Community Chat

[phoenixbrd]

@Mom2Dogs  I went to a Celebration of Life at a reception room at. the Hyatt.  It was a memorable and loving celebration.  There was a buffet and anyone could participate in going up to the mike and sharing their stories of our friend who had recently transitioned.  I think it was  touching and exactly what my friend would have wanted.

[CalminHeart]

Yes, Celebration of Life can be a religous service. If you google it, so many will say it's not but that's just wrong. But it's really playing semantics.

It's become a common term. I see it everywhere, even when a Catholic Mass or other religion's full service is being held.

It really doesn't matter what they call it. People come together to remember, celebrate the deceased, pray for the deceased, and pray the deceased goes to Heaven.

[SloopJohnB]

I guess I am an old stick in the mud, but I just call it funeral services.  When my parents died, we had a viewing (some call it a wake) & during the viewing there was a rosary service.  The next day was the funeral Mass & then the procession to the cemetery.  Then the final prayers are held there before the casket is interred.  

But I do see it called a Celebration of Life.  I guess I am just behind the times on this one...

[Rockycoast]

A Celebration of Life is different than a Wake and Funeral  service for what I have attended.  I just attended a COL  picnic for my brother that passed in January.  He did not want a church service so we had a graveside attendance with just family and close friends.  A pastor read some passages and family and friends spoke about my brother.  The COL was just a month ago.  It was more in the lines of a picnic, family, friends and anyone else that knew him gathering where we talked about my brother, laughed and cried.  Food and drinks, games to keep the young kids occupied. A table set up with poster boards filled with pictures of him.  Very relaxed, fun and full of remembrance. A fitting send off for my brother. 

[pieman]

@SloopJohnB No, you aren't alone in your way of thinking.

I guess expressions are whats changing,

The one that gets me the most is when its written "they died peacefully "

Now, unless you pass in your sleep, I have never witnessed anyone die peacefully.

Its an awful way to watch your loved  one leave this earth, there is no peace for the patient. Both of my folks were loaded with morophine and still suffered in the final time I had with them.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all just go to bed one night and  just move on, in our sleep. Now that would be a true celebration.. Not remembering the loved one suffering in pain. That's not the way anyone should have to remember them.

[SloopJohnB]

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@pieman wrote:

@SloopJohnB No, you aren't alone in your way of thinking.

I guess expressions are whats changing,

The one that gets me the most is when its written "they died peacefully "

Now, unless you pass in your sleep, I have never witnessed anyone die peacefully.

Its an awful way to watch your loved  one leave this earth, there is no peace for the patient. Both of my folks were loaded with morophine and still suffered in the final time I had with them.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could all just go to bed one night and  just move on, in our sleep. Now that would be a true celebration.. Not remembering the loved one suffering in pain. That's not the way anyone should have to remember them.

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@pieman   A big amen to this.  

[Helen852]

My husband was adamant about what to do when he passed. He said absolutely no wake, no service ... cremation and have a party instead.  To me that was what a celebration of life should be.  Which is what we did.  We had picture boards, played is favorite music in the background and invited friends and family to remember him and celebrate his life.  We did the same for my mother.  

[shoekitty]

A celebration of life, is simply that, a celebration.  The last few years because of Covid I have seem many.  Some are held months after death, a year sometimes. Some shortly after death.  I have been to many.  The ones I have been to the body isn't present, it has been buried or was done that morning or even next day after celebration. There is a photo, usually no flowers just a few family puts  out,  It is usually more upbeat.  I have seen wonderful videos, and more upbeat speeches by friends and family.  Some are very quick, then move to a restaurant .  A couple I have gone to we met the deceased persons favorite restaurant , usually in a room in back. There are a couple speeches, and people offer memories.  It is nice.  I think a funeral is more somber, and many memorials  are like celebrations.  In my own personal experiences, they have been for people who were older, I'll a long time with death expected.   Usually when someone I know dies, if I know they are having memorial or celebration I send flowers, cards, food to home.  I like plants.  A bonsai or something. 

[beach-mom]

In our denomination a "Celebration of Life" is a religious service held anytime after the person has passed away. It is often held when the family or designated heir(s) wants to have a private service limited to invited guests. It is also often had at a time in the future. It is almost always held after the burial or cremation. 

From my experience it is similar to any other funeral or memorial service. There is sometimes a printed program, and there are hymns, and remembrances from family and friends. 

[shoekitty]

A Celebration is wonderful. I also remember a saying my Hispanic friend told me.

In her tradition people die three deaths 

The First Death. When our bodies cease to function, when our hearts no 

Longer beat of their own accord, when our gaze has no longer depth or weight, when the space we occupy slowly looses its meaning

The second Death , the most definitive death comes when the body is lowered into the ground, returned to the earth ...out of sight.

The Third death , the most definitive is when there is no one left alive to remembe rus.

that is why we celebrate , leave photos, talk about our loved ones and pass it on. In her culture they  have the day of the dead, to celebrate all who have died, especially their loved ones.  Me I always remember to tell stories to my grandkids about all the ancestors in our family...that I know of anyway.