Mom to Mom

[LilacTree]

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@gmkb wrote:

I find it interesting how these things have changed.  When I was 20 and 21 I was living in my parents home, where I was expected to stay until marriage.

My daughter went to China while in college and lived there for a semester and then backpacked all over Europe for a few months.  My other children stayed home and went to school. Nerve wracking for me; fun for her.

Now my granddaughter is off to Madagascar for an internship and her brother is off to the Marines when he graduates this June.  Considering the problems in the world, very very frightening.

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Yes, very.  Considering NYC seems to be the target for foreign aspirations.  The entire East Coast is a target.  And the West Coast too, with that North Korean maniac testing "hydrogen bombs." 

However, that's the new reality we have to live with and our children and grandchildren will hopefully survive.

[LilacTree]

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@queendiva wrote:

Depends on the kid.

DS#1 went away to college for four years plus the following summer, and toured the country with a group the summer before that. Moved home for 2 1/2 years after college and bought a house in December. I still worry about him. At least the fiance is there to keep an eye out for him. He has a health concern that is controlled IF he takes daily meds.

DS #2 is graduating from college in May in a nearby state, then going across the country for temporary military duty assignment probably late summer until holidays. I never worry about him, ever.

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Yes it does.

[LilacTree]

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@tedEbear wrote:

@LilacTree--I feel your pain.  In my case I moved and have spent years missing her so much.  She went off to a cold, snowy state for college.  We are SoCAL people. That was a worry, but she was fine and loved it.  She was on the Varsity Softball all 4 years of college, tons of flying, and bus trips around the country.  Last year of college she went to Spain for a semester.  She really loved that!!!  At least she calls to let me know she arrived safely, she knows my Panic Attack issues.  Most of my family lets me know when they have landed safely.  

   You will get better at the deep sadness you feel.   THEN when she gets her big break  you will be here, letting us know of this FAMOUS STAR!!!!!!-------------tedEbear

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Doubt that will happen and she will be happy with the journey if it doesn't.  Right now she is on Cloud Nine!!

[LilacTree]

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@KingstonsMom wrote:

@LilacTree

Letting them go is so, so hard, but I have to refer to my siggy line.

'You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have'. 

They all find their wings, as it should be.

She sounds like a fine young lady with plans in place and has her friends, so she's not alone.

Just try not to worry too much, it could affect your health, but I know from experience that is much easier to say than to do.

My best wishes to her and her friends in their exciting new adventure!

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I like your siggy line.  It has been therapeutic to participate in this discussion.  Thank you all.

[Dominosmom]

Try to visit her sooner than later. It may help you sleep better at night knowing first hand that she is okay. My son moved in NYC several years ago, I got myself there for a short visit aft he moved and it helps me to know what he is talking about. I know he lives in a safe place.

[LilacTree]

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@Dominosmom wrote:

Try to visit her sooner than later. It may help you sleep better at night knowing first hand that she is okay. My son moved in NYC several years ago, I got myself there for a short visit aft he moved and it helps me to know what he is talking about. I know he lives in a safe place.

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That may not happen with my disabilities.  But she is going to send me photos and videos.  She was there when the blizzard started and sent me photos of her dancing around in the snow during the early part of the storm.  She reminds me of "The Unsinkable Molly Brown!"

[Mj12]

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@ilovefall wrote:

I don't normally post my views on any of these blogs but felt I needed to on this one.  Our son, who will turn 21 in April, joined the Air Force Reserves.  He leaves for San Antonio, TX on Feb. 16th....15 short days.  My eyes well up just thinking about it.  He has a really good head on his shoulders and has always wanted to go into some type of military.  I am thankful he didn't enlist full time.  He wants to be a police officer.  He went to school and received his associates in Criminal Justice.  He has NEVER flown.  Whenever we take vacations, we drive.  Even on our cruises...we drive to NY and depart from there.  None of us have ever felt the need to fly somewhere.  That makes me nervous.  I'm sure he's nervous too.  Then there is the whole basic training.  He know what he's getting into and he knows it will be hard the first few weeks but he's looking forward to it.  He only gets two phone calls in the eight weeks he will be there.  One on the fourth day of arrival and then one about half way into training.  Other than that, it's writing letters.  I know my husband and I are going to lose it when we bring him to the airport.  I am dreading that day.  We will fly to Texas in April for his graduation.  The 'job' he will be doing will take him to California.  He will come home (CT) in August.  We will be Skyping during that time.  Our oldest is planning on moving out with his girlfriend in the next few months.  Our life is going to change drastically.  I know everything changes, and it will be good, but I'm having an extremely difficult time with all of this.  Thanks for listening.

