On 4/4/2015 Ford1224 said: On 4/4/2015 beach-mom said: On 4/4/2015 Ford1224 said: My very short second marriage ended when he said to my seven-year-old daughter, "stop babbling!" She was a happy little kid, and she scrunched down in her chair until she was practically under the table. That's when I realized I had to live alone with my children and never married again.
Words mean everything.
How wise you are! And how blessed your children are to have you! Long ago, my husband's stepmother told me never to tell my children they are naughty, but what they DID was naughty. I know this is different from what you posted, but it is so true how words do mean everything. I never forgot her advice, and I've never told my children "they are _____." Those teenage years were - and still are - hard though! I have discussed this with students too. And I've taught classes on how to say things, and write letters, in a positive way.
I'll bet your daughter has never forgotten the way you stood up for her. And you saw your short-term DH for what he really was. I'll bet he thought twice about what he did!
I have a very close friend who was a young widow. She was lucky enough to find love again after her children were almost grown, and she accepted his eventual proposal. Something happened where he made it clear her children would in all circumstances come second to him (he had none, even though he was divorced), and the engagement and relationship were over. We liked him a lot, but she made the right choice.
A few years later she met a wonderful man. He is incredible and is perfect for her. I adore him! Like her he was widowed young, but unlike her he has no children. They are together and he is active in her children's lives. But she told me she will NEVER marry again!
I wish the two of you could meet! 
Yes, our stories are similar. I never talk about my second husband (fortunately we did not have a child together). I was only 35 when I divorced for the second and last time, so I knew I had a lot of tough years ahead of me. My children have always come first and they still do, and we muddled through, they all (but one) went to college on their own dimes (Pell Grants, scholarships, student loans, working their way through, and two of them (including my youngest, the daughter in my story) graduated magna c*um laude, and the third graduated c*um laude. They bought their own cars, paid their own car insurance, bought their own clothes, paid for their own weddings . . . I could go on and on.
My final relationship in my early forties through about 52 was my longest and best. We loved each other, but he lived at home with his mother and we never lived together, he would come on weekends. We were a couple for 12 years. He loved my girls and they loved him. Those were some of the best years for all of us. There was never any talk of marriage.
Back to words: My beloved mother, who loved us all very much and whom we loved. She was beautiful, intelligent, but very troubled from a horrible childhood. One time some words came out of her mouth that I had never heard her say before. I exclaimed, "Mom!" She turned to me and said, "[My name], you are just a stupid little Italian girl." I forgave her, as I realized the place she was in at the time . . . but I never forgot the words.
Like you, I never said anything like that to my children. I would tell them they did a bad thing, but I never said "You are . . . (anything)." Labeling a child can change him/her forever. I have "labeled" adults and others who have done me or mine harm, I do admit to that.
Ford, you are TRULY wise ! 
Thanks for your Excellent Post, and it IS a message that ALL Parents need to convey -- WE need to *Teach our Children Well* -- AND, that Crosby, Stills, & Nash Song's Lyrics, SAID IT ALL ! 
Very Powerful ...unfortunately many of the 'younger parents' allow their Kids *dictate* to the parents, and they (the kids) ultimately Rule the Roost.
