Re: what would you do if ex-lover texted your husb... - Page 7

Silver Lining · ‎04-16-2010

@Helen Bach wrote:
Husband's old girlfriend texted him tonight and now he's all confused on how to respond. It was the simple "Just seeing how you and your wife are doing" text. Apparently he still has feelings for her. What would you as wifey advise him to do?

@Helen Bach

obviously, but understandably, you are upset since you believe he still has feelings for his former girlfriend who is texting him. It's his responsibility to "handle" this situation. I would think he is aware of your feelings about it, right or wrong. I hope he's not so flattered by having two women (you and his former lover) interested in him that he won't do what is probably the "right thing" in this situation for your sake. It's really his decision. If the wannabe "other woman" is trolling, he can ignore, delete, block her texts if he wants to.

Porcelain · ‎02-19-2014

@Helen Bach wrote:
Husband's old girlfriend texted him tonight and now he's all confused on how to respond. It was the simple "Just seeing how you and your wife are doing" text. Apparently he still has feelings for her. What would you as wifey advise him to do?

Say here's my wife's number. Ask her. Or just claim she reached the wrong number.

I'd want to know how he recognized her number. If her name was still in his contact list, that would seem a bit odd to me if they weren't still friends who kept in contact.

You can't keep old flames away from your partner. If she doesn't contact his phone, she'll find him on Facebook. It's on him to set and enforce limits. And on you to have good reason to trust him to do it. Probably time to have some honest discussions about boundaries and limits.

When you’re accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.
"Power without love is reckless and abusive, and love without power is sentimental and anemic." - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr

chiclets · ‎07-01-2012

It is not difficult to get cell phone numbers etcetera.

The text was sent to your husband. The reaction to the text has to come from him.

The manner in which he responds is his decision.

What follows is between you and your husband to speak about openly. Denying is not confronting a issue which is going to bother you.

You may want him to ignore it however I doubt if you would feel sure if he would or did. You may want to tell him what to say but that would not be a truthful response due to the fact it is your response.

He is in control.

You will always wonder unless you are sure of your husband and that is why a conversation needs to take place. There is no avoiding an adult marriage open conversation.

donovan · ‎03-10-2010

For all the people wondering why she has his phone number and assigning nefarious intent:

I've had the same number for 25+ years - Do you all change your phone numbers often?

suzyQ3 · ‎03-09-2010

@Helen Bach wrote:
Husband's old girlfriend texted him tonight and now he's all confused on how to respond. It was the simple "Just seeing how you and your wife are doing" text. Apparently he still has feelings for her. What would you as wifey advise him to do?

Why not ask him if he is still interested in her romantically? Personally, nothing you posted here indicates that he is.

~Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle~ Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

Desert Lily · ‎06-24-2011

@SeaMaiden and @Mz iMac Thanks for the laughs.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

The Pandemic and lock down has had many thinking of and contacting friends and others from past relationships, wanting to know how they are and perhaps do a bit of reminiscing.

I doubt this woman wants the OP's husband. She cared for him once and wants to know that he well and happy.

FrostyBabe1 · ‎05-09-2016

I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that there's anything nefarious about her still having his number. I've had the same number for at least 20 years. I've neither the time or the inclination to scroll thru the thousands of contacts that I've accumulated to root out, delete or block former romantic partners. If they needed to be dropped or blocked that would have happened when the relationship ended.

As for him still "apparently having feelings" for her, @Helen Bach , that is something that you need to clear up with him. We can't do anything about whether or not he really does, what those feelings are, or if he was just taken by surprise at the contact. Sounds to me like you have a great opportunity to have a very personal chat that may ultimately serve to strengthen your bond. It's all in how you choose to handle it.

~The more someone needs to brag about how wonderful, special, successful, wealthy or important they are, the greater the likelihood that it isn't true. ~

Carmie · ‎10-25-2010

Wow...some answers are just crazy.

If an ex texts my DH,I would do nothing. It's not up to me to do anything.

If an ex of mine texted me, I would probably just ignore him.

We have been married for 48 years. If we wanted to be with someone else, we would have left long ago.

Mersha · ‎03-10-2010

@Helen Bach Most advice given on this thread is based on speculation. There is no way to know what the ex's motivation is. There are so many unknown variables in the scenario.

The only way to resolve the matter is to discuss it with your husband and decide what is in the best interest, for both of you, to resolve the issue.

"My desire to be well informed is currently at odds with my desire to remain sane."