Decluttering greeting cards...I need help or inter... - Page 3

vsm · ‎05-08-2010

@amyb wrote:
@Starpolisher I'm right there with you! I have them mostly in one box, that also has my greeting cards to send. They are from my SO of many years, my best friend and others. Although, now I have in another shoe box, the tons of cards from mom, who passed in 2020. and got me special cards, with sweet words I love to read when I come across one...like a message from beyond at timely moments to me. Those I'm keeping forever. I also have a box of typed letters she wrote to me when I was away at college. Bittersweet, am keeping but not sure I can read them again....as we waited days to see if she'd make it in the hospital, during Covid, not being able to visit...we read those letters out loud, cried and laughed.

So....I'm sentimental to the hilt and keeping them ALL. So many beautiful cards that mean a lot to me from special people, long notes inside. I have gone through a lot and culled those that I could let go of but the rest I'm keeping.

What to do as time goes forward...is a whole other question. I once told my best friend...we need to stop sending cards because I can't keep anymore and I never throw yours out! Lol...that didn't work...and....I'm glad. She still sends beautiful cards.
One day, at her house, out on the deck, we sat, drank tea, and went through her "Amy box" together....trying to recall when/what time of life it was, reminiscing together...it was fun.

SEE....I was no help. I'm sorry. 🤷‍♀️

I have an elderly friend in Virginia, I've known she she babysat me when she was in her 20's, and was our neighbor then. Bless her, I love that she still writes beautiful handwritten cards and letters to me. What a joy to get something other than junk mail! She tells me (she's 89) "I have saved all my cards, to read someday when I'm old"...I guess that day hasn't come yet for her.

I must be the worst of the missive-hoarder bunch. I've saved hundreds of greetings cards, post cards, and letters from family and friends since I was in grade school. They're all in a huge accordion file (the kind with initialed sections) that I keep on the bottom shelf of an armoire. When my best friend of 50 years died a year and a half ago, I vowed I would gather everything she'd sent me and give them to her two sons -- they read like a diary of her life. Haven't been able to bring myself to go through them yet, but I hope to at some point.

Starpolisher · ‎03-10-2010

Thank you everyone! Although most of you who responded are right there with me!(hoarding cards and needing intervevtion to let go) My youngest son has stopped giving me cards for every occasion. He thinks I should throw them all away. Last mother's day he gave me this gigantic card. He said that way I wouldn't be able to save it. It's under the tablecloth in my dining room! I joke with him that I'm leaving him all my cards in my will and he can then do as he chooses with them. For now, I'm going to keep my cards! Every time I let go of something, I soon am looking for it and regretting that I got rid of it! Thanks again Ladies! I enjoyed reading your posts and am happy that I am not the only sentimental one! I feel better now! Oh and by the way, (someone mentioned baby clothes and kids schoolwork) I still have both my son's coming home from the hospital outfits (and lots of their schoolwork from pre k to high school) too! (they'll be 40 and 41 in January) I have two granddaughters so mom didn't want the little blue outfits.

"Kindness is like snow ~It beautifies everything it covers"
-Kahlil Gibran

PamfromCT · ‎05-22-2014

My sweet mom died 12 years ago at age 90. I still have a tiny dress her mother made for her as an infant. I don’t think they had Carter’s back in those days so it was common for moms to sew baby clothes.

amyb · ‎04-05-2010

@PamfromCT wrote:
My sweet mom died 12 years ago at age 90. I still have a tiny dress her mother made for her as an infant. I don’t think they had Carter’s back in those days so it was common for moms to sew baby clothes.

What a treasure @PamfromCT!

I too have items like this...and it is just who I am, to "live" with these things that surround me in my family and life history. It's what I love, so I incorporate it in with things in my home, when it's not just stored in a keepsake box.

I have a friend who does this so well...and usually, as with her, it's people who have a love of old treasures, like to antique, have eclectic surroundings. She loves to walk you through her home, and tell you why this or that means something, see her little vignettes of collections, or a treasure from an old relative that is situated in a way that tells a story.

