Pet Lovers

[NickNack]

I agree with tends2dogs.  I was just reading something on Bark Post about 7 Signs Your Dog Is In Pain.  One of them was:  "Demeanor--Some dogs can become defensive if they are hurting.  If an otherwise friendly, well behaved pup snaps at you, you may want to take him or her to the Vet to get checked out."  I know Buddy sees the Vet regularly, but something has obviously drastically changed.  I know this is such a sad time for you, and again, I'm very sorry.

[bichon mom]

I am so sorry for what you are going through. This has to be one of the most difficult time for you. I do feel, however, that Buddy is trying to tell you that he is hurting. Don't ever doubt that he loves you. You have never given him anything but love! We just love our furbabies so much and would love them to live forever. Sending you a big hug!

[Karnerblue]

@bichon mom, @tends2dogs, @GingerPeach thank you all for your kind words.  It is truly a most difficult time.  I just lost my poor little guineau pig last week ... I had grown quite attached to her.  I still come home from work and prepare her lettuce and carrots and then it hits me, she's gone.  On top of that I really do feel Buddy is trying to tell me he's hurting.  He looks so sad all the time.  His breathing even sounds strained.

My husband gets furious when I bring up the subject.  He really does love Buddy but I feel he's thinking of himself and not what's best for Buddy.  He is that way with everything .. he's a procrastinator and willl only deal with something when faced with no other option.  Instead of counting on him for support and as a partner, I find myself dealing with this alone.  I just don't want Buddy to hurt and it tears me up inside to know he is, but it's all on my shoulders and ultimately I will have to make the decision myself.  I think my husband will resent me for it and life will be really hell after this is over.  This is what I'm dealing with every day. 

[GingerPeach]

Dear @Karnerblue

As hard as it is having to be in the middle, I think you'll need to take your husband "out of the equation" when it comes to this decision.  

Take care of Buddy, do what Buddy needs, and the rest will fall into place.  I'm not saying any of this is easy, but sometimes we need to get out of our own way.  I hope that makes sense.

I am sending supportive thoughts your way.

[ccassaday]

So sorry. Two days before Jake passed he was coughing. Sounded like he has something stuck in his throat.

You need to have a heart to heart convo with your husband. My dog we had as a kid got very old and sick. My dad came home and took her to the vet and no one got to say goodbye. My mom was at work and us girls were already on our own. I know he was just trying to protect us but it was very hurtful. Your husband needs to do this with you.

[NC Bandwagon]

I'm really sorry for the loss of your guinea pig, Karnerblue. You did the best you could.

And if your dog, Buddy, tried to bite both you and your husband when you both tried to pet him, I think that means he's in pain. Not because he's mad at you or anything. Unfortunately, animals are good at hiding their pain, so most people won't know that something is wrong with their animal.

Aside from the people on this forum, do you have any friends that you can talk to or anything? If not, the people on this forum can always be your shoulder to lean on.

[MaggieMack]

@Karnerblue, it definitely sounds like a reaction to pain to me, too. He might be trying to let you know in the only way he can that a life filled with so much pain isn't worth living. Just a thought.   

[geezerette]

Karnerblue,

I have to agree with the others about Buddy trying to bite both you and your husband.  My dog started to do this quite a long time before she passed, and at first, I didn't catch on because she was only doing it when I groomed her and I thought she just didn't want to be bothered with that anymore.  Then when she started experiencing other physical problems it dawned on me that she was hurting when I put her in certain positions. 

As for your husband and his lack of accepting reality, I'd bring the vet into the equation.  What does your vet say about Buddy's condition at this point, and his now wanting to bite?  If you can lay the decision at the foot of the professional, maybe your husband won't blame you.  If you can increase or change Buddy's pain medication so that he's not hurting, go for it.  But I'd consult the vet again, and depending on your relationship with him/her, perhaps even tell him/her what the situation is with your husband.  I'm sure that vets experience this all the time, and perhaps he/she may have a suggestion or two for you about how to deal with it.  Explain that your only objective is to relieve Buddy's pain, no matter what that entails.  Then your vet can give you a medical opinion, and you can take that to you husband regardless.  Any decent vet will tell you when they've done all they can, and that it's now time to put your pet out of its misery, if that's the case.  (It may not be yet with Buddy.)

I truly would hate to be in your position.  I've had to go through this several times, the last just some months ago as I mentioned, but my husband, although grieving, has always supported my decisions since I'm the one with the responsibility for all our animals.

And I'm sorry to hear about your guinea pig.  I used to have one years ago and got quite attached to it.  When our dog passed a few months ago, if I hadn't had our cat left, I think I truly would have gone into a medical depression.  It's amazing how much emotional stability animals can bring into your life.  And they force us to go on when we really don't want to.

Everything seems to be hitting you at once.  Hang in there as best you can.  Let us know how Buddy is coming along when you're up to it.  We're here for you.  Thoughts and prayers.

[bichon mom]

I really feel for you Karnerblue! You seem to be feeling very much alone. It sounds like Buddy is definitely more connected to you than your hubby. None of us live in your shoes but it appears that you may have to make the decision for Buddy, whether or not it is now or later. When you feel that Buddy is hurting please take him to a vet and don't let your husband make him suffer. You sound like a really loving and compassionate lady who is a bit fearful of what hubby will think. This saddens me! I hope that you will always have a furbaby in your life! That way you never feel alone. Take good care!

[NYwoman]

I had a flash back about my Holly today ( it's been 11 months) and my thoughts went to you and Buddy.     I hope you are coping and communicating.     Every movement at this point tells you what he needs from you.    Open your heart and listen.     Take every moment as precious.    

{{{{{  Karnerblue and Buddy  }}}}}     My prayers are with both of you.