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Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

serving at a funeral dinner

[ Edited ]

Mr Cherry and I will be working at a funeral dinner on Thursday. It has been a while since I did this

 

I think it might be a bit more respectful if we wore something other than jeans. Nothing fancy just nice slacks and a top

 

Do you think it matters? The lady that trained me ,years ago ,always requested we didn't come in too casual, but try to look more ,as if we were wearing a uniform

 

I worked at some really sad ones is my time. The worst was a young man that was killed by a rival , over a girl, they were only in high school. The church was packed and so was the hall  I was serving  in

 

I always like to sort of blend in with the back ground to give the family privacy.

 

What do those of you that work at this type of event wear?

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,259
Registered: ‎06-08-2011

Re: serving at a funeral dinner

Nice slacks and top are fine.  I wouldn't wear jeans.  

Honored Contributor
Posts: 30,239
Registered: ‎03-12-2010

Re: serving at a funeral dinner

@cherry I don't have anything to recommend except to say I've read many of your posts and know you have excellent taste so I'm sure whatever you wear will be appropriate.

 

I would, though, like to say that I respect the fact that you are doing something like this.

 

Not a lot of people would be able to do what you are doing.  It doesn't matter if it's part of your job.  It still must be emotionally difficult.  At the end of the day, unlike a job where a person is 'physically' exhausted; you and your husband must also be 'emotionally' exhausted.

 

Physical exhaustion means one can just rest the body, regenerate and move on.

 

But what you and your husband are doing means trying to rest your brain too.  I would venture to guess that even though you might not know the family and friends of the deceased, you probably think and remember them long after you've finished 'the job'.

 

What you and your husband does is one of many jobs people don't think about until they need the kind of help you provide.  

 

Like I said, "Thank goodness there are still people like you and your husband even willing to provide this service".

 

Take care @cherry Heart

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,407
Registered: ‎07-07-2010

Re: serving at a funeral dinner

@cherry  I am sure that anything that you wear will be tasteful and respectful.  Black slacks will always be appropriate.  If you have a black blouse, then I would wear that.

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!
Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: serving at a funeral dinner

Thank you ladies, but honestly  ,you get far more than you give, when you volunteer.

 

Even Mr Cherry is finding that out

 

I  guess I will wear navy pants and a navy shirt, and loafers . Its a cement floor and after a few hrs  if you don't wear comfy  shoes you  regret it

 

Mr Cherry will wear black dockers and a sports shirt and nikes

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,213
Registered: ‎09-18-2010

Re: serving at a funeral dinner

@cherry   I would wear dress pants and a nice top.  

 

Speaking of funerals and wakes, I am still of the old school. I, always, wear a dress and heels.  Recently, I have noticed that some do not dress at all, not even in dress pants.  It amazes me that they are dressed way beyond casual, jeans and shorts, too.  I understand that what is important is they cared enough to pay their respects but come on.

 

I feel the same way about Mass as well.  Some of the outfits are just awful.  I'm not saying you need to come in a ball gown but jeans, shorts, flip flops, they look like they should be cleaning their house!

 

Things have changed, now a days but I,truly, believe casual is not always appropriate.  Must be a sign of my age!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 17,739
Registered: ‎03-09-2010

Re: serving at a funeral dinner

@Somertime  isn't it the truth. I can recall the days when you couldn't even attend mass in a sleeveless garment..

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,718
Registered: ‎05-30-2010

Re: serving at a funeral dinner

I don't do type of work but if it were my close friend or family member I would expect a dress style that shows respect. Wear what the funeral director wears or those who work with the public & handle the arrangements. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,239
Registered: ‎07-11-2010

Re: serving at a funeral dinner


@Somertime wrote:

 

"...Things have changed, now a days but I,truly, believe casual is not always appropriate.  Must be a sign of my age!...."


@Somertime  It is not a sign of your age, I think it is a sign of lack of respect that is so obvious in society today!

Honored Contributor
Posts: 19,872
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: serving at a funeral dinner

Several years ago when I was complaining to my minister about the young people coming to church in jeans instead of dressing “more appropriately”, his response to me was, “ I’d rather have them come in their jeans than not come at all.”

 

Where I live now, many people just don’t have what I would consider “appropriate” funeral/church attire.