Mom to Mom

[temptations fan]

My BF’s 30 year old daughter has decided that she and her child are moving back in with my BF because she has been split from her husband since last fall and she doesn’t want to support herself anymore. She has a decent job and can afford her rent but doesn’t want to give up going out, shopping, getting her nails done, dance lessons for her child and all the other things she blows money on. She also doesn’t want to file for child support from her child’s father because she wants to be nice to him.  I think it is outrageous that she is going to move back in and my BF is not happy about it but won’t say anything because he has been spoiling her all of her life.

Am I the only one that thinks this is terrible or is this normal?

[jackthebear]

wrong not to file for child support, just wrong she will regret that 

[CalminHeart]

I would not let her move home with me since she can afford a place of her own.  Too bad if she doesn't want to take care of herself.  She is an adult and doesn't have that choice.  I also consider it amoral to not file for child support and visitation - it's about the child, not her.  

[Skyegirl21]

I agree with you it is terrible and with other posters that the Father needs to support his child (although This all is not abnormal these days)... 

It might be ok if she moves in as long as it was understood by all as a temporary solution- and it has an end date.. 

However, at 30 yrs old and working, this young Mother should be standing on her own 2 feet, and she will not since your BF is enabling her to be dependent on him.

Maybe he likes it that way? 

In any case, a Tough situation for you as there is not much you can do about it... 

Best wishes-

[mary0129]

What is your BF saying or is she just rolling over and letting this happen?  

[qualitygal]

Right or wrong in this case will hold no water.  What the dad says...will go.  Some people need to experience things anyway.  Don't even get involved.  If dad asks, say little.  I say this assuming he has his own place.

If I am wrong and you two live together............that's another can of worms.

[Snowpuppy]

Daddy spoiled her. That set her up to let her know she just needs to go from man to man and let them be her financial support.

She'll go from dad to BF, have children with them and their grandpa will foot the bill. She'll move out when she finds a new man.

Rinse and repeat.

[software]

My door is always open to my adult children and their kids.

They have landed here from time to time for short periods.

I can't imagine a mother or father denying their child, unless the child is a criminal or drug addict.

I've been very fortunate in my life.   I was always able to take care of myself and never needed help but everyone is not me.

[drizzellla]

I go out with a group of friends as often as we can. And you know what is the most difficult part? Trying to find a day when we are all able to meet. Most of the women are babysitting their grandchildren. 

That may be another big reason why the daughter is moving back into her Mom's house. The daughter will be free to come and go and Mom will watch her grandchild.

[millieshops]

I think "adult child" an oxymoron.  Seems to me there are 2 children moving home and I'm not sure there's an adult in charge, but I'd need to hear from the BF to make that judgment.  I haven't seen her reason for accepting the children into her home even though she's not happy about it.