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Super Contributor
Posts: 379
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

when you have given up on yourself

good morning:  I have been suffering a major depression for three months now due to solo covid isolation.  I was even hospitalized for a few weeks.  I seem to given up on myself and find it difficult to care.  I am single and have extended family.  It has cased a huge family rift with my family now having related health issues and my brother in law vowing to never speak to me again.  i am on meds.  Any suggestions welcome. 

Respected Contributor
Posts: 3,580
Registered: ‎06-03-2010

Re: when you have given up on yourself

@gellen   Please don't give up on yourself.  These are unusual times and we will get back to normal (albeit a new normal) in the future.  Try to get outside (wearing a mask) if you can to enjoy the sunshine and to get some exercise.  

 

Getting exercise always seems to elevate my attitude.  

 

There are always a lot of posters online to chat with.  I wish I had more ideas for you, but I'm sure others will jump in and offer many more suggestions and heartfelt concern. 

 

Family members are sometimes difficult to explain, but you do what you need to do to keep yourself healthy, and try to focus on a happier time and know that these restrictions won't last forever!



......You look like I need a drink.....
Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,260
Registered: ‎10-14-2016

Re: when you have given up on yourself

@gellen   I am praying for you.  Please stay on your meds, and I'm glad you have turned to medical experts for help.

 

Just some suggestions...they may not pertain to your situation, but perhaps they will lead to some ideas;

 

1  You say you have extended family - do any of them live close?  If so, can you get together and still be socially isolated and distant?  Perhaps outdoor visiting.

 

2.  Are you keeping in touch with friends via phone email zoom or facebook.  Now may be the time to reach out to long lost friends

 

3  Do you have hobbies?  If you like to read, can you join a zoom book club?

 

4  Can you reach out to neighbors?  Even talking over the backyard fence in interaction with another person.

 

5.  Exercise.  You will feel better physically and mentally.

 

Good Luck and keep in touch with people on this forum also.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,642
Registered: ‎05-22-2010

Re: when you have given up on yourself

Hi @gellen,

 

Animals help me alot.  Do you have a dog or a cat?  If not, consider adopting one or you can volunteer to be a foster mom.  When I have a bad day, it makes me feel so much better when I look into the eyes of my little fur baby and see how much he loves me.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 2,260
Registered: ‎10-14-2016

Re: when you have given up on yourself


@BunSnoop wrote:

Hi @gellen,

 

Animals help me alot.  Do you have a dog or a cat?  If not, consider adopting one or you can volunteer to be a foster mom.  When I have a bad day, it makes me feel so much better when I look into the eyes of my little fur baby and see how much he loves me.


@BunSnoop @gellen   This is a great suggestion!!!!  And if you get a dog you can get exercise when you walk the dog.  Also, a great way to meet new people, even with masks and sociall distant.

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,048
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: when you have given up on yourself

Do you have a park nearby? 

 

Every morning we would take the dog for a 3 - 4 mile walk in a local park. We have about 5 local parks so we would see neighbors, friends, all kinds of different animals and plants. It just seemed like such a nice way to start our day.

 

If you don't want to drive to a park, just walking around the neighborhood can be nice. You run into even more of your neighbors and get to see the nice projects they have done around their houses.

 

We also started quite a vegetable garden. We are now overun with cucumbers. And I always planted flowers so they would be blooming throughout the Spring, Summer and Fall.

 

Maybe get out and putter about.

Respected Contributor
Posts: 4,036
Registered: ‎07-25-2010

Re: when you have given up on yourself

I am confused why your being hospitalized for depression has caused a family rift where your brother won't talk to you....?


With depression so severe you required hospitalization, I would contact your doctor and ask about working with a therapist online.  Keeping on top of your meds and getting appropriate therapy will be your biggest helps.


These are tough times, but they won't last forever.  I wish you a speedy return to peace and happiness in your life.

 

 

Esteemed Contributor
Posts: 7,308
Registered: ‎03-30-2014

Re: when you have given up on yourself

So sorry you are struggling.  It is a very difficult time.  Many here would like to hear from you and be your cheer.

 

Keep in touch with your doctor and give the meds a few months.  Sometimes a switch is needed.

 

It can help to impose some structure on the day.  Even if it only putting a bra to go for a walk.  Something to celebrate.

 

Take care.

Trusted Contributor
Posts: 1,258
Registered: ‎06-08-2011

Re: when you have given up on yourself

I do hope you are working with a good therapist and medical doctors.  Covid hasn't been easy for some people, but it's not the end of the world if you try to do right by yourself.  If you can, go outside every day.  Get some fresh air, look at nature, appreciate how nature is thriving.  Talk to a neighbor if you can.  Even a few minutes of chatting with someone can help.  Find things to do in the house that have meaning.  Do you read?  If so, try devoting an hour or so to a good book each day.  Find projects and do one of them each day.  Exercise.  Go take a walk if you can.  If you're limited with what you can do, then move your body in a way that will still get blood flowing.  That's good for endorphins and can help your mood.  Find a hobby.  Maybe you can do something you've never tried before.  Not sure why the BIL not talking to you is a problem.  After all, he's the BIL.  Ask yourself if you're somehow overburdening your family with your problems.  People will listen and be supportive to a point, but you can't overwhelm them.  AND as someone told me recently, get out of your own head.  When worry and anxiety take over, find a diversion.  It may be forced at first, but ya gotta do it for your own mental health.  Try thinking about the needs of other people and how you can perhaps help them. Good luck. 

Honored Contributor
Posts: 8,048
Registered: ‎03-14-2010

Re: when you have given up on yourself


@Travone wrote:

@BunSnoop wrote:

Hi @gellen,

 

Animals help me alot.  Do you have a dog or a cat?  If not, consider adopting one or you can volunteer to be a foster mom.  When I have a bad day, it makes me feel so much better when I look into the eyes of my little fur baby and see how much he loves me.


@BunSnoop @gellen   This is a great suggestion!!!!  And if you get a dog you can get exercise when you walk the dog.  Also, a great way to meet new people, even with masks and sociall distant.



Excellent suggestion!

 

The President of our Rescue Group has told us countless times that the hardest part of the job is finding foster parents for the dogs.

 

Many times they have little or no history about the dog. So the dog has to be placed with a foster home. 

 

Maybe if you don't feel up to being a foster parent, volunteer with a rescue group. There always seems something that has to be done. I am sure the cats and dogs will enjoy any company that comes their way.