Mom to Mom

[CalminHeart]

OP's job was to prepare her daughter for the real world and to be independent. That obviously didn't happen, at least to the degree it should have. 

Get off the guilt trip. It affects you and doesn't have the slightest impact on your daughter - except to give her ammunition against you.

It's time to pay the piper....both, the OP and the daughter. Your daughter will thank you someday.

.

[Kaf2]

Very well said @CalminHeart!

[RedTop]

@Beautiful life 

Sending a wish that life is moving along smoothly for you and your family.  Take care!

[Sassycoco]

@CatsyCline

As parents we do our best. We're not perfect, we're human ...we all make mistakes.

One thing I can tell you is ,WE CANT FIX EVERYTHING ! Took me a while to finally realize that!
This is strictly my opinion....I think your daughter should figure things out on her own. There will be a day ,she'll come to you for help ....Be there ....
Until then, try not to say could ,would, should of done this ,that.
It's not easy ,I know .... try and be kind to yourself. In your heart, you believe you have done your best? That's ALL you need to know.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers 🙏 ❤️

[RedTop]

@Sassycoco 

To clarify, the OP of this thread is @Beautiful life, and this is about her daughter.   The post was typed on a cell phone without paragraphs.  The poster you replied to only edited the post to make it easier to read.  

[CatsyCline]

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@Sassycoco wrote:
@CatsyCline

As parents we do our best. We're not perfect, we're human ...we all make mistakes.

One thing I can tell you is ,WE CANT FIX EVERYTHING ! Took me a while to finally realize that!
This is strictly my opinion....I think your daughter should figure things out on her own. There will be a day ,she'll come to you for help ....Be there ....
Until then, try not to say could ,would, should of done this ,that.
It's not easy ,I know .... try and be kind to yourself. In your heart, you believe you have done your best? That's ALL you need to know.
I will keep you and your family in my prayers 🙏 ❤️

---

@Sassycoco   THIS WAS NOIT MY POST! SOMEHOW MY POST WS A COPY OF THE OP's POST!  HAVE NOTFIED THE MODS

[RedTop]

@CatsyCline 

This post is months old and at the time it looked like you responded by editing it into paragraphs to make it easier to read.  

[CatsyCline]

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@RedTop wrote:

@CatsyCline 

This post is months old and at the time it looked like you responded by editing it into paragraphs to make it easier to read.  

---

@RedTop   oh geez!!   thank you!!!    that sounds like something (make paragraphs)  i would do!!

 of course, now my memory is toast!   just couldnt figure out why@sassycoco tagged me.  makes sense now!! 

[CalminHeart]

Obviously, what you've done up to now hasn't worked. You can't change her but you can change yourself.

Most important, stop enabling.

Get counseling for yourself.

Stop responding to abusive talk.  

Walk away when it gets rough.

Stop hovering.

Stop trying to control her.

Stop talking about the bf.

Change the locks.

Don't always answer the phone when she calls. Hang up if she is abusive.

Let her figure her own things out. She's a grownup now.

Pray.

Do it for your own peace of mind and heart.

[Trailrun23]

Stop giving her money or apologizing. She has chosen her life and who she wants to spend it with. She will feel regret years from now, but you cannot change her. Move on with your life and spend it with your dear son. She needs to grow up and be on her own; she truly isn't if she still allows a man to take advantage of her. I am sorry you are going through this but you clearly are not alone; sadly, many of us are dealing with similar
"problem children"

A mother's heart is easy to break. I have a daughter who suddently stopped communicating with me after being very close and talking once a day. She is married with three of my grandkids. They sold their house, moved out of state, and I have seen her on FB a few times, but no phone calls, texts, etc. She is a big star among her friends, and if they ever knew how she treats her mother they would be appalled. I have no idea what her issue is, but I know it isn't me or her father's.