Community Chat

[violann]

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

I agree that destination weddings exist - and I have attended two.  However, in both cases, I was able to stay where the wedding was - not an hour away - which as others have pointed out is inconvenient - for many reasons - not least of which is having to drive  for an hour after partying.

I added this not in respose to the OP whom I have already acknowledged was not asking for opinions on destination weddings, but in response to a poster who seems to think I don't understand what a destination wedding is.

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I'm sorry IA, if you meant me, I wasn't thinking that you didn't understand what destination weddings are. You obviously understand them quite clearly, and I totally agree with your observations.

My snarky button is pushed by brides who get their little hearts set on inaccessible inconvenient places to get married in instead of nice local places that most of their guests can get to.

[panda1234]

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@Plaid Pants2 wrote:

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@Sooner wrote:

I would find another venue if it were me.  Chances are the guests will have to put down a non-refundable desposit in that case.  I think it is a lot to ask of a guest unless they are VERY close to the couple.  

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I would have to agree, because I don't know many people who would drive an hour from their hotel to attend a wedding.

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Or you could pay for a bus and bus them all to the wedding from their hotel or a central place.

[occasionalrain]

If you plan a wedding that requires most/all guests to travel a distance and stay at a hotel then the reception better be exceptional aka over the top to justify the expense your guests incur.

[italia8140]

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@151949 wrote:

When ever weddings are discussed on this board I am always amazed at the number of posters who seem to feel the sky is the limit on what someone should be willing to pay to be a guest at their wedding.Apparently many of the posters here have unlimited financial resources. Good for you all. 

We have a close family friend whose daughter is getting married in San Deigo this summer. The bride's Mom asked me if there was a chance we would go and I said no , we can't afford it for a one afternoon party. She was very understanding and said she is made a list of everyone she wanted to invite but is limited on space at the venue so she is asking all those on the A list if they are planning to actually attend so she can move up people from the B list if they aren't. She said it makes her sad how few of the oldest friends and family can't attend but the bride and groom had their hearts set on this venue in California. That is the chance you take with a destination wedding.

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I'm always AMAZED at people who diss those who can afford to spend money to go to a destination wedding or any wedding that's not close by. Not everyone is on a tight budget like you are. Their money, their choice.

[italia8140]

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@muttmom wrote:

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@151949 wrote:

When ever weddings are discussed on this board I am always amazed at the number of posters who seem to feel the sky is the limit on what someone should be willing to pay to be a guest at their wedding.Apparently many of the posters here have unlimited financial resources. Good for you all. 

We have a close family friend whose daughter is getting married in San Deigo this summer. The bride's Mom asked me if there was a chance we would go and I said no , we can't afford it for a one afternoon party. She was very understanding and said she is made a list of everyone she wanted to invite but is limited on space at the venue so she is asking all those on the A list if they are planning to actually attend so she can move up people from the B list if they aren't. She said it makes her sad how few of the oldest friends and family can't attend but the bride and groom had their hearts set on this venue in California. That is the chance you take with a destination wedding.

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I am not at all amazed.  Many of us are children of the 60's.  We worked hard, invested and saved.  We've educated our children and do not feel obligated to them our nest egg.  Now that we've retired we are footloose and fancy free to enjoy our retirement.

What I do not understand is why you worry so much about how others spend their money.

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EXACTLY. It's none of her business.

[italia8140]

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@violann wrote:

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

I agree that destination weddings exist - and I have attended two.  However, in both cases, I was able to stay where the wedding was - not an hour away - which as others have pointed out is inconvenient - for many reasons - not least of which is having to drive  for an hour after partying.

I added this not in respose to the OP whom I have already acknowledged was not asking for opinions on destination weddings, but in response to a poster who seems to think I don't understand what a destination wedding is.

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I'm sorry IA, if you meant me, I wasn't thinking that you didn't understand what destination weddings are. You obviously understand them quite clearly, and I totally agree with your observations.

