Valued Contributor
Posts: 513
Registered: ‎04-21-2015

Re: when you have given up on yourself

I agree with all the points that Cakers made. I can only say that there are so many thoughtful and caring people on this forum who really do care and we want things to get better for you. Time really does heal but in the meantime I hope our prayers help. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 10,168
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: when you have given up on yourself

If you live in an area where you can safely do so, try taking a walk in the early evenings to enjoy the outdoors. We are walking late in the day to avoid the heat and we start walking back to the house as the street lights come on...just like when I was a kid! Fostering or adopting a pet is a great idea...having something to focus on other than ourselves can be a real help sometimes. The brother in-law thing I would shake one needs any extra drama right now....we are all right in the middle of drama with COVID...anyone who adds more to our life I would set aside and deal with later. Try some online chat rooms like here or go to facebook and follow some groups that interest you. I will put you in my prayers. You are important enough for me to pray for.
Honored Contributor
Posts: 13,510
Registered: ‎05-23-2010

Re: when you have given up on yourself

[ Edited ]

@gellen wrote:

good morning:  I have been suffering a major depression for three months now due to solo covid isolation.  I was even hospitalized for a few weeks.  I seem to given up on myself and find it difficult to care.  I am single and have extended family.  It has cased a huge family rift with my family now having related health issues and my brother in law vowing to never speak to me again.  i am on meds.  Any suggestions welcome. 

@gellen I suggest you continue to work with your psychiatrist. It can take quite awhile for antidepressants to kick in. The results do not always kick in at once either. Some unpleasant side effects may be very temporary so don't give up if you're starting to feel better but have one or two side effects you don't like. Give the medication time and see if the unpleasant side effects diminish. Your doctor might have to change your meds to get the right one for you.  For now, only rely on yourself because it will take a lot of effort to get ignorant family members to understand you and the symptoms of Major Depressive Disorder; especially if you are considered to have the severe form of the disorder. Concentrate on your meds. Later, maybe next month, you can ask your psychiatrist if he or she thinks counseling might help you deal with your family. If so, get a recommendation from your psychiatrist for a counselor. The counselor can help you with strategies to deal with family. . If you are fortunate enough to to be able to eat the way you did before, keep up your eating and Vitamin D from foods or from a short period outside, if you have the energy to do so. If your sleeping pattern and circadian rhythms is affected by the depression your psychiatrist will work with you and the medication adjustments. If you have anhedonia, sadness and feelings of hopelessness, expect the symptoms to gradually go away with the medication. You might also have a loss of patience and irritable and short tempered. If you have difficulty concentrating, expect the same thing. Unfortunately, those with fatigue might see a return of energy or might not. 

If you are diagnosed with a Major Depressive Disorder, Moderate  or Severe, I strongly suggest you not get a pet or take on any additional responsibilities right now. You are not in the condition to care for an animal until most of your symptoms are under control. If you are diagnosed as having Major Depressive Disorder, Moderate or Severe, you should be concentrating on your adjustment to your medication. If you have been diagnosed with Reaction Disorder, a milder form of depression that can occur after the death of a loved one or a short term trigger, you might benefit from a pet after you ask your doctor and/or counselor for an opinion. If you have been diagnosed with Dysthymia, another less severe form of depression, you can ask about things you can do to help yourself and to deal with family.If you are diagnosed with Seasonal Affective Disorder, your doctor might advise you to buy a light fixture that mimics the wavelengths of natural daylight.  Once your medication is working there might be a diminishing of feelings of hopelessness. If not, your medication might need adjustment. If you have severe anxiety along with depression, your doctor willl work with you in selecting the correct antidepressant and, if needed anti anxiety medication. If you have what is sometimes called Double Depression, your doctor can help.🌹🌹🌹🌹

I suggest that you see your PC doc and be checked for possible medical conditions that could exacerbate  or cause some of your symptoms; Vitamin D deficiency, Thyroid issues, diabetes, hormones to name a few. Certain medications are linked to the onset of depressive symptoms, especially certain high blood pressure medications, corticosteroids, hormones. 


For education of your loved ones

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,825
Registered: ‎09-22-2017

Re: when you have given up on yourself

@gellen  Hoping you soon have better days.



Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,734
Registered: ‎06-09-2010

Re: when you have given up on yourself

@drizzellla wrote:

@Travone wrote:

@BunSnoop wrote:

Hi @gellen,


Animals help me alot.  Do you have a dog or a cat?  If not, consider adopting one or you can volunteer to be a foster mom.  When I have a bad day, it makes me feel so much better when I look into the eyes of my little fur baby and see how much he loves me.

@BunSnoop @gellen   This is a great suggestion!!!!  And if you get a dog you can get exercise when you walk the dog.  Also, a great way to meet new people, even with masks and sociall distant.

Excellent suggestion!


The President of our Rescue Group has told us countless times that the hardest part of the job is finding foster parents for the dogs.


Many times they have little or no history about the dog. So the dog has to be placed with a foster home. 


