Community Chat

[Citrine1]

I'm the middle child..............and the most normal of the bunch (if I do say so myself).  LOL

[Noel7]

Middle children are known for having a talent for negotiating. They are frequently the peacemaker between their siblings and others.

@pattypeep

I don't think birth position is affecting your son, it's more likely DNA influence.

It's his choice not to marry, maybe he's more of a loner than others in the family.  And maybe he has trouble relating to others, he seems not to understand your affection with your bird. 

At his age, there isn't much you can do to change things.  Keep in touch, let him know you love him and hope for the best. 

It's not your fault

[KYToby]

There may be issues with middle children, but I think that may have more to do with the family itself rather than birth order.

Borthj ofmy parents were middle children. It did not seem tohave an impact on my mother, but my father always said he would never have anodd number of children because he didnott want there to be a middle child; he said that the middle child always feels neglected.  Again, Ithink it had more to do with the families than the birth order.

[Qshopper1991]

I'm a middle child.

I have a sister 2 years older than me (we were born on the same month and day, two years apart! So we are like twins in a way   I have a brother who is 11 years younger than me.

All of us are very close.  Never had any issues with either of them.  We were all close to our parents.  I took care of my mom  when she had cancer in her last weeks of life.  My sister and brother shared doing that with me.  I did most of it because I quit my job to take care of my mom.  I had no children at the time and thought it was the right thing to do, especially since that was my mom's request.

I don't think I'm any better or worse than my siblings.  I've endured a lot more emotionally than both of them (divorce), but other than that we are all on the same page.  Personality - my sis and bro are just like my mom.  Quiet, layed back.  I'm more like my dad - bold, tell it like I see it.  But it never pulled any of us apart. 

[MyShadowLove]

I feel it has to do more with the family dynamics and home environment for each child  which can be different for each, depending on what is going on within the home at the time each child is being raised....much moreso than the birth order of the child.

Scenario (as an example)...When the older child was born, there was a lot of turmoil between the mother and father which had a great effect on the child.....About 9 years later, the middle child is born and she is raised within the same environment as her older brother....However, her older brother now has his little baby sister to help care for and love and they are great comfort and support for each other from the turmoil between mother and father.

Then, six years later, along comes twins...After about four months, the mother and father divorce and the mother then shares a home with her widowed mother, brother and family and a single sister...So, the twins are brought up in an entirely different environment from the older brother and middle sister....surrounded by a very loving, caring family life and feeling very secure...a wonderful childhood, filled with loving memories....However, the younger twin was always favored by the maternal grandmother who gave her all of her attention and gave in to her every whim...When the grandmother passed away, the younger twin was no longer the center of attention....rather treated equally with her twin....She then grew up resenting any attention given to her twin and has always strived to take any attention away from her twin...She became the drama queen of the family and her behavior/attitude eventually caused estrangement between her and her twin.

The older brother struggled with many issues, due to the turmoil that he had experienced between mother and father...He was unable to maintain a healthy relationship in his own marriage...He had felt very helpless growing up in not being able to protect his mother from his father's dominating behavior...This haunted him his entire life.

The middle sister ended up marrying a very controlling and demanding man (much like her father)...Eventually, the marriage ended in divorce, fortunately for her....However, she has a very protective wall around her and can appear distant and ungiving of herself.

So, as you can see from the scenario above, a lot has to do more with the family dynamics/environment that each child is raised in at a particular time and how each child can be affected...moreso, than the order of birth.

I didn't mean to write a dissertation...lol...but I have always found any subject about family dynamics and relationships to be so fascinating...I started taking Psychology classes in my early 20's, as I was thinking of possibly a career in this field, but I ended up going into another career.

Very interesting thread!

eta:...edited to make more brief...lol

[MaRina]

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@Citrine1 wrote:

I'm the middle child..............and the most normal of the bunch (if I do say so myself).  LOL

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@Citrine1  Ditto.....me too 

I'm one of 7 

[songbird]

Birth order does contribute to your personality.  Middle children have to face enough money for college (the eldest didn't have to), buying new clothes (hand me downs) being an indivdual (pictures with you surrounded by other child's arms) getting lost (thinking you're around when you're not)  

Is it any wonder you become a mess?

[2blonde]

@qvcfreak  You are very fortunate to have such a close family!  Your parents must have done a great job.  Enjoy each other as much as you can, after the parents are gone, siblings become so much more important!

[2blonde]

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@Vivian Florimond wrote:

My 94 year old mother was a middle child and I do think that her being the second girl, before a much wanted boy who was the third child, dictated her life. One story is a metaphor for her attitude. When she was a young girl, she found a ring. It turned out to be quite valuable. My grandmother reported the find to the police who told her that if no one claimed the ring in a month, the ring could be kept. The month passed and nobody claimed it. My mother was thrilled. However, her older sister made a fuss and my grandmother made my mother give the ring to her older sister. Why? Because the older sister cared more about the ring and the younger sister should accede to her older sister's wishes.

My mother told me that story many, many years after it happened. I was furious! How could her mother have done that? It seems that my immigrant grandmother thought more of her first born, and of course her son, than my mother, the middle child. To this day, my mother doesn't like to spend money on herself, as if she's unworthy. It makes me angry and sad.

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@Vivian  OMG, that's awful!  Yes, I had an older sister, but my parents would never have been that mean to me, and neither would my sister.  (Of course, by the time I was 10, she was already married and out of our house.)

[colliemom4]

I've read that middle children are usually the best adjusted, but I've also read that they often feel left out. Personally, I think it depends on the individual. We all are so very different that I hate to place anyone in a particular category. I know I have siblings that are the complete opposite of one another. Yet I know other siblings that share the same interests/thoughts and are a lot alike.