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@ilovefall - I wish your son the very best of luck with his new adventure!  And to your family too in adjusting.

[Tantallum]

From a different perspective, I think you are very fortunate to see your granddaughter off on her adventure at 21 years old.  I am 36, and if I'm lucky I will have a baby.  My sister's daughter is barely 2.  My parents are in their mid-late 60s and they are not in the best of health.  I am sad to say they will likely not be around to see my niece (or my child if I have one) to their 21st birthday.

Enjoy them, and do not be sad. 

[Carmie]

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@ilovefall wrote:

I don't normally post my views on any of these blogs but felt I needed to on this one.  Our son, who will turn 21 in April, joined the Air Force Reserves.  He leaves for San Antonio, TX on Feb. 16th....15 short days.  My eyes well up just thinking about it.  He has a really good head on his shoulders and has always wanted to go into some type of military.  I am thankful he didn't enlist full time.  He wants to be a police officer.  He went to school and received his associates in Criminal Justice.  He has NEVER flown.  Whenever we take vacations, we drive.  Even on our cruises...we drive to NY and depart from there.  None of us have ever felt the need to fly somewhere.  That makes me nervous.  I'm sure he's nervous too.  Then there is the whole basic training.  He know what he's getting into and he knows it will be hard the first few weeks but he's looking forward to it.  He only gets two phone calls in the eight weeks he will be there.  One on the fourth day of arrival and then one about half way into training.  Other than that, it's writing letters.  I know my husband and I are going to lose it when we bring him to the airport.  I am dreading that day.  We will fly to Texas in April for his graduation.  The 'job' he will be doing will take him to California.  He will come home (CT) in August.  We will be Skyping during that time.  Our oldest is planning on moving out with his girlfriend in the next few months.  Our life is going to change drastically.  I know everything changes, and it will be good, but I'm having an extremely difficult time with all of this.  Thanks for listening.

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I feel for you and I have gone through the same thing with my oldest son.  The only difference is that he enlisted full time in the Air Force.  I cried like a baby at the airport.  He was the first to actually go far away first.  I was so afraid that he would see the world and not want to return to our home state to live afterward.

Well, he did return four years later and he was married to a girl he met while stationed in NC.  They now have two beautiful children and he is a police officer.  The military experience opened doors for him... And his wife as she was in the Army.  The live about seven miles from us.

I have to add that the military was good for him.  He went in a boy and came out a man with an improved attitude and lease on life.

The hardest and most difficult thing we do as parents is let our children grow up and move on with their life.  We know we must so it, but it isn't easy.

[LilacTree]

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@LilacTree wrote:

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@jackthebear wrote:

the time to live in a cheap and tiny apt in Manhattan IS when you are young and think is an adventure.  My daughter did it for 4 years,

Let her have that chance you only get it once

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This apartment is quite large and not cheap.  They scaled it as to who pays what.  I believe they have done their homework on that issue.  The wealthier parents are probably paying some of this as they are most likely happy their kids are with their friends.  We did not discuss it (it is not my business).

I'm hoping it will go well, they've been planning it for many months.

Four years is a long time.  Did she come back?

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ETA:

My granddaughter just sent me photos of the apartment.  My goodness, it's beautiful!  Completely renovated obviously.  I wish I had a kitchen like that, high quality appliances, new plank-type white cabinets . . . this is no cheap and tiny apartment.  I guess the wealthy parents of two of the girls have something to do with it, otherwise I don't know how they ever got a deal like this.