Maybe if you don't feel up to being a foster parent, volunteer with a rescue group. There always seems something that has to be done. I am sure the cats and dogs will enjoy any company that comes their way.

I know where I live, no volunteers are allowed in the Humane Society. You have to make an appointment to see a dog. Sometimes, we just have to adjust to adverse situations. Take care of yourself. People are purchasing coloring books and canyons to help relieve stress. Do something fun. 




Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,545
Registered: ‎03-24-2018

Re: when you have given up on yourself

Not giving up is a mindset. And it’s a mindset that you can adopt. Fortunately, you don’t need to have a personality disorder to refuse to give up, no matter what. Instead, what you do need is to constantly tell yourself the following:


  • I persist when things get tough.
  • I will either find a way or make one.
  • Every problem has a solution, and I have the perfect ability to find it.
  • Every day I gain more knowledge and insight about what works and what doesn’t, which means I’m getting stronger and wiser.
  • Setbacks are temporary.
  • I will find a way through this.
  • Think! What’s the best thing to do now?
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 5,188
Registered: ‎03-11-2010

Re: when you have given up on yourself

I have an 8-1/2 lb. lhasa apso. I'm single - with no family - and I wouldn't have made it without my little dog. She's always next to me - and she has the sweetest face. She understands everything I say to her - as lhasas are very smart. She'll be 12 yrs old on August 23rd and has been very healthy.

I've taken her to a non-profit spay & neuter (they also give shots/exams) - and the fees are very low.

I took my previous lhasa to Banfield (inside PetSmart) - they're a bunch of liars - and charge exhorbitant prices. Google them to see what rip-offs they are.

So - buy a lhasa (I found my lhasa on PetFinder dot com when she was 2 months old.

OR - foster a dog.

It also gets me out of the house every day - taking her for a walk.

I'm also on nextdoor dot com. Community website where u insert ur zip code - and it connects u to many neighbors. They talk about everything from asking for a handyman; to needing help finding their lost dogs/cats (even birds); keeping u up-to-date on what's going on in the area. The police dept is also on here - telling u which streets are closed, etc.

I met my best friend on here. We connected on this site - and I invited her to my house (she lives 3 miles away) - and we're so similar. We've gone to many lunches, drove to the Marina; bought each other birthday and Christmas presents.

Never give up -- believe me, I've had a hard life too but, I'm like my mother, a survivor. It does get better. 

You need a few nice friends in ur life.




Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,970
Registered: ‎03-16-2010

Re: when you have given up on yourself

@gellen, you may feel like giving up on yourself, but we aren't going to give up on you.  You are very important!  


First and foremost, keep taking your medication even if you feel like it isn't helping right now.


Second, keep in touch with your therapist.  Most are doing online or virtual sessions now.  So keep up with those and let them honestly know how you are feeling.   Even though you might be feeling as if those aren't helping that much, still keep those going and don't give up on those.  Reach out!  Please don't hesitate to do so or talk yourself out of it. 


See if you can find an online support group and maybe try that strategy for the time being.  


Never forget, you are very important. Heart



* Freedom has a taste the protected will never know *
Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 6,407
Registered: ‎07-07-2010

Re: when you have given up on yourself

@gellen  Do not give up on yourself, but do use this time to make some personal changes, as difficult as that might be.  Stay on your meds, and possibly ask your doctor to recommend a counselor as someone you will be able to talk to.  


If you have a hobby, this is the time to really indulge in that.  If not, there are many ideas on Youtube.  Get out of the house and go for a walk every day.  Sunshine and fresh air will do  wonders for you.  There is every kind of exercise out there, so find something that is fun.  We are all a work in progress, so this is the perfect time to try some new things.  If you like to cook or bake, find some recipes, so look up cooking for one.  There are FB groups and, of course, we are here.  If you have a pet, spend time with your pet.  If not and you like pets, try fostering.  Shelters are desperate.  Maybe even look for a part-time job.  Sometimes we all need a little push to get started and that might be where a counselor comes into the picture.


The most important thing is to stay busy doing things that you like.  You cannot always depend on family, especially during trying times, but you can always depend on yourself. 

The next time that I hear salt and ice together, it better be in a margarita!
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,245
Registered: ‎04-16-2010

Re: when you have given up on yourself

I know several people who have major depression. Three of them have been hospitalized, some of them more than once. Meds and therapists usually help to get back on track but only if that person pays attention and then follows through and makes an effort to change. They get out of bed or off the sofa, brush their teeth and comb their hair. Turn off the t.v. and go sit or stand for a while on the porch, patio, steps or whatever is available. Don't keep mulling over what someone said or didn't say that hurt your feeings. You cannot change anyone but yourself. 


One of the women whom I know very well is obsessed with her adult grandson, what he says, what he does and how unhappy he "makes her feel" which she constantly talks about to anyone who will listen. She is very intelligent, retired from a great job and had activities she enjoyed. Now feeling sorry for herself and giving up on everything is easier and is actually more satisfying to her than if she were to change anything. 


Verbalizing, writing, or group support are helpful but can become another way to remain self-absorbed rather than mentally moving forward. The most important thing is to live in the present not in the past.