Holiday

[GCR18]

I can remember going to the cemetery with my father, grandmother and sister to put flowers on that side of the family's graves.  My grandmother passed when I was 15.  We went a couple years after that, then my father went on his own until he passed in '09. 

[beach-mom]

We don't live anywhere near where my family is buried. I'm the last one of my generation. I lost my brother when he had just turned 28. So we make the trip twice a year because it's important to ME and DH knows it. We can do it in one very long day, usually leaving before dawn. We will be going this week, always right before Memorial Day to plant flowers, and again in December right after Thanksgiving with our Christmas wreaths. 

DH's parents are buried at a little church right up the road from the homestead where his youngest sister now lives. We will stop there if we go up for the July 4th weekend, and again on Thanksgiving. She takes care of everything, and we live 8 hours away. 

It is important to some, but not to others. I have friends who haven't been to the cemetery since their loved one died. 

[nana59]

my husband planted geraniums at his parents' grave today.....

[TenderMercies]

I guess the people from both where I grew up and where I live now observe Memorial Day differently than many other places.  We only recognize those who died during military service, not all of our deceased relatives on this holiday.  

In my religion, we have a lovely holiday called Green Sunday which is in early spring and acknowledges all our deceased relatives.  That's the holiday when we make everything look nice at the cemetery, as that's where the services are held that day. We add something patriotic to service members' graves for Memorial Day, but the rest of the families' graves already have flowers planted and blooming by this time.  

[sissel]

Iiving in a hot climate I noticed that most people put fake flowers on the graves. I thought at first it was odd but any fresh would die in 2 days so it does make sense. To me, it's more of the thought than what you put on the graves. My parents are buried back east so I can't visit or put flowers on their grave but they are with me everyday. I talk to them once in awhile trying not to bother them but sometimes I just need to talk, makes me feel better. So wonderful you visit your family's graves.

[gidgetgh]

@Mominohio- my family is all buried in Pennsylvania and Connecticut and I'm in Georgia so no visiting the graves this weekend for me.

My husband never goes to visit the graves of his deceased family members.

[BirkiLady]

My maternal grandparents had an large home on an acre in Omaha. My grandpa had fruit trees and a gorgeous Colorado Blue Spruce to the south of their home with two curved concrete sitting benches nearby. When they sold that home, my grandmother had  one of those benches moved to the family cemetary plot. After both had passed away, mom had a Colorado Blue Spruce planted in their memory by their final resting places. Mom found great comfort in that peaceful place.

I'm grateful all of the cemetaries our family members chose have eternal care and are always so well kept.

A few years ago, I was placing flowers and flags on my paternal grandparents graves and the brass in-ground vases had been stolen! (Brass prices have gone sky high. I'm sure they were resold for scrap.) That was hurtful in a huge Omaha cemetary. And costly.  

[mousiegirl]

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@Mominohio wrote:

Took a bit of a poll last year, to see who still decorates the graves of family for Memorial Day.

Honestly, I don't know what is up with me, but it just hit me this past weekend that I hadn't made the usual plans to do this annual ritual. 

My son and I usually spend the better part of a day visiting about a half a dozen cemeteries and cleaning up the graves and placing flowers.

I usually do up something in red white and blue for the graves. I'm going to have to get moving on this! We really enjoy the time together, the weather is usually beautiful, and the retelling of the who's who at each grave keeps the history of the family alive.

So I'll ask again this year, for those that might be new or have missed it last year, do you have a Memorial Day weekend tradition for honoring those that have passed.

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@Mominohio  There is a cemetery about twenty or more miles away that is only soldiers, and all of the graves have little flags.  I don't knoiw if this is year round or just on memorial day , havn't seen it for eons.

[Mominohio]

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@antiquelover wrote:

I live in a rural area in central Ohio. My mother and I decorate the family graves with geraniums in patriotic arrangements. Flags are placed for the veterans, but I bring the 42nd Rainbow Division Flag for my grandfather's WWI service. We attend the miiitary tribute and the program given at the cemetery gazebo where the high school band plays, recitiation of the Gettysburg Address and In Flanders Field are given, and a speaker makes an appropriate speech. We visit with our neighbors and chat with those who have come for the event.

This is truly a part of American culture that may not last much longer. It is important that we teach our children that this day is just not for family cook-outs. 

Our children should be taught that this is a responsibility to remember and show our respect. How sad it is to hear that many do not expect to have the future generations, whether because of geographical distance or lack of appreciation or concern for the meaning of the holiday or cultural tradition, will continue what should be considered a part of our cultural heritage.

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@antiquelover

I agree with you 1000%

This has to be taught. Children have to grow up doing it to understand it, value it and make it important and a tradition. 

Even our more obscure and tiny cemeteries in this area of Ohio see people coming out and doing these things during this season.

I do understand distance can make this hard or impossible for some people to perform in person, but there are florists and services that will decorate and deliver, so one doesn't even have to be in the area to make it happen. 

I have hope that since my son enjoys doing this with me, that he will do it when I'm gone. He is not at the age of having a family yet, but I will make sure his children know and do this when they are young, should I still be here to teach it.

I do graves of family that have no one left alive (they had no children or gandchildren, as well as graves for family members that are too old to get out and do them now, or live very far away. I do it out of a sense of duty, but more out of a sense of connection to the past, a connection to the people in my family that have gone on before me, and a duty to preserve the tradition and pass the history down. I don't mean it to sound morbid, but I enjoy the task and the time spent doing it.

[FleurFairy]

My mom and I usually do the flower planting at the graves over Memorial Day. It always falls to us (and we are happy to do it) even though my mom is one of 10 kids. So I suppose when she dies, it will be up to me since nobody else in the family seems to care. We also put wreaths on the graves at Christmas. It always makes me sad seeing the old fallen over graves of some of the deceased nearby knowing they probably don't have anyone alive today that remembers or visits them.