My snarky button is pushed by brides who get their little hearts set on inaccessible inconvenient places to get married in instead of nice local places that most of their guests can get to.

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The bride gets to choose where to have her wedding. It's HER day, not the guests day.

[esmerelda]

As long as we're off topic, I'd like to add that it used to be the bride's family provided/paid for accommodations for out-of-town guests...an expense of the wedding.

If that was still true today, weddings would be much smaller...and "convenient."

[Plaid Pants2]

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@italia8140 wrote:

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@violann wrote:

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

I agree that destination weddings exist - and I have attended two.  However, in both cases, I was able to stay where the wedding was - not an hour away - which as others have pointed out is inconvenient - for many reasons - not least of which is having to drive  for an hour after partying.

I added this not in respose to the OP whom I have already acknowledged was not asking for opinions on destination weddings, but in response to a poster who seems to think I don't understand what a destination wedding is.

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I'm sorry IA, if you meant me, I wasn't thinking that you didn't understand what destination weddings are. You obviously understand them quite clearly, and I totally agree with your observations.

My snarky button is pushed by brides who get their little hearts set on inaccessible inconvenient places to get married in instead of nice local places that most of their guests can get to.

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The bride gets to choose where to have her wedding. It's HER day, not the guests day.

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Funny, I thought that it was THEIR day. You know, the GROOM, the man that she is marrying? It's his day, too.

In any event, yes, the couple can decide to get married where ever their little hearts desire, but don't then complain if a lot of people can't make because it's too far away for them.

[Deanie]

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@151949 wrote:

When ever weddings are discussed on this board I am always amazed at the number of posters who seem to feel the sky is the limit on what someone should be willing to pay to be a guest at their wedding.Apparently many of the posters here have unlimited financial resources. Good for you all. 

We have a close family friend whose daughter is getting married in San Deigo this summer. The bride's Mom asked me if there was a chance we would go and I said no , we can't afford it for a one afternoon party. She was very understanding and said she is made a list of everyone she wanted to invite but is limited on space at the venue so she is asking all those on the A list if they are planning to actually attend so she can move up people from the B list if they aren't. She said it makes her sad how few of the oldest friends and family can't attend but the bride and groom had their hearts set on this venue in California. That is the chance you take with a destination wedding.

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I do not attend destination weddings.  While I applaud those that do and make it a vacation, I prefer to make my own arrangements for my Holidays on my own timetable.  I also find them to be very costly when taking into account all the expenses plus gifts. For some reason, I think that the billion dollar wedding industry may have something to do with the promotion of these events. In addition, I was told by a wedding planer that destination weddings are the ideal way for the couple to shift expenses from themselves to the guests.  According to him, the planner, most bridal couples are comped rooms and given discounts based on the amount of guests that are full paying and are attending.  Just doesnt set right with me.

[Sooner]

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@italia8140 wrote:

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@violann wrote:

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@Isobel Archer wrote:

I agree that destination weddings exist - and I have attended two.  However, in both cases, I was able to stay where the wedding was - not an hour away - which as others have pointed out is inconvenient - for many reasons - not least of which is having to drive  for an hour after partying.

I added this not in respose to the OP whom I have already acknowledged was not asking for opinions on destination weddings, but in response to a poster who seems to think I don't understand what a destination wedding is.

---

I'm sorry IA, if you meant me, I wasn't thinking that you didn't understand what destination weddings are. You obviously understand them quite clearly, and I totally agree with your observations.

My snarky button is pushed by brides who get their little hearts set on inaccessible inconvenient places to get married in instead of nice local places that most of their guests can get to.

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The bride gets to choose where to have her wedding. It's HER day, not the guests day.

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Well, then the invited people are not GUESTS, they are the audience.  To be a "guest" implies that you are special and treated as such.  If it's the bride's day and that's it, then she should have her wedding solo.  Then she and her most loved one can spend the day together.

Sorry, but if people are guests, yes it is very much about them as well.