OP, the pain from these types of situations can seem overwhelming, and I think you were in some kind of pain prior to the divorce. You do need to understand and believe, that you are not alone and you (and only you) can overcome anything, if you find the right help, and learn to establish the right attitude about your own situation, as well as the others in your life.
I'm a firm believer that therapy only goes so far. If you need it for an ongoing basis, but never see results, you aren't with the right therapist, or you need help from an actual psychiatrist. If you are on medication to help with depression or mental or emotional issues, perhaps it isn't the right medication. If you are not on medication, explore the possibility that it may help you in the process of feeling better, and moving on, without the fear and anxiety. There is no shame in any of it, and one is not weak to need help, only weak to not seek it and accept it.
Does it matter to you, that you make a life that you can share with your children? And that is not meant to be mean, as some people don't want that. If you are wanting to reconnect with your kids, is that in any way a motivator for you to seek the help you need, or fight the fear and do what you know needs done?
If you do not want to reconnect, is there a guilt there that you need help with? You need to be very honest with yourself and your health care professionals about what you really want out of life at this point. Saying what you think you should be saying, or what people expect to hear isn't the answer, if it isn't your truth. You need to be clear within your own head, just what you want to achieve from here on out, and be honest with not only yourself, but those helping you.
And many other posters have been spot on about at least getting out and participating with or doing for others, even if on a very small level. There is nothing more eye opening than seeing just how good many aspects of your life really are when you see the suffering and needs of others. It doesn't mean it will 'snap' you out of it, but will help you develop some needed perspective about where you really are in life, relative to others. It can be one of the quickest ways to be humbled, enriched, and feel blessed, even when certain aspects of your life are very bleak.
I hope you are able to find what you need, and are able to give to others in your life what they need from you. Time is fleeting, and I encourage you to make every attempt to figure out what it is you need and want, and seek ways to get there.
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