Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,859
Registered: ‎08-08-2010

Took a bit of a poll last year, to see who still decorates the graves of family for Memorial Day.


Honestly, I don't know what is up with me, but it just hit me this past weekend that I hadn't made the usual plans to do this annual ritual. 


My son and I usually spend the better part of a day visiting about a half a dozen cemeteries and cleaning up the graves and placing flowers.


I usually do up something in red white and blue for the graves. I'm going to have to get moving on this! We really enjoy the time together, the weather is usually beautiful, and the retelling of the who's who at each grave keeps the history of the family alive.


So I'll ask again this year, for those that might be new or have missed it last year, do you have a Memorial Day weekend tradition for honoring those that have passed.

New Contributor
Posts: 3
Registered: ‎06-16-2015

I still do but unfortunately when I pass that will probably be the end of anyone going. I still buy the same kind and/or color of flowers for each deceased family member because it was their preference when they were alive.  Silly I know but makes me feel better.  Hope everyone has a wonderful and safe Memorial Day and blessings to everyone who has or is serving this country. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 25,929
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

DH just sent his nephew a check to buy flowers for on his family's graves. We are fortunate to have this wonderful nephew willing  to do this for us. Until this year we would do the graves when we got back to Pa for the summer. My parents are in a masoleum so no flowers there, and where my grandparents and great grandparents are buried they no longer allow planted flowers - they will mow them down if you plant them, which I find disgusting.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,567
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

I was a later in life baby so never knew my grandparents or other relatives from that generation.  And my immediate family is small, so the only grave I visit is my dad's.  Like another poster, I always take yellow mums as that was his favorite color and flower.  It is almost 60 miles away, and my sister and I take our elderly mother.  After he passed, I was the only sibling to do this for a long time.  We were reared to do this by our parents, so I have no idea why my other siblings never wanted to do it or joined in.  We were all very close to our dad, so that increases the puzzlement.  When my mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and moved to assisted living, my sister finally joined in on the tradition.  When Mom passes, I wonder if my sister will still join me in making the yearly trip.  I will go until I can't go any longer, but like someone else said, I will probably be the last generation as I do not have children, and my sister has never had her children go with us.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,354
Registered: ‎06-15-2014

Bless you and others who do this. Flowers are not a traditional in a Jewish cemetery, flags are placed.

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,472
Registered: ‎02-22-2015

Re: Memorial Day

[ Edited ]

Since our family will be leaving for FL for my niece's wedding , we've already been to the (three) cemetaries (both sets of grandparents) in Omaha and (dad) Lincoln. My peonies are late this year, but the deep purple iris are gorgeous and always last much longer in the in-ground vases so it worked out well. I also leave a flag for each Veteran [both grandfathers (WWI), my dad (WWII)]. My husband (VietNam conflict) and my mom were cremated; their ashes are inured in the Collumbarium at our Church. Confident my son  will continue to place the flag and a purple iris for his dad, me and his grandmother. Doubt the cemetaries will continue after he is gone.     

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,862
Registered: ‎06-08-2016

Each cemetery has their own "decoration" day, usually early Spring.   Too hot to go to the graveyard on Memorial day.


I'm in the deep southeast.

Posts: 47
Registered: ‎08-25-2010

I can remember going with my parents as a small child to cemetaries to do this.  So when my Dad passed at a young age, my Mom and sisters did decorate the graves.  As time passed and Mom wasn't able to do it herself, we took over for her.  Now i'm the only one left and I will always clean up the stones and take flowers to my parents, my husband's parents and my grandparents graves.  No one else in the family knows that I do my grandparents, and I've never heard anyone asking who does it, so I'm guessing they never go to the cemetary.  I do this gladly so I'm not complaining.  My parents taught me this by example, but I know that my kids are not going to pick up when I'm gone.  I think they just don't get it. God bless you all that don't forget loved ones.

Posts: 29
Registered: ‎03-25-2010

I live in a rural area in central Ohio. My mother and I decorate the family graves with geraniums in patriotic arrangements. Flags are placed for the veterans, but I bring the 42nd Rainbow Division Flag for my grandfather's WWI service. We attend the miiitary tribute and the program given at the cemetery gazebo where the high school band plays, recitiation of the Gettysburg Address and In Flanders Field are given, and a speaker makes an appropriate speech. We visit with our neighbors and chat with those who have come for the event.


This is truly a part of American culture that may not last much longer. It is important that we teach our children that this day is just not for family cook-outs. 


Our children should be taught that this is a responsibility to remember and show our respect. How sad it is to hear that many do not expect to have the future generations, whether because of geographical distance or lack of appreciation or concern for the meaning of the holiday or cultural tradition, will continue what should be considered a part of our cultural heritage.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 15,688
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

We visited the cemetery Saturday and left flowers at the grave of my in-laws. I don't put flowers on my parent's grave. Growing up, our family mowed the church cemetery and my dad found the flowers a nuisance to mow around so I figured it best not to upset his resting place.