Home

[greamy]

Don't worry the kids will just put it all in the dumpster, so enjoy your things as long as you want to. I like my "things" so I will enjoy them as long as I am in my right mind, when that goes, who cares what happens to it. My things, that is!

[ilovegreengems]

I know first-hand, as well, how difficult that is! I have been doing the same thing as snickster; they take just about everything, including my old VHS tapes (Bambi, Aladdin). I still had my sons' hot wheels cars and baby books. Still holding on to my older son's baby shoes (he's 25). It is very difficult parting with old things, but we will be moving and have to do it.

My parents are in their 80's, living in their own home, and I dread the job my sister and I will have when they're gone. My mother collects dolls, and every time I go to visit there is less space to put my things in the guest room. Those dolls much be busy while I'm not there, because they keep multiplying! My father's office I can't even discuss. When the whole family would visit my boys would sleep on the pullout sofa there; can't even find it now under all his stuff.

Hug your hubby for me, casual lady; what he is doing is wonderful!

[greamy]

When my parents both died, my father last, we had the whole house to clean out. I think my parents saved every piece of mail that ever came in. My father had every electric shaver he bought, " just in case" he needed parts. Every small appliance they ever owned, your getting the picture. By the way, my parents home was tidy and neat, and clean. These things were in storage spaces and we emptied all out, it was hard to do, the memories, but we had to do it. We are talking about parents who knew what doing without was, later in life they had what they wanted. I am thankful for all of these memories and hope my kids will feel the same when it is their turn to do this. We are not keeping all of these things my parents kept.

[jeanlake]

ya hoooooooo - it's a good day for you

[Mominohio]

On 1/4/2014 greamy said: When my parents both died, my father last, we had the whole house to clean out. I think my parents saved every piece of mail that ever came in. My father had every electric shaver he bought, " just in case" he needed parts. Every small appliance they ever owned, your getting the picture. By the way, my parents home was tidy and neat, and clean. These things were in storage spaces and we emptied all out, it was hard to do, the memories, but we had to do it. We are talking about parents who knew what doing without was, later in life they had what they wanted. I am thankful for all of these memories and hope my kids will feel the same when it is their turn to do this. We are not keeping all of these things my parents kept.

You make an excellent point about people who grew up in a generation or a family in any generation that did without because of economic hardship. Those people often live very clean and organized lives, but can't part with "things" because they know what it was like to do without. They can't let go of the fact that they might need this thing some day, or someone else might need it. In their past nothing was wasted, everything was appreciated.

I am a daughter of a mother who grew up with nothing, including a mother and father, and I grew up watching her love and appreciate her things as she was able to get them. She treasured the finer furniture and things my father bought her (he passed early in life) and now "things" tend to mean too much to me as well. Many things I own tend to have very much sentiment attached to them. They are from previous generations of my family, they may have been a gift from a dear relative/friend, they are the books/toys my child played with and cherished. I have a horrible time letting go. I try to pare down things every winter as I begin my "spring cleaning" and it's easy to get rid of that stuff that is worn out, broken, or damaged. It is easy to get rid of things outgrown, or non sentimental things that I have several of (say can openers or too many baking sheets), but I still struggle with the sentimental.

OP, I wish you luck as you downsize, and you are doing a great thing for your family. If you only get rid of part of your things, the stuff that is unnecessary and not sentimental to those you leave behind, you are accomplishing a lot. It is often therapeutic to go through our parent things after their passing, as long as it isn't overwhelming because of the "junk", and we only have to deal with necessities and those things that have great memories.

[ilovegreengems]

On 1/4/2014 mominohio said:

On 1/4/2014 greamy said: When my parents both died, my father last, we had the whole house to clean out. I think my parents saved every piece of mail that ever came in. My father had every electric shaver he bought, " just in case" he needed parts. Every small appliance they ever owned, your getting the picture. By the way, my parents home was tidy and neat, and clean. These things were in storage spaces and we emptied all out, it was hard to do, the memories, but we had to do it. We are talking about parents who knew what doing without was, later in life they had what they wanted. I am thankful for all of these memories and hope my kids will feel the same when it is their turn to do this. We are not keeping all of these things my parents kept.

You make an excellent point about people who grew up in a generation or a family in any generation that did without because of economic hardship. Those people often live very clean and organized lives, but can't part with "things" because they know what it was like to do without. They can't let go of the fact that they might need this thing some day, or someone else might need it. In their past nothing was wasted, everything was appreciated.

I am a daughter of a mother who grew up with nothing, including a mother and father, and I grew up watching her love and appreciate her things as she was able to get them. She treasured the finer furniture and things my father bought her (he passed early in life) and now "things" tend to mean too much to me as well. Many things I own tend to have very much sentiment attached to them. They are from previous generations of my family, they may have been a gift from a dear relative/friend, they are the books/toys my child played with and cherished. I have a horrible time letting go. I try to pare down things every winter as I begin my "spring cleaning" and it's easy to get rid of that stuff that is worn out, broken, or damaged. It is easy to get rid of things outgrown, or non sentimental things that I have several of (say can openers or too many baking sheets), but I still struggle with the sentimental.

OP, I wish you luck as you downsize, and you are doing a great thing for your family. If you only get rid of part of your things, the stuff that is unnecessary and not sentimental to those you leave behind, you are accomplishing a lot. It is often therapeutic to go through our parent things after their passing, as long as it isn't overwhelming because of the "junk", and we only have to deal with necessities and those things that have great memories.

Yes-very true- my mother never had a doll growing up (no money for frivolities), so she collects them now!

[MeAndMyArrow]

Here I am, procrastinating and taking a break from removing all the Christmas decos around the house. I purge twice a year. Spring and Fall. What no one wants, I donate to charity, give to friends, or close my eyes and dump it in the trash. Stuff builds up fast...especially with two DS's still at home. Clothes, old shoes, books, etc. et al. It all goes twice a year...it's the only way I can keep a handle on it.

[sarpy]

As we are slowly cleaning out our house, I set things aside and when my daughter comes, I ask her if she wants it. If not, it goes to Goodwill. They do not want our things, they have their own things. I have another daughter who doesn't want stuff. So for Christmas, we give her and her husband gift certificates to the movies and places to eat. She didn't even want kids. Kids do not want our things.

[bluejeansluvr]

Good luck to you and your DH casuallady, this is so hard to do.

DH and I have been trying to do this a little at a time. It is very important to do tho and so many people don't think of doing it. Because when you pass away, it is up to your children or other relatives to do this and it is an overwhelming job! I do not want to leave the burden on our children to have to do this.

I can't tell you how many friends of mine, found after their elderly parents died, an attic or basement filled with decades of stuff, they had to go through. This is emotionally draining and time consuming for anyone to do. I hope we can finish ours before the end of the year. that is our goal, we are going to do it a little at a time, when DH has time off work and I can help him.

[Vivian]

I can certainly identify with this post. Eight years ago, my husband-the-hoarder promised to clean out the basement and the garage, which were filled with 35 years of let's-put-it-in-the-basement-in-case-we-might-need-it c*r*@*p. We had countless fights over his procrastination. I even offered to clean out all his stuff but he feared my when-in-doubt-throw- it-out philosophy. Hallelujah! He finally cleaned it out thIs past summer. It took me 5 minutes to go through my stuff and 4 months for DH to deal with his. We called a trash removal service and they hauled away two truckloads. Fresh paint, new carpeting in the playroom, and I am thrilled to bits. I learned that patience is a virtue. Now onto the bathroom redos.