Baby shower uh oh

Coastalcarolina · ‎04-02-2015

Desertdi · ‎03-13-2010

I have NO IDEA what the "current manners" are. I've been invited to a wedding shower given by the bride herself.

♥Surface of the Sun♥

haddon9 · ‎03-09-2010

Congratulations on the new addition to your family! I'm also a first time grandma and my daughter had her baby, a little boy in February.

At first we weren't going to have a shower but after thinking it over we decided to go for it and had it in January. I never have parties of any kind at that time of year but since the baby was due in early March (he came a few weeks early in mid February) we decided to have the shower in mid January. It turned out to be very nice even though there were several people who could not attend due to illness.

The shower was a brunch held at a restaurant in a private room. My daughter wanted all of her friends and we didn't have an issue on who to invite or not. I'm surprised that your DIL doesn't want her husband's cousins to attend but it sounds to me that she wants things to be very low key.

After all they have been married for ten years and wanted to keep the news a secret for some time. Maybe she is the type who doesn't like a lot of fuss over her?

My daughter is 37 and only got married last May. She got pregnant right away and told me that over the years she had been to so many weddings & baby showers....she felt that now it was her turn.

So everyone is different. I can understand how it seems hurtful that your DIL doesn't want more extended family.

ThinkingOutLoud · ‎05-01-2020

First, congrats!

A few thoughts:

- If the shower is for her* then why shouldn't she have a say in who comes?

- If it's to please her and make her feel special, why wouldn't you want it to be how she'd prefer?

- Some people don't like being the center of attention or large groups. That's not wrong nor should it be considered selfish or hurtful.

- Perhaps she doesn't need the gifts and doesn't want to put people out or she'd prefer to pick out her own stuff but doesn't want people to know that and not having more people there makes that easier.

*not everything is about you or your nieces

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

Congratulations on your upcoming grandchild.

If I were in your shoes, I would be hurt. What's up with your DIL?

Where I come from, the people paying for the shower do the inviting, not the recipient. Most baby showers are surprises...even tho the upcoming mothers probably expect them.

This isn't a trend in my area. I think your DIL and her mother need a course on manners. You where only inviting six people, but expected to feed the whole party of people.

I suppose you will have to stew in silence. It's not worth it to rock the boat, but you are certainly entitled to your feelings.

Be prepared to be the "other grandmother" when the baby is born. I have a feeling this behavior is not going to get better.

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

i am going to be a first time grandmother in july and cannot wait! the baby shower is being held mid june.

my daughter and i are planning the luncheon baby shower at a nearby restaurant along with some input from my pregnant daughter. we had a large list of people to invite.

the mother in law gave us her list, we had our list, and my daughter had her list. no one was excluded.

any ideas for a giveaway at the shower? we dont want to play the "shower games," but i would like to be able to give away a nice gift or two.

********************************************
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

Somebody has control issues. Just wait until the baby arrives.

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

simplyfriends · ‎12-24-2010

@Coastalcarolina I know you don't want advice but I would say don't rock the boat and honor your DIL"s request for her invite list. I've had to bite my tongue a few times when extended family is not invited but it's not your party. Being a grandma is wonderful...congratulations !