

Re: Why does letting them go have to be so hard??

@savetheanimals    The downside of having a pet is that they unfairly don't have a lifespan to match ours.  Eventually we always have to say, "goodbye" to them and it's heart-wrenching.


Betty was a beautiful cat and it sounds as though she had a happy life with you.  Time will heal your pain.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment
Honored Contributor
Posts: 14,911
Registered: ‎10-25-2010

Re: Why does letting them go have to be so hard??

Your Betty was a beautiful Kitty.  I am so sorry for your loss.  I know from experience how difficult it is to loss your beloved fur baby.


It hurts, but as time goes forward, you will remember the good memories and not the bad.


You were both so fortunate to have found one another. Thank you for caring for Betty.  You were a wonderful parent, especially to adopt her at such a Senior age.


Sending God's blessings to you.