DH wants to move and I don't, house is a disaster,... - Page 2

pdlinda · ‎10-23-2011

@RetRN wrote:
I'm not sure why you have stayed in the marriage. Sounds horrible to me, it sounds like you are miserable everyday. I would have changed that a long time ago. You deserve to be happy and need to stand up for yourself.

That was my first thought...

Kachina624 · ‎03-10-2010

I think you need a marriage counselor rather than a real estate agent. It's obvious your husband doesn't consider you to be an equal partner or respect your opinion. Only you can fix that situation; we really can't help you

New Mexico☀️Land Of Enchantment

Still Raining · ‎03-30-2014

This is not about the house. Just two stubborn people who dig in and blame. Really, no stove for 5 years? Lifetime Grudge award contender.

Please tell us that your carpet is not 25 years old.

fresh kitty · ‎07-06-2010

It sounds like you have a control issue between the two of you. Isn’t it amazing after all the years you have been together the game continues. He doesn’t fix things because he knows it drives you crazy therefore he wins. Then you say you want to stay but then you’ll flood the house. My husband did that to me all the time so when my mother passed I took my inheritance and bought a new house and paid for everything myself. But he said he needed a ceiling fan and certain kinds of faucets etc just to give him power . So I sit in my new house alone because he got kidney cancer and passed away and left me with a lot of medical bills. The silly games people play in relationships because we were married 42 years.

mousiegirl · ‎03-09-2010

@MildredM I always just take care of what needs to be done, and tell DH I am going to do it, no problem. He would never spend a penny, which is good, because I am the spender.

I had my kitchen and laundry room enlarged, cooked in the rec room for six months, completely remodeled, a rec room redone, a family room redone with three walls of built-ins, a new roof and exterior painting, took eight months for everything, and DH 's only part in it was to deposit the money so I could pay contractors, etc. At times,. he has told me to get such and such fixed,

I think if a house is in good condition, the buyer has to pay for that even if the location is all they are interested in, so eventually, someone will come along who wants the location and neighborhood badly enough to pay the price you want, within reason.

I remember when we were first married, one day DH said he would take away the credit cards, and I said good-bye to him, still have the cards, lol.

ValuSkr · ‎03-15-2014

That's a tough one. I understand your husband's point of view - why put money into something that doesn't improve its value. Maybe you two can compromise: major remodels - no but repairs and maintenance projects - yes, especially those that make you happy.

jeanlake · ‎03-10-2010

Is this about not liking change or do you really love the location of your current home? Moving into a modern, smaller place sounds great to me!

"I took a walk in the woods and came out taller than the trees." Henry David Thoreau

GCR18 · ‎07-03-2013

There is a difference between remodeling or upgrading and making necessary repairs. I think the issue has nothing to do with the house. Nothing will change if you move, if you don't get to the issue. Marriage counseling is something you may want to consider. Good luck.

Carol Diane · ‎04-27-2015

DH....I'd definitely drop the "D" off

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

First, let me tell you that your home would be worth more than you think. If your location is good, which you said it was, and the houses in the neighborhood are all selling for upscale prices, your home is desirable.

Many Realtor's grab up houses like this as soon as they have a listing agreement. They make the repairs and upgrade and flip them. Many people would love to live in a $500,000 neighborhood and only pay $200,000 for their smaller home. Location is important, not the Condition of the property.

I would call a handy man and get the basic repairs you need, like the facet fixed and new flooring. You should be able to live comfortabably while you are there.

Continue to look at other homes. You might find one you like better. If so, move, if not, stay where you are.

Tell your DH your plans. If he wants to move, he needs to make you comfortable where you are now or you will not be looking for another house soon.

You could also make renovations to your home to sell it later if you wish. Unless it is a real " shack" and unrepairable, someone will probably buy it renovated and live there for a heafty price to live in your neighborhood.