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[KBEANS]

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@rnmom wrote:

@KBEANS - I'm sorry that something had you so upset that you weren't able to eat. But I'm glad that it motivated you to get the fridge cleaned out!

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Thanks @rnmom  It was either that or punch the sh itte outta someone. Purging during anger can be a good thing.  🤔  I bet it can go both ways and impulse purging probably can come back to haunt you with regret.  In the fridge... not so much. Easily replaceable. When I came across a card that from the person I was fuming about, I did tear it up. I don't feel guilty about that and I haven't spoken to them since that day. I need a break and time to recharge. I'm trying to purge my anger but haven't been able to send it all packing yet! 
Kind words from a stranger...Who would have thought those could help? It did. 😘 Come to think of it; you don't seem like a stranger 

[gidgetgh]

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@rnmom wrote:

@gidgetgh - Can you give your stepsons a deadline and tell them if they haven't picked out what they want by a certain date that you will just have everything hauled away? I know it seems really mean, but they will have to do it before you move anyway. 

I can't imagine going thru every room every day and looking at every item. Besides simply not having time, the repetitiveness of that would drive me nutso. Kudos to you for being able to do that. 

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@rnmom - thanks. I'm trying to really tread lightly. In the 36 years I've known them, we have never had a cross word, argument, nothing.  Really good, positive all the time, relationship.  I adore them.   So this seemingly intentional procrastination is puzzling and, to be honest, hurtful.  Like I haven't hurt enough the past few years.  I just can't understand it.   I have already reminded them twice in the last year (only twice. It is not like I am being a pest)  and now I'm going to have to go with the "I've scheduled 1 800 got junk to come on such and such date" and I really don't want to have to do that.  But, at some point I will have to and I don't quite understand why.  I hate angst and weirdness and hoopla and this is ALL of that.  

And, I want to be careful.  The things in the basement that they need to go through are things my husband specifically left to them in his will, so not so easy for me to just have them hauled off.

[gidgetgh]

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@rnmom wrote:

@gidgetgh - Can you give your stepsons a deadline and tell them if they haven't picked out what they want by a certain date that you will just have everything hauled away? I know it seems really mean, but they will have to do it before you move anyway. 

I can't imagine going thru every room every day and looking at every item. Besides simply not having time, the repetitiveness of that would drive me nutso. Kudos to you for being able to do that. 

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@rnmom - it takes me less than 10 minutes to go through the house every day.  I live alone.  I have lots of free time unfortunately.

[rnmom]

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@KBEANS wrote:

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@rnmom wrote:

@KBEANS - I'm sorry that something had you so upset that you weren't able to eat. But I'm glad that it motivated you to get the fridge cleaned out!

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Thanks @rnmom  It was either that or punch the sh itte outta someone. Purging during anger can be a good thing.  🤔  I bet it can go both ways and impulse purging probably can come back to haunt you with regret.  In the fridge... not so much. Easily replaceable. When I came across a card that from the person I was fuming about, I did tear it up. I don't feel guilty about that and I haven't spoken to them since that day. I need a break and time to recharge. I'm trying to purge my anger but haven't been able to send it all packing yet! 
Kind words from a stranger...Who would have thought those could help? It did. 😘 Come to think of it; you don't seem like a stranger 

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@KBEANS - Awwww, you are so sweet, that is very kind of you to say, and I am glad that I was able to help, even if just a little.

[rnmom]

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@gidgetgh wrote:

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@rnmom wrote:

@gidgetgh - Can you give your stepsons a deadline and tell them if they haven't picked out what they want by a certain date that you will just have everything hauled away? I know it seems really mean, but they will have to do it before you move anyway. 

I can't imagine going thru every room every day and looking at every item. Besides simply not having time, the repetitiveness of that would drive me nutso. Kudos to you for being able to do that. 

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@rnmom - thanks. I'm trying to really tread lightly. In the 36 years I've known them, we have never had a cross word, argument, nothing.  Really good, positive all the time, relationship.  I adore them.   So this seemingly intentional procrastination is puzzling and, to be honest, hurtful.  Like I haven't hurt enough the past few years.  I just can't understand it.   I have already reminded them twice in the last year (only twice. It is not like I am being a pest)  and now I'm going to have to go with the "I've scheduled 1 800 got junk to come on such and such date" and I really don't want to have to do that.  But, at some point I will have to and I don't quite understand why.  I hate angst and weirdness and hoopla and this is ALL of that.  

And, I want to be careful.  The things in the basement that they need to go through are things my husband specifically left to them in his will, so not so easy for me to just have them hauled off.

