Fashion

[betteb]

On 2/23/2015 QVC1234 said:

Thanks everyone, for right now I'm going to keep the block on but I am going to revise the setting so I can receive a message from a "emergency" caller during certain windows of time. So the block of all calls except the "10" will not be on 24/7. As far as blocking certain numbers that does not work, when people have access to 3/4/5 different cell phones in their homes when you factor in kids phones, and other peoples phones.

Many of you bought up if an emergency occurred how could we be reached, which was a valid point. Thanks for the help and I modified to factor that in.

Whether some people think its no big deal, I know the family dynamics that I did not feel the need to post on here, it was disrespectful to me and I'm fine with others not thinking it was a big deal. Everyone has their own opinion but in the end, I pay the bills in my home, and I have a RIGHT to control who calls my home and whose "funny" messages I have to even listen to and delete. I will control my home. I'm almost 50 years old and I am going to be at peace in MY HOUSE. Once again, we purposely changed our number because of family drama and the person/people "know" that so this was an intentional action of power to say, we can still get your phone number.

I hope you didn't think I was saying it was no big deal in my post. I was just trying to encourage you to try and ignore it as much as possible...to not give whoever it is the control to upset you.

[ROMARY]

Regarding both situations, sometimes some people do and say things just to get a 'rise' out of another person who is nice, calm, and collected. It's rather immature (because that's what very, very young children sometimes do, for attention (whether good or bad). Anyway, the question is what to do and how to behave when someone is intentionally trying their best to 'upset the apple cart'/create a different/not-so-nice personality in the otherwise nice, happy other person. Therein lies the answer. Maybe we should figure out what a child psychologist would recommend?

[tsavorite]

On 2/23/2015 californiamomofthree said:

I agree that I don't like the blocking function, unless you can block that ONE number - that's a much handier feature, imo.

But I can relate to you on the family drama issue, unfortunately. I'm an only child, but my husband is the oldest of 4. His youngest sibling (a brother) has randomly begun disrespecting me whenever we are at family gatherings and I have no idea why. I have never done anything to him! And this started out-of-the-blue at the last 2 gatherings! He's smart enough (or lucky enough) that he has done it when my husband was either not around or otherwise distracted and I'm diplomatic enough to not cause a scene - instead I simply remove myself from the situation. That said, my husband hears about it after we leave and now that he's done it twice in less than a month (we typically all gather at my husband's mom's house at least one Saturday a month), my husband is actually irritated at me for not doing anything to stop it. Now my husband wants me to immediately alert him the next time it happens - not to start a fight, but to call out his behavior [as inappropriate] right then and there, so that he doesn't continue. I tell you, it's so bizarre! We've been married for 12 years, together for 15 and I've never had issues with ANY of my in-laws. In fact, I'm always the "Switzerland" whenever there's sibling squabbles, so for him to pick on me for no reason and out of nowhere is really kind of bizarre. You just never know what makes people tick sometimes.

Do you think this brother may have asked your H for a loan?? I have too much experience in this area...my H has 2 brothers and they have approached for lot's of money over the yrs. Remember if this is the case and your H told him no...he will look at YOU as the one in the WAY. IF you weren't around then he'd get all the $$'s he feels he should be getting as his brother.

Just tossing it out there....sense this is such a sudden behavior change for him toward you....THERE is a REASON for it.

[IControlMyHappiness]

I've clearly realize the "person" is mad that we took the power out of "their" hands when we changed our number. I'm not going to go into the specifics because you really never know "who" is reading on QVC. I heard through a source the person said, "they" are so funny acting, why they have to change their number". No matter how disrespectful they were towards us - calling 2-3 am, etc etc... "we were just supposed" to just SIT THERE and take it.

Because we are related, we were supposed to just accept it. They are "family" whether good or bad, nasty or nice, we were "supposed" to just take it. I don't believe in that, I don't believe, just because someone is my sister, or cousin, etc, I have to allow them to "upset" me, treat me in a negative way or even be in "contact" with me.

The blessing is I am independent, I don't have to ask them to do anything for me, take care of me if I'm sick, lend me money, or anything so I don't have to "keep in touch or be nice" because I might "NEED" them. Trust ME, they won't be THERE FOR ME anyway. . I know these "people" would not be their for ME in any form or fashion.

I'm so thankful we are over 200 miles away, and we can control when we see them.

[gabstoomuch]

Besides going 'unlisted', a great way to keep your phone number private is to list it under an alias name. HA! No one can ever find it if they lose your number, or are trying to find you for whatever reason.

I have had my home phone number listed under another name for 30 years. (years ago, you actually had to pay a fee to be unlisted and not put in the phone book). I did it not to stay secret from anyone, I was just cheap.

I didn't want to pay the fee, nor keep track off it. So I am another name, and if I give out my home phone # and that person loses it, they are up a creek, because they would have to know the alias to even 'buy it for a fee' on the Internet. LOL!

