Re: "Please..no gifts"....

ID2 · ‎06-25-2012

wrote:

wrote:
OP is fine. They said "no gifts" because they didn't want gifts. However, what are they supposed to do when folks bring gifts and expect them to open them? They can say no, but that can get awkward too.

I'd just let it go.
They can say, I'm sorry, it seems you misunderstood the invitation. It was thoughtful of you to bring a gift but we can't accept it.

Seriously, someone would actually say, "It was thoughtful of you to bring a gift but we can't accept it." Wow now thats awfully rude. Why on earth would anyone say that to their friend? They can't accept it?? That, to me, would end the friendship right then and there. JMO of course.

"Pure Michigan"

Tinkrbl44 · ‎08-23-2010

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I still think you did the right thing but shame on the ones who brought something to look better in front of the other guests.

@OKPrincess

??? I don't know if some people brought gifts to "look better" in front of other guests.

Maybe they knew the birthday boy better than other attendees .... but IMO the gifts should not have been opened during this get together.

OKPrincess · ‎03-10-2013

Thank goodness you wont be attending his 65th again.

The invitation should have read "in lieu of gifts please..." in hindsight of course.

occasionalrain · ‎03-10-2010

wrote:
wrote:

wrote:
OP is fine. They said "no gifts" because they didn't want gifts. However, what are they supposed to do when folks bring gifts and expect them to open them? They can say no, but that can get awkward too.

I'd just let it go.
They can say, I'm sorry, it seems you misunderstood the invitation. It was thoughtful of you to bring a gift but we can't accept it.
Seriously, someone would actually say, "It was thoughtful of you to bring a gift but we can't accept it." Wow now thats awfully rude. Why on earth would anyone say that to their friend? They can't accept it?? That, to me, would end the friendship right then and there. JMO of course.

Yes. However, using a tablet has me sometimes shortening responses. It should have been, it was thoughtful of you to bring a gift and you will understand that to avoid embarrassment we can't accept it.

As to friends, who would want a friend who disregards their wishes?

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

Reading these threads really hit home. I was recently invited to a 90th birthday party of the mom of a friend of mine. She is as sharp as a tack and outspoken as well. She also requested no gifts be given.

About 1/3 of the guests still brought gifts and towards the end of the evening when she was thanking everyone for coming to celebrate with her, she also said something to the effect of: "To those who didn't respect my wishes and brought a present, I thank on behalf of the people in the nursing home where I'm donating those gifts.

Some people there were outraged but others broke out into applause.

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

Deanie · ‎03-09-2010

@reiki604 Hmmm. Not cool. And, had I brought a gift, I would have made a beeline to the gift table to retrieve it. I see no reason to applaud this comment.

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

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@reiki604 Hmmm. Not cool. And, had I brought a gift, I would have made a beeline to the gift table to retrieve it. I see no reason to applaud this comment.

I guess it depends which side you're on. She saw it as people disrespecting her and her wishes so she didn't owe them respect in return. I suppose she sees it as standing up for herself and not allowing herself to be pushed into something she doesn't want, which is totally within character. I have to say I agree with her.

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

sunshine45 · ‎03-09-2010

@reiki604 wrote:
wrote:
@reiki604 Hmmm. Not cool. And, had I brought a gift, I would have made a beeline to the gift table to retrieve it. I see no reason to applaud this comment.
I guess it depends which side you're on. She saw it as people disrespecting her and her wishes so she didn't owe them respect in return. I suppose she sees it as standing up for herself and not allowing herself to be pushed into something she doesn't want, which is totally within character. I have to say I agree with her.

honestly, it would have been much NICER of her to just donate the items instead of making a big scene like that.

********************************************
"The world is a dangerous place, not because of those who do evil, but because of those who look on and do nothing." - Albert Einstein

reiki604 · ‎03-09-2010

wrote:
@reiki604 wrote:
wrote:
@reiki604 Hmmm. Not cool. And, had I brought a gift, I would have made a beeline to the gift table to retrieve it. I see no reason to applaud this comment.
I guess it depends which side you're on. She saw it as people disrespecting her and her wishes so she didn't owe them respect in return. I suppose she sees it as standing up for herself and not allowing herself to be pushed into something she doesn't want, which is totally within character. I have to say I agree with her.

honestly, it would have been much NICER of her to just donate the items instead of making a big scene like that.

She's 90 years old and being NICE is not a priority with her. She says what's on her mind like it or not. She has a wealth of experiences and knowledge she shares.

'I refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed man'.......Unknown

Deanie · ‎03-09-2010

@reiki604 I understand your clarification. In my previous life, I had to eat nails for breakfast, however, that did not excuse me for being rude to those who were kind to me or my allies. I have never been a believer in the adage of 'throwing the baby out with the bathwater.' Just me.