I've done similarly. For instance, I have my christening gown..right now it hangs inside the door of a bedroom armoire, with a ceramic heart my mom gave me that says: "When I count my blessings I count you twice." ❤️ (lost my mom in 2020...things like this are her voice and whispers, always still around me.)

I have baby clothes people knitted for me as a baby, with homemade felt booties to match...and other things, all in a wooden trunk, that says "Baby", that my maternal grandpa, who was a wood refinisher, made for my mom when she were born.

All to say...(not to say everyone has to do this, I get the desire or lack of need to hold onto "things" also) but I'm with you girl; enjoy those special treasures. xo

Growing · ‎07-12-2020

What emotion do these cards carry for us? Do they validate our being worthy of love or that someone loves us? Do they validate that we are "okay"?

I am being kind of clinical but you asked why you can't trash them. The answer is an emotional need within us. An emotional need that is filled by holding on to these items. It can also be an ingrained habit that validates our thinking of how the world should be. Maybe we think good people save all these things because of X or Y. Maybe we need to let go of this ingrained thinking that involves shoulds or musts. Maybe we need permission to trash these items or know that we are still good people even if we don't keep these "keepsakes" and trash them.

I don't save anything like this. I try to trash them after a couple of weeks or a month if I forget. I am not saying anyone is wrong to save stuff like this, I am just answering why we keep this stuff.

Detachment isn't the absence of love but the ability to take care of yourself in the midst of someone else's choices.

PamfromCT · ‎05-22-2014

@Growing, That’s an interesting question you asked. I do admire people who are still growing, but part of growth could be to accept that others are different from you. My attitude is that people should do what personally makes them happy, as long as they are not hurting anyone or anything.

People save things like cards as tangible remembrances of love, I think. I also think the world needs a lot more love, however people privately and publicly express it. You are entitled to your beliefs, but I am curious to know why people who save remembrances and are sentimental bother you so much.

Mom2Dogs · ‎03-09-2010

@Starpolisher Yes. I go thru the cards/notes on occasion and throw away some of them...I don't know why I cannot just throw them all away.

I still have my baby book, along with the cards that were sent to mom and dad, congratulating my birth. Some of those cards, from the 50's were really nice...pretty colors and illustrations.

I also have the cards sent to my when my mom and dad passed away....those are not getting pitched, when I am gone, some one else can throw those cards away.

AngelPuppy1 · ‎03-13-2010

If you have the room and they are special to you, keep them! I have gotten rid of a lot of cards and other things that now I wish I had kept! At the time we moved into a small house with very little storage space, I was somewhat ruthless about tossing things, and I can't tell you how many times I have lamented that I didn't keep many items that I now feel I should have!!!

As for Christmas cards, I will keep ones from everyone for one year and then discard all but the really special ones, Birthday cards, etc. from really special people, I will now keep them and not discard them --- ever!

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night." - Steve Martin

Carolina925 · ‎03-09-2010

Some of these replies are so sweet. I save some cards, not many. I usually save my Christmas cards until the next year to make sure I don't leave anyone out. It tugs on my heart to see some from those who didn't make it one more year and I save some of those and pull them out each year thereafter. When I was married, I sent cards all the time to my mother-in-law, whom I deeply loved. After my divorce, I kept in touch with her. She had horrible arthritis and couldn't write very well but she would periodically write me back a short note saying she couldn't respond to every card but that she loved getting the mail. She wasn't able to get out much so I think she loved getting real mail. When she passed, one of her daughters sent me a box of the cards & letters I'd sent her through the years, along with a precious little vase that I'd always loved. She said she wanted me to know that the correspondence meant so much to her mother and that her mother always told them how much I loved the vase.

Didn't mean for this to get so long but it's mainly to say that if you love saving and reminiscing through the cards, please continue to do so. We're not all alike and different things have different meanings to us all. No one has the "right" answer, there's no such thing.