The phone company doesn't care, as long as the bill is paid by someone.

My home phone number is the one I give to people I do not want to have my cell #.

When my cell rings, I know it is someone I care to talk to. When my home phone rings, it is usually a sales call. Works perfect for me!

[Daysdee]

I had a plan where I could block up to 10 (I think) numbers. Only problem is if they call from someone else's phone or get a new cell phone with a new number. It worked for me.

[goodstuff]

Of course you have the right to block numbers on your phone and to talk or not talk with whomever you choose. A given.

I'm astounded and amused by some of the responses concerning your BIL who has "disrespected" you at a couple of family gatherings. Now people are surmising that there may be "underlying issues", that someone may have "told him something untrue about you", and that you should perhaps secretly record his conversation at your next meeting so you can use it to prove his misbehavior. Good gracious. You don't know any of that. I suggest you talk to the guy before jumping to conclusions, getting your hubby involved in a big confrontation, or whatever. First try quiet, direct conversation, one on one, and see what the BIL says. Then you can decide if you need to move to another level. Family drama often escalates unnecessarily because people react without sufficient thought or information. Best to avoid that if you can.

[ROMARY]

CALIFORNIA Mom of 3 : Money or not, sometimes some people have an agenda regarding other very nice family and/or inlaw members. Your husband's family, I'm thinking, is always talking and saying very good things about you. Which, in turn, just might 'upset' a 'certain' family member (jealousy). We often think that it's a female, but in this case it's your BIL. I do believe that he wants to put you in a bad light, and the only way he can do that is to 'push your buttons' and prompt you into a not-so-nice reaction, for all of his family to see. It really doesn't matter why, what, when, how or whatever. Sometimes there aren't any reasons for other people's behavior. It's just who they are (jealousy genes, DNA, whatever; even maybe from hundreds/thousands of years ago). Just think of race horses. A big business, and it takes generations upon generations to get the result that race horse owners want. (Something I recall from one of Joel Osteen's sermons.) ........ Please do yourself a favor, and run these suggestions/thoughts by your husband. See what he thinks about this situation. I, personally, would keep above it all, enjoy the fact that the rest of his family likes you and respects you. That, in itself, is a huge accomplishment.

[MomCat]

On 2/23/2015 adelle38 said:

Unless they were making threatening calls, I think this is a bit of an overreaction. How hard is it to ignore their calls using caller ID or simply say please don't call us?

I agree with this post. You decided to play their game when you blocked them, but that's probably a natural reaction to think of that. I'd probably react the same, and I don't understand the comments about missing an important call just because you blocked someone's number. I doubt my doctor's office would be calling me from my creepy relative's home - LOL. Good luck! We all have the weird ones to deal with. You'll figure it out.

[californiamomofthree]

On 2/24/2015 ROMARY 1 said:

CALIFORNIA Mom of 3 : Money or not, sometimes some people have an agenda regarding other very nice family and/or inlaw members. Your husband's family, I'm thinking, is always talking and saying very good things about you. Which, in turn, just might 'upset' a 'certain' family member (jealousy). We often think that it's a female, but in this case it's your BIL. I do believe that he wants to put you in a bad light, and the only way he can do that is to 'push your buttons' and prompt you into a not-so-nice reaction, for all of his family to see. It really doesn't matter why, what, when, how or whatever. Sometimes there aren't any reasons for other people's behavior. It's just who they are (jealousy genes, DNA, whatever; even maybe from hundreds/thousands of years ago). Just think of race horses. A big business, and it takes generations upon generations to get the result that race horse owners want. (Something I recall from one of Joel Osteen's sermons.) ........ Please do yourself a favor, and run these suggestions/thoughts by your husband. See what he thinks about this situation. I, personally, would keep above it all, enjoy the fact that the rest of his family likes you and respects you. That, in itself, is a huge accomplishment.

ROMARY 1: I swear you must know more than I've written lol. My husband totally said [first thing], "He's jealous of you/us. That's just the way he is." It is totally NOT in my nature to start drama (or I would've already!), so I agree that he's either intentionally or subconsciously trying to get a rise out of me and quite possibly for the purpose of making me look bad in front of his family, if I have a reaction. Little does he know, that in itself will keep me from giving him the satisfaction. His mom and I talk frequently and about so many personal things (and no, I never speak ill of any of her children, not that I want to), but I will never utter a word to her about this issue. I don't want it to make her uncomfortable, I don't want to 'start' anything, and thirdly, I don't want it getting back to him (i.e. letting him know he got to me). I am going to continue to stay above it all, as you suggested. My tentative plan is to simply excuse myself (to the restroom, to "check on the kids", etc.) whenever I'm exposed to him in conversation for too long, this should eliminate his opportunities in the future - unless he REALLY goes out of his way, which would only further paint him as insecure and immature (his family's lifetime labels for him, not mine).