Why do women blame themselves?

Vivian · ‎03-11-2010

I was just looking at a few reviews of a pair of pants I had bought at Talbot's. Too bad I didn't START with those reviews. I bought these well-constructed ponte knit, fly-front pants for an upcoming family trip. I even went up a size to account for winter's weight gain. However, when I tried them on, I could not button them. The waist was so tight that I gave up.

That's when the self-reprimand began. "You must have gained a ton this year. How could you let yourself go this way? What will my family say when they see me?" I got on the scale and the gain hadn't been nearly as bad as I had feared. "Well, my inactivity must have changed my shape so I look fat." I was still taking the blame. So, this morning I took a look at the reviews of the pants. WOW! It was practically unanimous. Beautiful pants that had a waistband at least two sizes too small.

My tale of woe taught me a lesson. Maybe it's my Baby Boomer mentality but my first reaction was to berate myself. Talbot's couldn't have screwed up. I did. How stupid was that? This must stop!

Sooner · ‎03-10-2010

If that's true, then it is because other woman pick one another to death. It's "That doesn't flatter your figure" but you still wore it for example.

It's "She's gained weight." It's the constant obsession with how other women look.

So I have to ask, do you look at other women and think those things about them? Is it important to wear something that "flatters your figure" more than wear something you like and feel comfortable in? Do you constantly worry what others (women) will think about what you wear?

Therein likes the problem for a lot of females. Will it ever stop? Don't think so. So who are you dressing to please? And how does that critical voice come about? Great questions of human kind!

Lighten up and enjoy yourself!

manny2 · ‎05-24-2010

We are a shallow society that measures worth by how we look, how much money we earn, and how big our house is. Women are taught that they have to look a certain way to have value.

It is even worse today with social media. With the use of filters, we are measuring our reality against someone else's altered reality. Not to mention celebrities that are modified surgically, so we feel even more inferior. Especially true of young women and men.

50Mickey · ‎05-21-2010

I have given up on Talbots. In my opinion it is overrated and overpriced.I have to size up 2 sizes for their pull over sweaters and tees. And after paying $40 + for simple tee shirts they still shrink 2 inches in the length after washing in cold water.

Shanus · ‎05-17-2010

I gave up looking at size tags. I purchase what fits. If Ihave to size up in jeans or tops, no one sees the inside tags, but me and sometimes I cut them out anyway if they irritate my skin.

This is nothing new to being size conscious. If I get too thin, friends ask if I'm sick...gain a few pounds which show quickly on a peitie gal, I can get a few side glances from the same friends.

I've learned to ignore it. It's my body, my life, my size....Head up and proud.

***Agree about Talbots. I think quality is way down while prices have gone up. I don't mind paying more if the quality and correct sizing is there.

smoochy · ‎03-10-2010

Can't speak for other generations, as I'm a Boomer. But the idea that women are all a big supportive sisterhood is a big fat lie. Oh sure, looks that way on the surface. But the knife in your back is only inches away from striking.
no, I'm not paranoid. Just going on seventy years experience.

MICHIGAN STATE MOM

jubilant · ‎06-10-2010

I dislike shopping for clothes. I see it as a real chore these days so I buy multiples of what I do like in different colors. I almost have to be totally out of anything before I will shop for clothing.

To make it easier on myself, I will only buy "pull-on" slacks and jeans now. I can now say I own no pants with zippers!

ps: I agree about Talbots. I don't go there anymore

Miss Pepsi · ‎06-24-2019

@smoochy wrote:
Can't speak for other generations, as I'm a Boomer. But the idea that women are all a big supportive sisterhood is a big fat lie. Oh sure, looks that way on the surface. But the knife in your back is only inches away from striking.
no, I'm not paranoid. Just going on seventy years experience.

Some are definately like that for sure. We should be supporting each other but we are not. I had a "Friend" tell me that all my pants fit me wrong. I said I like them and they are comfortable. She quickly told me they made me look fat and terrible. I said then don't look at me. I wear what I am comfortable wearing. I spent too many years dressing for others. Those days are long gone.

QVCkitty1 · ‎05-23-2015

@smoochy wrote:
Can't speak for other generations, as I'm a Boomer. But the idea that women are all a big supportive sisterhood is a big fat lie. Oh sure, looks that way on the surface. But the knife in your back is only inches away from striking.
no, I'm not paranoid. Just going on seventy years experience.

@smoochy , I'm sorry that was your experience. With few exceptions I've bee surrounded by wonderful, supportive women. I don't challenge your experience, just offering another boomer's perspective.

" You are entitled to your opinion. But you are not entitled to your own facts."
Daniel Patrick Moynihan