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@gidgetgh - I can't imagine how difficult the situation is, and I'm sure that the last thing you want to do is strain the relationship. There probably is a reason why they're dragging their feet, but figuring it out is the hard part for sure. Could be it will remind them too much that they've lost their dad and they don't want to see it every day, or simply don't have room or really don't want it but will feel guilty not taking it. Or none of these and something totally different. They might just be too busy. You may never know the reason.

But the bottom line is that if you are moving, they have to get it out sooner or later. If you were staying there it could sit indefinitely but unfortunately, it can't. I hope that they come by soon and take it off your hands before things get too weird. 

[jackthebear]

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@rnmom wrote:

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@gidgetgh wrote:

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@rnmom wrote:

@gidgetgh - Can you give your stepsons a deadline and tell them if they haven't picked out what they want by a certain date that you will just have everything hauled away? I know it seems really mean, but they will have to do it before you move anyway. 

I can't imagine going thru every room every day and looking at every item. Besides simply not having time, the repetitiveness of that would drive me nutso. Kudos to you for being able to do that. 

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@rnmom - thanks. I'm trying to really tread lightly. In the 36 years I've known them, we have never had a cross word, argument, nothing.  Really good, positive all the time, relationship.  I adore them.   So this seemingly intentional procrastination is puzzling and, to be honest, hurtful.  Like I haven't hurt enough the past few years.  I just can't understand it.   I have already reminded them twice in the last year (only twice. It is not like I am being a pest)  and now I'm going to have to go with the "I've scheduled 1 800 got junk to come on such and such date" and I really don't want to have to do that.  But, at some point I will have to and I don't quite understand why.  I hate angst and weirdness and hoopla and this is ALL of that.  

And, I want to be careful.  The things in the basement that they need to go through are things my husband specifically left to them in his will, so not so easy for me to just have them hauled off.

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@gidgetgh - I can't imagine how difficult the situation is, and I'm sure that the last thing you want to do is strain the relationship. There probably is a reason why they're dragging their feet, but figuring it out is the hard part for sure. Could be it will remind them too much that they've lost their dad and they don't want to see it every day, or simply don't have room or really don't want it but will feel guilty not taking it. Or none of these and something totally different. They might just be too busy. You may never know the reason.

But the bottom line is that if you are moving, they have to get it out sooner or later. If you were staying there it could sit indefinitely but unfortunately, it can't. I hope that they come by soon and take it off your hands before things get too weird. 

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just a guess to them it's out of sight and stuff they don't want to deal with, and the OP not sure who that is as I started reading, is storing it all for them

Trust me if it was important they would be there 

and because the Dad left it to them does not mean it might be something they value 

[Snoopp]

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@gidgetgh wrote:

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@rnmom wrote:

@gidgetgh - Can you give your stepsons a deadline and tell them if they haven't picked out what they want by a certain date that you will just have everything hauled away? I know it seems really mean, but they will have to do it before you move anyway. 

I can't imagine going thru every room every day and looking at every item. Besides simply not having time, the repetitiveness of that would drive me nutso. Kudos to you for being able to do that. 

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@rnmom - it takes me less than 10 minutes to go through the house every day.  I live alone.  I have lots of free time unfortunately.

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This is super common to see procrastination when someone passes away.  I think you will need a deadline to get them interested.  

[Witchy Woman]

@rnmom 

My streamlining/reorganizing has taken a back seat for now.

I've fallen behind on my blanket making for Project Linus, so I need to do that, especially with the holidays coming.  My dining room is cluttered with fleece blanket kits (a big mess for now).

Also, another round of gift baskets to make for my local rescue.  They are still unable to do in person auctions, so doing it all online for the second year.

I have a HUGE stash of items for creating/donating to the acution.  Heaven help me if I leave this earth before I can get rid of that pile of stuff.  I shop all year, so it is a lot.  

Anyway, just wanted to check in.  It has been so hot and unpleasant I don't mind staying inside.  But, I need to get back to getting rid of things!

Enjoy reading what everyone is doing as it keeps me motivated.

[Snicks1]

@Witchy Woman, thank you so much for all you do for both Project Linus, and for the rescues. That is awesome.

[Snicks1]

Today, just after dark, I went out to remove any solar lights that no longer work. I knew there were quite a few, but during daylight I always think that maybe I don't remember which ones, lol. At any rate, I tossed about a dozen and discovered only 4 that work. I'm not replacing them until Spring and will cut down on the number I use, to about half, (8-10), instead of 16.