Fashion

[ECBG]

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@Miss Pepsi wrote:

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@fairydogmother wrote:

Can't speak for other generations, as I'm a Boomer. But the idea that women are all a big supportive sisterhood is a big fat lie. Oh sure, looks that way on the surface. But the knife in your back is only inches away from striking. 
no, I'm not paranoid. Just going on seventy years experience. 

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Some are definately like that for sure.  We should be supporting each other but we are not.  I had a "Friend" tell me that all my pants fit me wrong.  I said I like them and they are comfortable.  She quickly told me they made me look fat and terrible.  I said then don't look at me.  I wear what I am comfortable wearing. I spent too many years dressing for others. Those days are long gone.

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@Miss Pepsi 

I read what you posted and said "My goodness!!!" out loud.  "Friend" is massively out of line.  So very sorry.

[wilma]

It is very true that fit and sizes vary from manufacturer to manufacturer. That is why I don't worry about size. If I like it, and it fits and flatters my shape, then the rest doesn't matter to me.

I only have one experience with a mistake in garment construction. It was from Chadwick's. The skirt waistband was obviously 2 sizes too small as many reviews posted. 

We can & should accept responsibility for things we can control about our bodies, but I don't think being super hard on ourselves is a good thing. Some people have health issues or are on medications that can cause weight to fluctuate. Let's also not forget that some of have menopausal weight gain that's very difficult to lose. 

Unfortunately, I think women tend to be very critical of themselves and other women at times. I think it helps to remember that we're all different with various body shapes, genetics, good and bad habits, struggles, insecurities, etc. 

[ECBG]

I know when I need to rein myself in.  I detest to walk (not a good place to do that here), and sometimes want "a little something".

When I try on clothes, I have a pretty good gauge.  If something is an unusually ill fit, my own clothes are very snug at the same time.

I do have a friend about ten years older than me.  She tells it like it is but is not my figure type, and doesn't really cook any longer, but eats out often with friends and activities.

I don't know what she eats at other times.

[Love to Run]

Because a person's weight is more likely to flucuate than a manufacturer's standard size.

[FLgardener]

I have another angle--out parents' input from childhood.

I actually believe it was my father's very large input that his girl children should be slim. Well, I worked at staying slim and was successful.

When I presented myself in a modest swimsuit at 22, at a swimming pool event at his home, he looked at me like I was disgusting.

I can't tell you how that hurt me;  I mean I had nothing jiggly at 5'9" and 120 lbs.

[Sooner]

Why do women blame themselves?  You put on something you like and think you look good.  You hear:

Oh!  That's a really bright and cheerful color!  (Uh oh!  It's too bright.  I wasn't trying to look 'cheerful!')

Wow that dress really fit's doesn't it!  (My butt's showing)

Did you have that shortened?  (I knew my knees shoudn't show!)

I can't wear that color at all.  (Why did I get this yellow one?)

Some things are just classics.  (I should have bought a new one!  This one is 6 months old.)

Good for you!  You've really stepped out of the box! ()

Oh I could never wear something like that! ()

And you wonder why you worry about what you wear!

[LuvSoCal]

I used to shop at Talbot's when I was younger and before retiring.  I was a size 4 and then a 6, and I always found the waists on their pants way too small. I wonder why this is an issue.

[Sooner]

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@Glittergal wrote:

Unfortunately we live in a culture where priorities are messed up, and we tend to take the blame for it all as we've been taught.  Women are expected to look perfect all the time.  Women's looks are picked apart and judged constantly.  We aren't supposed to weigh an ounce more than we should, we aren't allowed to age naturally (but then we aren't allowed to modify our faces with fillers, Botox, surgery, etc.  We are judged whatever we do.  It's wrong and I dislike it.    

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@Glittergal But it is up to you whether you let others define you or not.  Wrong doesn't mean it will stop any time.  It is the only measure against a bully.  

[AngelPuppy1]

I can sure relate!  I do think it's me, it's my fault when a garment does not fit!!! I admit to being very sensitive to my body changes as I have aged.  I know that I can't look the same as I did when I was younger and my body cannot be the same.  Maybe if I had really good health --- which I don't -- and had all the time, energy and money in the world --- which I don't -- and could devote all of this to just focusing on immproving my body --- then my body might look fairily close to what it was. However, there is no reality in this for me!  

I hate --- HATE --- trying on pants of any kind!  I instantly get disgusted with how they fit me!  Ones I have had in my closet for a long while and used to fit beautifully --- now --- cling and grab in terrible ways or else just do not fit at all!  Trying on new ones is just the worst --- yikes!!!!  

I know nobody knows the size on the tag -- but I KNOW!  I have always, my whole life, tried to take care of myself and exercise and eat right and look the best I could.  And now, I have found that a lot of the way I look is out of my hands!  O.k. -- anyone can criticize me for feeling the way I do, but I am being honest!  I can't lie and say I am happy about what aging is doing to my body.  Is it superficial??  Well, maybe...   But tell me one person that truly does not care how they look --- for real?

So, yes, I guess we do tend to blame ouselves when the new pants don't fit!  

Don't mind me --- I'm just sensitve to these things.  Carry on --- it will passs .... 

[FLgardener]

I still go back to the origins of this women's body shame and guilt to how the parents raised us. I was taught to be ashamed of my body from an early age. In addition to being taught that a young woman's developing body was an atrocious attraction to boys and young men, I was forced to wear extremely modest clothing, and that attention from boys was evil.

It damaged my psyche for life.